The O'Neill Chronicles Book II The O'Neills part 1
by chazevelt
Summary: Jack's been married for two years, but his life is far from the idyllic peace he expected. When things get out of hand, he makes a hard decision the wrong one. Which leads to another decision, one he would have bet his life he never would have made.


Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Sci-fi and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

The author of this story owns the character of Maddy and expressly denies permission for anyone else to use her- especially to kill her off!

Comments are welcomed and encouraged. I try to respond to all reviews.

WARNING: Adult language, adult situations, violence, and nudity. Mature subject matter, mature readers please.

Book I of The O'Neill Chronicles, Jack Retires, is downloaded on this site in two installments due to it's size. This story pickes up where Jack Retires leaves off, so please consider reading both installments of Jack Retires first. Thank you.

Due to size constraints, it has been necessary to download The O'Neills in two installments. Both parts are finished and available on this site. I apologize for any inconvenience.

The O'Neill Chronicles

Book II, Installment One

The O'Neills

Chapter One

Colonel Samantha Carter stuck her head around Maddy O'Neill's office door. The retired general's wife was working at the computer, her unruly auburn hair beginning to fight its way clear of the barrettes that tried to tame it. Sam tapped on the door frame and Maddy looked up.

"Sam! Hi!" She turned immediately and gave the colonel her full attention. "The mission go okay? Nobody got hurt?"

Sam walked into the office and dropped into a seat. "Fine. We even managed to bring the Odyssey home in one piece... for a change."

"The Ori?"

Sam grimaced and shook her head. "The Prior hasn't shown up again. They're being incredibly quiet lately. Can't figure out what's up..."

The computer beeped at her. Maddy glanced at the screen. It was an instant message from Jack. With extremely explicit content. Maddy blushed and hurriedly moved the text out of sight. A glance at Sam told her the colonel had already read it. She was snickering. Maddy shook her head.

"Just a minute." She quickly typed that she had a visitor and would get back to him later, then turned back to the colonel. The computer beeped again. The message box was back. Jack wanted to know who was there.

"You should have never showed how to IM," Sam laughed.

"He's like a kid with a new toy. Watch this." She typed that since he was technically her boss, that last message could be considered sexual harassment. Jack typed back that since he was technically her husband, he expected her to reply in kind. Maddy sighed.

"Give him something to do," Carter suggested. "Tell him to meet you in his quarters in fifteen minutes and you'll discuss that first message in detail."

Maddy chuckled as she relayed the message. "There. Good thinking, Sam. That should buy us a few minutes."

"He's not going to be happy when he has to come looking for you."

"He'll get happy as soon as we get home," Maddy grinned. "What were you saying?"

"Anyway, I've got a free weekend. Do you and the general have any plans?"

"Jack's always got _plans_. But I can foil them if I can tire him out enough the night before to slip outta bed before he can implement them again in the morning." She said it dryly, but with a pretty flush that told the colonel she really didn't mind a bit.

Carter laughed at her. "I was just wondering if we could go riding sometime this weekend. I really need to unwind."

The computer beeped again. Jack wanted to know if she'd left yet. Maddy typed back, 'Yes, Jack, I've already left.' Sam tried not to smirk.

"Name the day and time," Maddy told her. "I think the boys have a golf game set up for Saturday morning about eight- we could go then and get outta being dragged along."

"You still don't like to golf?"

Maddy made a face. "Golf courses are a sinful waste of good horse pasture," she grumbled. "I get plenty of exercise without chasing a little ball all over Creation. But Jack likes it so I go and I try and I pretend to be interested. He's so patient with all the stuff I get him into... We do have fun snickering at the way some of those people dress." She sat forward. "I'm gonna buy him a really goofy golfing outfit- argyle socks, knickers, hat- the whole nine yards. Just to watch him squirm. You _know_ he'll wear it no matter silly he feels because I bought it for him." She chuckled evilly.

Sam giggled. "He will. Oh, Maddy, you have to get all of us there when he does! Pink?"

"Pink, lavender, and green. Maybe some yellow."

"Give it to him for Easter," Sam suggested.

"There's a thought! I could surprise him with reservations for all of us, schedule a tee time so he can't back out... Don't they make colored balls? I could color-coordinate..."

Her mischievous plot was interrupted when Colonel Carter was paged to the briefing room. Sam got up to leave. Jack IM'd her again.

"Saturday morning, then."

"Hey, Sam! I want to do a Forth of July cookout. Got any plans?" She typed 'start without me' and sent it.

Carter turned back at the door. "Daniel and Cam have been trying to figure out a way to talk the general into talking you into doing one," she grinned. "Can I tell them _I_ talked you into it?"

"Absolutely. But tell them since you handled their dirty work, they have to cough up steaks, shrimp, and beer. Just make sure I get them a couple days ahead of time so I can marinate them."

"Not a problem. See you Saturday."

Maddy turned back to her computer. She found her place in the accounting ledger, entered six numbers, and was interrupted by another tap on the door. She turned to see Vala Mal Doran slinking into the office. She knew from the look on the alien's face that Vala had mischief on her mind.

Jack was impatiently sending her lines of question marks.

"Hey, Vala. Glad to see you safely back." Maddy turned around and smiled as the dark haired woman oozed into the seat Sam had just vacated.

"Boring mission," Vala complained. "Daniel kept his nose buried in those dusty parchments the entire time."

Maddy smiled her sympathy. "Can you come to the lodge for the Forth of July? Sam wheedled me into a cookout."

Vala sat forward. "I've never been to a cookout. What's involved?"

"You cook outside, then eat outside," Maddy explained distractedly. She sent Jack a line of red-faced icons. "Beer, desserts, football if it's not too hot, swimming if it is, maybe some poker, ganging up on the guys..."

Vala grinned. "Sounds like fun. ...Um, Mrs. O'Neill..."

Maddy's instinct that Vala had trouble on her mind was confirmed by the use of her married address. She tried not to narrow her eyes suspiciously.

"You wouldn't happen to know the coordinates of that planet where you and the general were held captive?"

Jack had warned her about this. She glanced at the calender. He won their bet on how long it would take her to ask. Damn. There went her evening. But the thought gave her a delicious tingle.

"I have no clue, Vala. Why?"

The woman squirmed. "I could sell those gems and make a _fortune_. I thought we could go into a partnership, say, sixty-forty..."

"We don't know that they're _gems_- they might just be crystals. And how would we get there?"

She shrugged carelessly. "A ship is only a minor detail. Mining equipment might present a problem, though."

"Wouldn't need anything more than these," Maddy wiggled her fingers. "I might be persuaded into business with you, but at fifty-fifty."

"I'm the one who has to steal, um, _appropriate_ a ship. And I have the contacts," she countered.

"Neither of which will do you an iota of good without the planet."

Vala eyed her shrewdly. "Of which you don't know the coordinates."

It was Maddy's turn to shrug. "I could get them."

"Aris Boch?"

Maddy's eyes widened. "No way! Jack would kill him- then he'd kill me. But I'm sure Jack has access to the information."

"You aren't going to tell him!" Vala yelped. "He'll never agree to let you do it!"

Maddy smiled. "First, Vala, I keep nothing from my husband. Second, he'll rant and rave and kick dirt, but if I go ahead there isn't a damn thing he can do about it."

Vala had the grace to look concerned. "I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise your marriage. You wouldn't have to go along- just give me the coordinates and I'll handle the rest. For seventy-thirty, of course."

Subtle. "Damn straight I'd be going," Maddy told her. "I'd love to go back there again. And Vala, for fifty-fifty this is a one-time deal. I don't want that place stripped bare."

"It's an entire _planet_!" she said, gesturing with her hands.

Maddy glanced past Vala when Jack appeared in the doorway, then looked back at the alien so she wouldn't tip her off that he was there.

"It's a paradise," she said with a shake of her head. "I don't want any of the wildlife disturbed, I don't want it picked clean, and I don't want the coordinates sold all over the universe. If we do this, I'll ask Jack to see if Teal'c can get us a ship. We'll all go. Then you can handle selling the stones. At thirty-seventy, of course."

"The more we bring in on this, the more it cuts into the profit. Teal'c and the general's portion would have to come out of your thirty."

"Jack and I would get seventy, Vala, and we'll take care of Teal'c. You'll just have to get a damn good price to make your thirty worth-while. You can take care of Daniel's share out of your portion."

"_Daniel?_"

"Of course. We need someone to keep us both honest. Not that it would ever cross _your_ mind to keep the lion's share and slide the scale on what you tell us you actually _got_ for the gems. Or crystals. Or whatever they are."

"Well of course not," she grinned. "We're friends, Madison!"

Ahhh, she was 'Madison' now. Maddy shifted forward. "Now, if you could find a ship to buy or trade the gems _for_... well, that's a different story. I might be inclined to make more than one trip if Jack and I could get our own ship outta the deal."

"A ship!" Vala leaned forward. "How many of those gemstones are there again?"

"The planet is made of them."

"What kind of ship would you want?"

Maddy resisted the urge to glance at her husband, but she knew the look on his face had to be exquisite. "Something small- just a runabout of some sort. Something we can land at the lodge. Has to have some sort of beaming technology so we can transport back and forth. Shields, weapons for defense. Nothing Sam can't fix if it needs worked on. Other than that, I don't know what's out there."

Vala gnawed on her lip, contemplating. "It would come out of your forty percent, right?"

"It would come out of our sixty percent, sure. But I'd let you sell the first cargo hold full and keep the profits so you could get buyers and a ship lined up. The second load would get us our ship, and we'll work out the difference. After that, if we go back for anymore, we split every load. Of course, since we'd be using _our_ ship, it would have to be seventy-thirty."

General O'Neill would never let you go along, but if you let me borrow your ship from time to time in order to sell them, I could be happy with sixty-forty."

"We don't want to flood the market," Maddy mused. "And we don't even know there will be a market for those stones. Once we get the ship, we need to lay low for awhile, let the stuff circulate, let a desire for them build. Then, perhaps once a year or so, we could make a run. But only if I go along- at sixty percent. And I get to drive." Maddy let her eyes drift past Vala and she smiled. "Hi, Honey!" She glanced at her watch. "Time to go home?"

Jack bit back a grin as he walked forward as if he had just entered the office. "Hello, Vala." He walked around the desk and kissed his wife. "Whenever you're ready."

Vala stood. "When is this outcooking thing again?"

"July forth."

"Can I bring a date?"

"Daniel's already invited."

"Oh. Well, I'll be talking to you before then anyway." She sauntered out of the office with a saucy little wave over her shoulder.

Jack planted both hands on the arms of Maddy's chair and touched noses with her. "I leave you alone for _five minutes_..."

Maddy giggled. "We're having a Forth of July cookout."

"And?"

"And you won the bet," she groused.

"Which one?"

"Vala is hounding me for the coordinates of Nirrti's planet."

"What the hell are you gonna do with a ship?"

"Fly it?" she blinked innocently.

Jack slowly shook his head. "Wanna bet?"

"Yeah, I do," she shot back. "Sam and Vala and Teal'c will teach me. What, I have to have a special license, pass a course in interstellar navigation? Because I for damn sure don't need anybody's _permission_."

"Maddy..."

"Ja-ack."

"You know this'll probably never come to pass," he cautioned.

"I know, but now Daniel owes me _big_ time for getting Vala off his back about finding her a treasure to hock."

Jack's eyes narrowed down on her. "And just what do you intend to get outta Daniel for this service?"

She sat back and pursed her lips. "I dunno. What do you think it'll be worth?"

"Just about anything you wanna ask," he said carefully.

Maddy sensed a surge in the jealously that she knew Jack struggled with where Daniel was concerned. Time to soothe the beast.

"Hmmm. Well, I don't need sex, that's for sure. He's already teaching me Latin..."

"What do you mean you don't need sex?"

She flipped a hand at him. "I get plenty of that, and first rate stuff, too. It'd be like asking for pennies when I've got a dollar tree in the bedroom already."

Jack dropped his head down and laughed. "Maddy..." He sighed and looked up at her again. "Just promise me if you get it into your head to go through with this deal with Vala, you'll keep me up to speed and you won't go flying off alone with her."

"Would you come along?" she asked excitedly.

"You don't think I'd let you go without me?"

"I didn't think you'd be interested."

"I'm only interested in keeping you safe and outta trouble. ...A _ship_, Maddy?"

"Why not? Be kinda cool, wouldn't it?"

He studied her eyes for a long moment then shook his head again. "Why am I surprised? Only you, Madison Elaine. Only you."

"And Vala," she corrected.

"You sure handed her her ass during negotiations," he approved. "I think that amazed me more than the deal you two were cooking up. I married quite a horse trader, didn't I?"

"Literally," she nodded. "Jack? How hard will I have to negotiate to get you to take me home and make love to me? I'll take you joy riding in my space ship someday."

**Chapter Two**

Sam watched Maddy's face as the other woman stared down at the foal carcass. There were tears in her eyes, but she was handling it well. The colonel knew how excited Maddy had been about buying the new mare with the baby at her side, knew she had planned on letting Jack raise the colt as his own. She watched as the huge horse she was riding reared and danced nervously at the smell of blood and she was thankful that the horse she was riding wasn't nearly as spirited. Nothing the big animal did seemed to faze her. Small wonder General O'Neill was so enamored of his wife.

"Let's go back and get the rifles," Maddy said grimly.

"What killed it?" Carter asked. "A bear?"

Maddy shook her head. "A cat. A stray grizzly, maybe but highly doubtful. We've got mostly blacks around here but there're enough nuts and berries to keep one from getting hungry enough to battle that mare. They're just not aggressive enough to go after a foal. A Mexican or a gray wolf would bring it down, but they're pretty scarce and the kill pattern is all wrong. Coyotes, maybe, but there's enough small prey to keep them happy and that mare would have convinced them to look elsewhere. And if coyotes had brought it down the carcass would have been shredded from them fighting over it, the bones dragged around."

She shifted in the saddle, her eyes raking the terrain as she spoke.

"Canines attack from the back, Sam, go for the hamstring to bring it down, then go for the throat. The colt's neck is broken right behind his ears, and there are claw marks on his shoulders." She glanced up and around, then nodded at a huge boulder. "The cat was on top of that rock. Landed on the baby's back. First bite broke his neck before he hit the ground. The mare went after it." She pointed to marks on the boulder where the horse's shoes scuffed the stone. "Let's head back. I want to track this devil before the trail goes cold."

Maddy whirled the big horse and let him bound away from the smell of death. Sam followed at a slower pace. When they reached the waterfall at the edge of the lake, Sam caught up to her.

"Will you wait until the general gets home?" It was a dumb question, but Sam felt she had to make the suggestion. O'Neill wouldn't be happy about his wife out hunting a mountain lion without him.

Maddy canted her a side-long glance. "I'm a big girl, Sam. You don't have to go along if you've got something else you need to do. I might be awhile."

Sam shrugged. "I'll go along, if you don't mind?"

Maddy turned Taco to face the colonel. "Then would you mind waiting here while I go get the rifle? I can make better time alone," she added apologetically.

"No problem. I need to stretch my legs anyhow."

"Get off before I go. She's gonna fuss a bit when we leave. Don't get stepped on."

Sam stepped down stiffly and held onto Chimmy as Maddy rode off. Taco was still bouncing and nearly galloping in place as they moved along. When Maddy got a safe distance away, she turned the big gelding loose. Carter caught a breath as the powerful horse launched into a dead run across the rugged slope, leaping ditches, dodging rocks and clumps of brush, clods of dirt flying into the air behind him.

"General O'Neill's right," Carter said to the fussing mare. "She's nuts."

Maddy came back just as fast as she had left, drawing the heaving horse to a ground-churning sliding stop. The hard run seemed only to fuel Taco's energy and he finished his spectacular stop by rearing high into the air. Maddy patted his sweaty shoulder as all four feet touched down again and he began chomping on the bit and grinding his teeth. Neck arched tightly, ears and eyes trained on Sam, the colonel could have sworn the horse was preening for her.

"Now maybe he'll settle down and let me track without climbing the trees." She unbuckled a scabbard and handed it over to Sam. "Hook this on your saddle. It's the twelve-gauge. You're our protection if it gets too close above us. I brought the 30-30 _and_ the .300- no telling what terrain we'll get into. If it comes down to it, take the shot, Sam, then drop the gun and hang on for dear life because Chimmy will freak. Let her run a little ways then stop her, but don't try to hold her in place right off."

Maddy waited until Sam was back in the saddle then led the way back to the carcass. She stepped off and studied the ground. Sam watched curiously as she meticulously sorted out details of the attack then picked up the cat's trail.

Three hours later Samantha Carter had a whole new respect for General O'Neill's wife. She had patiently and shrewdly ferreted-out a trail from, at times, nothing more than overturned stones, marks in tree bark, and single hairs left at the base of rocks the cat had squeezed past. One time Maddy had sniffed the air, followed her nose, and found where the big cat had urinated.

They were steadily moving into rugged high country. Maddy walked most of the time, eyes to the ground with a firm warning to Sam to keep looking up. The horses patiently clamored over smooth rock, loose shale, around and through brush. Taco seemed to be a different horse now. The hard run had taken the edge off him and he carefully followed Maddy along like a dog as if he understood play time was over and they had gotten down to business. When Maddy's cell phone rang all four of them started. Maddy clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"Yes, Dear?" she answered with a smirk at Sam. There was a pause. "I'm up on the east ridge with Sam." Another pause. "I'll be awhile, Jack. I have some bad news, Honey." She grimaced at Sam and frowned. "I hate to tell you this over the phone... the colt's dead." Her eyes welled and she looked away. "Mountain lion. I'm tracking him now." She held the phone away and Sam could hear O'Neill roaring. Maddy studied the sky until he stopped then put the phone back to her ear. "Yes, Dear."

Sam snickered.

"It'll take as long as it takes, Jack," she said patiently. "No," she glanced at her watch, "I'm four hours into it, and the sign is getting fresher, more frequent." She turned and looked above them. "I'm gonna take a guess and say he's got a hole just above us somewhere. I can see a couple out-croppings that look interesting, and I can smell more urine." She tapped her foot as Jack talked, pursed her lips and bobbed her head. "Jack... Jack. I'm gonna give the phone to Sam and you can bitch at me through her. I wanna get this done and get off this mountainside before I lose the light. ...Yes, Dear." She handed the phone to Sam while he was still talking. Sam raised it to her ear.

"...get your ass back down here and we'll both go up tomorrow morning. Maddy?"

"Um, no, Sir, it's Carter."

"Carter, get her to give it up until tomorrow when I can go with!"

"Don't think that's a realistic objective, Sir."

"Damn it, what gun did she take?"

"We're armed to the teeth, General," Sam placated.

"Taco will get her killed up there!"

"No, Sir, he's actually behaving quite well," she told him. "Maddy, um, took the edge off him and he hasn't taken a misstep. She's on foot and he's following her like a puppy. She's not even holding the reins."

"Are _you_ okay, Carter?" he asked. "That's gotta be some damned rough terrain up there. Why the hell did she let you go up there with her? I _am_ glad you're there or she'd have gone alone, but you aren't experienced enough with the horses to be... Damn it, talk her into coming down."

It was the most she had ever heard General O'Neill say in one breath. "Take it easy, General. I'm fine, Maddy's fine. It's pretty cool watching her track. She and Teal'c together could out-trail a bloodhound."

"And I'm missing it," he groused quietly. "How'd she know it was a cat? She's been thinning out coyotes..."

"I'm sure she'll tell you all about it."

He was quiet for a moment. "She's pretty awesome, isn't she Carter?"

Sam grinned at the phone. "Yes, Sir. Listen, General, the battery is gonna give out if we don't hang up."

"Tell him I said, 'Don't call us, we'll call you!' Maddy instructed. "Say 'radio silence' if that's what he'll understand."

Sam giggled and repeated what she said.

"Tell her if she doesn't check in every twenty minutes I'm gonna have Thor beam your asses off that mountain! Horses and all!"

"Yes, Sir." Sam cut the connection.

They spent another two hours slowly weaving their way up the mountain. Sam took a drink from the canteen slung around the horn and edged Chimmy into the shade of a lone, high-country pine. She hitched her rear and found a more comfortable position. The mare rested one hip, dropped her head, and dozed. Maddy finally made her way back to Sam.

"Gather up the reins a little and settle yourself deep in the seat, Sam. Press down hard with the balls of your feet and be ready for her to jump outta her skin. Just talk to her."

"See something?"

Maddy turned and pointed. "I can smell it. It's watching us. See that small opening in the side of that cliff, just below those two pines?"

Sam squinted into the glare. "Yeah, I see it now."

"Watch real close. Every once in a while you can catch just a glimmer of sunlight reflecting off something in the darkness. That's the wetness of his eyes. Don't look directly at it, look to the side just a tad. You'll see it more clearly."

"Why don't you use the scope?"

"I will, when I'm sure," Maddy told her softly. "Right now he thinks he sees us but we don't see him. When I aim a rifle at him, he's gonna bolt."

"He?"

"A she doesn't pee _up_. He's marking territory. I'm glad. I hate the thought of taking a momma from kits." She turned to give Sam a nasty smile. "Always easier taking a shot at a _male_..."

Sam snickered. As Maddy moved back to Taco and slowly drew the .300 out of the scabbard, Carter studied the crevasse. She tried the trick Maddy suggested and after a moment or two she did catch just the hint of a glimmer in the darkness.

"Has it been twenty minutes?" Maddy called softly.

Sam checked her watch. "Just about."

"Would you mind calling Jack? Tell him I'm about to take a shot and I don't want the damned phone screwing it up."

Sam did as she requested then watched Maddy studying the cliff. Finally Maddy drew the .30.-.30 and brought it back to Sam.

"I'm gonna need a hand. Step off and I'll tie her up." As Carter dismounted she handed her the rifle. Maddy removed both reins from the bit, linked them together, then tied one end around the mare's neck in a knot that wouldn't slip and the other end to the tree.

"Why not just tie her the way they were?" Sam asked.

"Never tie a horse by the bit. I know all the cowboys did it in the movies, but she's gonna jerk and I don't want her busting a tooth or breaking her jaw."

"What about Taco?"

"I only ever have to tie one of them- the other won't stray too far. And I've shot off him enough that he's pretty steady." She led Sam to a large boulder. "When we get ready, I want you to put a shot below that slit. The .30-.30 doesn't have enough range, but it should spook him outta his hole. If I did it, he'd be out and into those trees before I could get another slug chambered."

Sam glanced at the tops of the trees that were about ten feet from the opening where the cat was hiding. "That's still a hell of a long shot for the .300," she said. "Shouldn't we move up the slope a little farther? There's a good spot directly under the cliff, thirty yards closer. A straight-up shot will knock off another ten."

"I'm afraid if we try to get any closer he'll bolt. I can take him from here."

Sam raised her eyebrows and shrugged. Maddy unscrewed the scope, put her hand over the lens, and raised it. With her fingers keeping the sunlight from reflecting off the glass, she peered between them and studied the narrow slot in the wall of the mountain.

"He's pacing. He senses something." She turned to Taco, showed him the rifle, and let him hear her lever a bullet into the chamber. "Steady, Taco. Big boom, okay?"

"Um, don't you want to put the scope back on?" Sam asked.

"Huh-uh." Maddy braced her hip against the side of the rock and sighted along the barrel. A moment later she reached out and raised the open sights. "Ready?"

Sam propped her elbow on the rock and took aim. "You know this gun better than I do. What do you think, aim just above the opening?"

"Yeah, that should drop it where we want it."

"Wish I had my P90."

"I wish we had Teal'c's staff weapon."

Sam laughed and had to readjust her aim.

"Steady, Taco."

Sam squeezed off a shot. They saw dust spurt near the opening. In the same instant the big cat leaped the gap between the crevasse and the tree tops. Maddy's rifle barked before the cat's hind legs left the cliff. She caught him in mid-leap. He twisted and screamed. Maddy's upper body pivoted just a fraction as she quickly worked the bolt, and when the rifle spoke again it was to put another bullet in the cat's body as it was tumbling down the face of the cliff.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam breathed. She turned wide eyes on her friend. "What a shot! Both of them!"

"Thanks," Maddy beamed. "You too. I'm gonna take the twelve gauge and go up to make sure we got him."

"Oh, I don't think there's any doubt."

"Just incase," Maddy told her. "I don't want him suffering. Would you mind calling Jack again? I shouldn't be too long. Ask him to go get a couple of pizzas and we should be back about the same time he is."

Sam watched her move through the scattering of rock and brush as she dialed the phone.

"General? It's Carter again. If you know what's good for you, Sir, you won't ever piss her off."

**Chapter Three**

"Jack, I can't _do_ this!"

It was the closest he had ever heard her come to whining. Jack watched his wife wring her hands nervously and he shook his head, confounded.

"Maddy, you look amazing."

And she did. The black cocktail gown fit her perfectly, accentuating her curves and showcasing enough cleavage to make his mouth water. Her hair had been swept up in a sophisticated style and the red highlights stood out more than ever. Her face looked like a perfectly painted china doll. It was the most makeup he had ever seen her wear, but it was still less than half of what the other women there tonight would be wearing. It made her eyes stand out beautifully and her lips so seductive he was already jealous of the looks she would be getting from lusting males. He was very tempted to say to hell with the formal dinner, rip off that dress, take down her hair, and spend the evening ravishing her.

It didn't help to know that she'd prefer that to facing the throng of people at the White House.

"Don't you leave me for a second," she pleaded. "If you have to pee, I'm going into the men's room with you!"

"A crowbar couldn't pry me away from you tonight." He drew her into his arms and laid his cheek against her hair. "You'll knock 'em dead, Gorgeous." He could feel her trembling and he dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Don't think about the dinner, don't think about the people. Think about what I'm gonna do with you when we get back in about five hours."

She giggled nervously. "Can I whisper suggestions into your ear while we dance?"

"As long as you don't forget and say something suggestive to the President when he's dancing with you."

Maddy gasped and pulled away. "Nuh-uhhh! Jack, don't make me! I'll stumble and trip him and it'll look like a scene out of a Naked Gun movie!"

"You won't have time, Babe. Those requisite dances only last a few moments. You'll be fine, I promise." He grasped her arms and gave her a hard look. "We probably won't be seated together at the table," he warned. "They usually split up couples."

She closed her eyes and shuddered. "I won't know which fork to use when."

"Watch the First Lady and do what she does. How do you think I do it?"

"They expect you to lick your knife, Jack. You're the dark, untamed, rogue hero."

He laughed. "I'll do it if you'll make love to me in the limo on the way back tonight."

"You're on, but I have to see you do it. And by the way," she lifted his hand and kissed his wedding band. "You'd do well to remember you're a married man now. It's the President you should watch for cues, not the First Lady. You're gonna be damned embarrassed when you have to come bail me outta Guantanamo for snatching her bald- headed."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Jealous already? We haven't even arrived yet!"

"Let's don't and say we did?"

"Just be yourself, Maddy. You'll have them eating outta your hand."

"What can I say and what should I not say?"

"I don't care what you say, Babe. What you cannot say is 'yes' to any of the multitude of propositions you're gonna get."

"I meant, well, I know not to say anything about the Stargate Program, or aliens, or..."

He grasped her shoulders and squeezed. "Maddy, it won't come up. Nothing will come up that is taboo. If you're asked anything you're unsure of, just flash that dazzling smile of yours, let your hand drift to your cleavage, and I guarantee they'll instantly forget what they asked."

"Oh, Jack, I can't do this. I get into a room full of people and I get so hot. I'll sweat and look greasy. I feel like I swell up so huge that I dwarf everyone around me. I turn bright red and everyone looks at me..."

"Everyone is gonna look at you, Babe, because you'll be the most beautiful creature they've ever seen. You smell so damned good... Be prepared, though. Your ass is gonna be sore from getting pinched."

"If I deck some randy politician for groping, will the secret service shoot me on the spot, or just wrestle me from the room in handcuffs?"

"Neither will get you outta going," he grinned.

"I'm gonna fall off these heels."

"You wear heels."

"Not like these. I know I walk funny in them. Can I wear my dancing boots?"

"Go barefoot for all I care. Hell, wear that Jaf'fa outfit you came home with that time. That'll knock 'em all on their asses!"

She batted at his chest. "That's how I feel already!" She picked up the small clutch purse and grimaced at it. "I hate carrying a purse."

"So don't carry it."

"I'll have to repair my lipstick after dinner."

"Is that all you have in there?"

She nodded. "There'll be enough perfume in that place without me adding more to it."

He frowned. "That _will_ bother you, won't it?"

She nodded grimly.

"When it gets to be too much, just touch your nose and I'll take you outside for air." He opened the purse, removed the lipstick, slipped it into his pocket, and tossed the purse on the bed. "There. Problem solved."

"I love you, Jack O'Neill. I want to kiss you, but I'll smear lipstick all over you."

"It's time to go anyway," he told her. "Save it up for when we get back."

"Won't be wasting any lipstick in the limo because you won't lick your knife," she taunted.

"What'll I get if I lick it twice?"

"A silly golfing outfit?" she suggested slyly.

He narrowed his eyes on her. "Where'd that come from?"

"Oh, nowhere." She let her fingers glide across the tops of her breasts. Jack's eyes followed their path and his mind put his lips in their place. It took him a full minute to realize she was purposely distracting him. When he raked his gaze back to her eyes she was laughing at him.

"Tell you what: Once you get it in the limo. Twice you get it in the public place of your choice before we leave Washington. _But_, if you do it and anybody else does it because you did it first, I'll ask the President for a second dance."

"Oh, Baby, you're on. But if I do it twice, I get it in the limo _and_ a public place. If I get the President himself to lick his knife, you have to go an entire weekend naked."

"If you get the President himself to lick his knife at a formal dinner I'll spend an entire week naked on Nirrti's planet with you."

"A month if the First Lady does it."

"You are so gonna lose this one!"

"Didja bring a pair of scissors?"

"Scissors?" she frowned.

"To make a strategic cut in those pantyhose before we leave," he leered. "Save taking them off in the limo."

She batted him on the chest. "Jack! Really!" she clicked her tongue at him as she turned to check her hair in the mirror. Their eyes met in the glass. "I took care of that before I packed them."

Jack whirled her into his arms and kissed her hard. "I hope you packed the duct tape. The First Lady is gonna think I'm packing a baseball bat in my pocket."

"Will security let you in with a lethal weapon like that?" She plucked a tissue from the box on the dresser and wiped the lipstick off his mouth. When she reached into his pocket Jack's hands tightened on her arms. Her eyes glittered wickedly as she did a lot more groping than was necessary to find her lipstick.

"We're gonna miss dinner," he warned huskily.

She withdrew the lipstick and turned to face the mirror. She bent over further than was necessary and he couldn't take his eyes off her bottom. He caught her hips and stepped in tight against her. She flicked her eyes to his.

"Oops. Smeared it. Have to take it off and start again."

Jack's grip tightened on her hips. "Maddy, we have to go to this dinner. But if you don't finish that real quick, we're gonna be real late."

"Promise?" But she straightened and turned into his arms.

"If I kiss you again, you're gonna be repairing that lipstick in the nude."

She giggled and reached into his pocket to replace the tube of lipstick. He grabbed her wrist and withdrew her hand before she could make matters worse.

"What do I get if I reach for my lipstick on the dance floor?" she purred.

"Arrested with me for indecent public exposure at the White House." He grabbed her elbow and led her to the door.

The elevator was waiting and they had it to themselves. Jack ran the backs of his fingers over her face. "My God, you're beautiful, Maddy."

She blushed and lowered her lashes, but the adoring look in her eyes made him feel like he was walking on air. "Maybe I should start wearing makeup around the lodge."

"Huh-uh. As incredibly gorgeous as you are this minute, you are ten times more beautiful with no makeup, your hair down, your eyes sparkling..."

"Naked," she grumped.

He laughed and tilted her chin up. "Well, that too. I love you so much."

"I'll do anything for you, Jack, you know that. Even tonight."

"Especially tonight. I know how difficult this is for you, Babe. Thank you."

She shrugged. "I'll make you pay for it later."

"Tell me how?" he asked devilishly.

"Your jacket already isn't covering you up enough, Jack. Simmer down."

He backed her into the wall and pressed himself against her, enjoying the way her eyes widened.

"There's no time for another cold shower," she warned. She brushed her hand across the front of his pants and watched his eyes begin to smoulder. "But the sooner you get me outta there, the sooner..."

The elevator doors opened and Jack pushed the button to hold them without moving away from her. Maddy waited three heartbeats before she remove her hand. Jack slowly eased back, grasped her elbow, and led her into the lobby.

Heads turned and eyes followed them as the went through the doors and out to the waiting limo. Beautiful women and powerful men in dress uniforms were nothing new to Washington DC. But there was a aura surrounding this couple that sent shivers down the stiffest of spines.

General George Hammond watched as Jack O'Neill ushered his wife through the reception line.

'_She certainly cleans up nicely,'_ he thought, remembering the wild looking Madison that Jack had led through the stargate after their abduction. '_Jack can't take his eyes off her.'_

He ran his gaze over Jack's wife, trying to decipher what it was that made her stand out so vividly in this crowd of dazzling, beautiful women. She certainly didn't have the build of a sleek runway model; she filled out that dress in a way that made a man think about warmth and softness and comfort. There was a firm strength to her frame, defined muscle in her arms and shoulders, legs that looked well capable of riding a horse the way Jack bragged she could ride a horse. Nothing frail about Maddy O'Neill. He remembered Jack referring to her as a bobcat and he could well understand the sentiment. She had an air about her that warned if a man wasn't up for a challenge, he might as well tuck his tail and run. A woman well suited to weather the storm she had married.

He watched men and women alike pause to give the pair a second, longer look. Jack O'Neill had always been a commanding presence. In this setting, the man exuded danger and mystery, made a soul contemplate what dark and ominous world had spawned such an enigma. His eyes couldn't hide what life had done to him, and something in them hinted at what he had done to life. The few who dared to penetrate that formidable crust were shocked to find a generous nature, a kind heart, a goofy and irreverent sense of humor. The man could stare down the devil himself and crack jokes about heat and horns while he did it. Put Maddy by his side, with her steady eyes and aura of untamed spirit, and the pair seemed invincible. They were well suited, Jack and Maddy, two indomitable forces of nature who, together, brought thunder and lightning into a room with them.

Hammond shook off his fanciful thoughts and moved forward to greet them. They shook hands warmly, then he turned to Madison and took her hand.

"Nice to see you again, Mrs. O'Neill. Has Jack been treating you well?"

The adoring look she ran over her husband's face sent a tingle sweeping up Hammond's back and he smiled.

"He does fine, General Hammond," she murmured. "But he insists on trying to housebreak me."

George laughed, enjoying Jack's expression. "If your dance card isn't already filled, I'd appreciate the honor," he told her.

Maddy blushed and he saw her smile tremble just a bit. "Thank you," she managed.

A waiter paused beside them, offering glasses of champaign. Jack took two and handed one to Maddy. George saw her press against him and bit back a smile when Jack's arm sneaked around her waist. A trio of uniformed men with clusters of stars on their shoulders walked up and began a conversation. Hammond listened and responded, but couldn't tear his attention from the byplay between Jack and Maddy. She didn't say a word. Jack responded appropriately. But George had the definite impression that they were carrying on their own private discussion aside from the group. It was as if they were telepathic. They spoke silently with their eyes, their hands, barely perceptible expressions, exchanging volumes with just a glance. He watched Jack seem to absorb his wife's nervousness and exchange it for the confidence she well deserved to feel. A warm feeling settled over him, a stark contrast to the loneliness he felt at the same time. He would probably never be in love again, and he was certain no one on Earth had ever been as in love as these two.

The feeling abruptly made him homesick for the SGC. This pair must be wreaking havoc at the base. If they had this impact on him in this setting, what devilment must they be creating at home, among friends? Driving SG-1 crazy, without a doubt. And Landry. Hank was keeping him apprised of their antics and George sighed wistfully. If there were any way to spend his dwindling career as a part of the SGC again...

He saw Jack being expertly separated from Maddy even though he valiantly battled against it. Maddy looked lost, alone and somehow cold without having him close enough to touch. Jack kept eye contact with her, silently apologizing, quietly panicked at having abandoned her. Her steady gaze and patient smile reassured him that she understood. George wondered if anyone else saw what he saw, understood this exceptional bond between two exceptional people. He worked his way through the throng to Maddy's side, and her grateful smile made him feel quite gallant.

'_No wonder Jack can't take his eyes off her,'_ he thought. _'She has a way of smiling directly into your soul and making you feel like a hero.'_

"Mrs. O'Neill, your husband is quite in demand with this particular crowd. I hope you can find some patience with him."

"Is it that obvious how uncomfortable I am?" she asked.

"You're uncomfortable?" he responded. "The only thing that's obvious is how much you want to be close to him."

"Thank you for rescuing me from standing here alone. I don't know anybody."

He chuckled. "Count yourself lucky. Hank tells me you've done wonders with the commissary."

"I do enjoy it. If I could turn back the clock, I'd have found a way to be a part of... all that."

George nodded. "And a valuable asset, from what I've heard. How are the horses doing? I hear you're quite a tracker- and quite a marksman. Colonel Carter is still bragging about your lion hunt. It's high praise indeed, coming from a crack shot herself."

"I'm far more comfortable in the mountains or woods than I am here," she said dryly.

"Who would have guessed?" a velvety female voice interrupted.

George turned to see Jeanette Macy sizing up Jack's wife and his stomach tightened. The woman had chased Jack shamelessly. He glanced at Maddy. She was smiling politely, but there was a chord of dislike running between the two women that George could almost taste. He made the requisite introductions.

"So this is the infamous Mrs. Jack O'Neill," the platinum blonde purred. She ran a lazy eye over Maddy's form. "When are you due, Darling?"

The cutting implication instantly made George see red and he glared daggers at the woman.

"Jack mentioned you once," Maddy shot back sweetly. "I believe it was while he was gutting a walleye."

George tried not to swallow his tongue.

The blonde took a deep breath and tried to make her chest look as good as Maddy's. She didn't succeed.

"It's a pity you took him off the market. A marriage of convenience is so quaint, yet so _Washington_."

"Which is why Jack couldn't wait to shake this town's dust off his feet," Maddy said easily. "He told me about all the whiney, bitchy shrews who wouldn't leave him alone."

The woman's artificially too-blue eyes widened slightly. "Well, the man _is_ quite a ride, isn't he?" she gloated.

George nearly choked and he reached out to grasp Maddy's elbow to show his support. He couldn't imagine the Macy woman's point, unless it was to bait Madison into a making a scene. Or cause trouble for Jack at home. Then again, knowing her reputation, she just wanted to needle Madison where it would hurt the most. A rattlesnake couldn't control it's urge to strike. And this particular snake had bragged openly that she was close to putting Jack on a leash.

"And quite insatiable," Maddy returned softly. "I had to get a job in order to have eight hours rest every day."

Hammond watched the blonde's face and rather enjoyed her jealous fury. He saw Maddy looking over the woman's shoulder and followed her gaze. Jack was staring at her over the heads of the men gathered around him. Their eye contact was a palpable force. Jeanette pivoted to look, then turned back with a hateful sneer. Maddy flicked her eyes to the woman without moving her head then looked back at Jack. George wasn't sure what passed between husband and wife, but Maddy's smile was a bit pitying as she held the woman's gaze again.

"You'll have to excuse General Hammond and I," she said sweetly. "The President has requested a private audience with the three of us before we're seated for dinner. Be sure to say hello to Jack before we leave, Janet."

"_Jeanette_," the woman corrected, trying to give her name a French flair.

"Of course," Maddy said smoothly. She pressed George's hand against her side.

He took his cue to lead her away, leaning close to chuckle his glee.

"You certainly handled that with aplomb."

"I can feel the daggers she's staring into my back," Maddy responded. "What a bitch."

Hammond laughed. "I couldn't have put it better myself."

"Don't let go of me, General. Now would be the worst possible time for me to fall off these heels."

He gave her arm a reassuring press. "Madison, you could have arrived in bare feet and a house dress and still out-shone the rest of the females present."

"Jack needs to be more original when he plants prompts," she laughed. "He said nearly the same thing before we left the hotel."

"Because it's the truth."

"Well, thank you for the sentiment."

They were waylaid by another general and his wife, and spent a few moments exchanging pleasantries. But Jack and Maddy spent more time looking at each other than the people around them.

Jeanette Macy elbowed her way through the press of military brass and sidled up to Jack. Hammond felt Maddy stiffen, then relax again as Jack shot her an arrogant, faintly disgusted look. Maddy's eye closed briefly, slowly, in an alluring wink, then, to George's surprise, she turned her back to them. Hammond chuckled to himself. It was a blatent message to the Macy woman- and perhaps to Jack as well- that Maddy had complete trust in her husband and didn't see the woman as a threat worthy of surveillance.

The evening was turning out to be far more entertaining than he had anticipated.

A secret service agent appeared and leaned close to speak into Hammond's ear. He nodded, politely excused them, then guided Maddy along with him as he followed the man.

"What, I'm being kicked out already?" she murmured to him.

"You're headed for a private audience with the President."

Maddy gasped. "I was only pulling her chain!"

"Every fixture, and every other person, in this room is bugged, My Dear."

He felt the heat rise in her body. "Is this because I said...?"

"The President _has_ been anxious to meet you. He is in awe of your husband, Madison, and he insists on being kept fully briefed on Jack's... adventures. He's up to speed on everything that's happened since the two of you were abducted. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if he isn't backing your play with that distasteful woman."

"_Everything?_" Maddy gasped.

"As much as possible, in as much detail as is possible. He follows Jack's life the way some people follow a soap opera."

It felt to him like Maddy abruptly deflated and he glanced at her worriedly. "Are you alright?"

"I just need some air."

She paused to turn and locate Jack. He saw her press a finger to the bridge of her nose and close her eyes briefly. In the next instant Jack was at her side, caressing her cheek, running a light hand over her back.

"Thanks, George," he said without taking his eyes off his wife. "Our meeting with the President has been delayed. We'll meet you there in a few."

Hammond waved off the secret service agent as O'Neill guided his wife out into the Rose Garden. He shouldered his way to the door in time to see them disappear into the most dimly lit area. All he could see were their shadows. Two tall, dark entities slowly merging into one as O'Neill took his wife into his arms and kissed her. George leaned back against a pillar, feeling a bittersweet nostalgia. He watched them part slightly, saw her reach up and use her thumb to wipe over his mouth- probably trying to clear away a lipstick smear- saw him run his hand over her head. She laid her head against his shoulder and he bent his face to her hair. Hammond pushed off the pillar and went back inside. The agent approached him again and Hammond turned as Jack and Maddy came back inside. He thought they both looked more at ease, more content.

'_Like a couple of drug addicts,'_ he mused to himself. _'Just have to have that fix of each other.'_

They spent twenty minutes alone in the Oval Office with the President and First Lady. He seemed quite taken with Maddy, and she delighted both her husband and General Hammond with her quiet charm and candid response to his multitude of questions. George saw Jack draw the First Lady aside for a brief word and he wondered what Jack was up to.

Jack was seated on the opposite side of the table from Maddy, six places apart. George was on the same side as Maddy, close enough that he couldn't see her as easily as he could Jack. But he found he could tell when she was looking at Jack by the expression on his face. When she had her eyes on him O'Neill exuded confidence, talked her through everything with his eyes, reassured her that she was doing just fine. When she wasn't looking, though, there was such profound adoration on his face, pride, delight, desire, so intense he half expected Jack to crawl across the table and either curl up in her lap or have her between courses.

The Macy woman had managed to wrangle the seat next to Jack. George had no idea how she managed that feat- certainly either money or threats had been thrown around- but her efforts to distract him were met with stoic indifference. Maybe because he was paying such close attention to the pair, George thought he seemed to be the only one- besides Maddy- who noticed the way Jack had to keep brushing her hand off his leg. After the third time it happened, Hammond leaned forward to look at Maddy.

She was smiling around the rim of her glass, her eyes dancing as she silently used them to taunt her husband.

George sat back and toyed with his salad, pondering his impression of the pair. Jack didn't seem concerned in the least that Jeanette Macy's unwanted attention would affect Maddy. Most new husbands- and George considered a marriage of two years still new- would have felt compelled to reassure his wife, apologize, or at least excuse himself from any responsibility. Not Jack. He gave no indication whatsoever that Maddy should give the Macy woman any more consideration than that of an annoying fly. Classic Jack O'Neill; absolute confidence- in himself, in Maddy, in their relationship. Maddy showed no sign of jealousy, anger, worry, or frustration. George knew he was witnessing a union of complete trust and devotion, so solid that they could turn an ex lover's play for Jack into a joke they could share.

He was looking right at Jack during the third course when the intrepid general stared straight at his wife and deliberately licked both sides of his butter knife. George felt the stir along the table and chuckled to himself. Leave it to Jack to go out of his way to amuse his wife, or send her a signal, uncaring of the company or location.

When the First Lady followed suit a moment later there was an audible intake of air on both sides of him.

'_He set that up,' _Hammond mused. _'Wonder what Maddy owes him, because she surely lost a bet of some kind.'_

He tried and failed to lean forward enough to see her face. Too many people sitting forward, probably in reaction to the First Lady. _'People,'_ Hammond thought wryly. _'The majority of them never realize what herd animals they are.' _The next course came and dinner continued, but the undercurrent Jack had created didn't wane.

When dinner was over and they were ushered back into the ballroom, George watched Maddy settle into her husband's arms on the dance floor. They danced as if they had the place to themselves, and George had never seen Jack so preoccupied, so intensely focused.

'_It's no wonder,'_ he decided. _'The way she looks at him, the way she touches him, he must feel invincible.'_

He noticed others watching the couple, too, whispering, glancing, smiling.

'_Madison has set Washington on it's ear the way Hank said she set the SGC on it's ear.'_

He studied her anew, trying to put his finger on what it was about her that drew attention. She was pretty enough in a natural, unaffected way- but no raging, star-quality beauty. She had a nice build, but it was far from society's current definition of perfection. He decided it had more to do with the way she glowed, like there was an inner light that just couldn't be contained. A warmth you couldn't help but be drawn to, trust, want to experience. Jack deserved to bask in that aura. Lord knows the man had earned it many times over.

He saw the irritation that crossed Jack's face when another general cut in, saw that look deepen when Jeanette Macy oozed into his arms. Jack politely moved the clinging woman to an appropriate distance and his face was stern as he listened to what she was saying. George grinned when Jack maneuvered her close to Maddy, so that his arm was brushing his wife's as they danced with different partners. So their eyes could meet. So he could breathe in her scent. He was chasing her, wooing her, courting her even in this setting.

Hammond manuvered his partner for a better view, smiled and responded as she chattered, but his attention was on Jack O'Neill.

He watched Jack's gaze eat Maddy alive. When her back was to him his eyes would trail her length, linger on her legs, her hips, her hair. The sound of her voice seemed to soothe him, stroke something deep inside the man that gave him the look of a purring cat. George wondered if Jack realized how he inhaled when she was near, subconsciously gave in to the need to close his eyes for just an instant as he savored what her nearness did to him.

The President and First Lady both cut in, and the four of them danced and chatted for far longer than was the norm. Hammond glanced around for the Macy woman and saw her eyes drilling spite at the foursome.

Over the next two hours, nearly every male in attendance took a turn on the dance floor with Mrs. O'Neill. Jack hovered close by, keeping a wary eye on his prize and glowering silent warnings to proven lechers. Jack was ensnared by an adoring older woman when Hammond noticed Maddy beginning to look a little dazed. He moved forward and cut in. The woman came into his arms with a grateful sigh.

"_Thank you_!_'_ she breathed. "Is it almost over?"

"It'll go on for hours yet, but I suspect Jack is planning your escape as we speak." He studied her face, trying to decode the allure this woman held for a hard-bitten rogue like Jack. He caught himself becoming lost in her eyes, swimming through a soul filled with such calm assurance that he abruptly realized he was lacking it himself. He touched on something wild and primitive, yet there was a lure of all-consuming love and compassion that reached out to him. She had _something_ and she wasn't afraid to let it show. He was glad she was sharing it with Jack.

"Tell me straight, General. How often do these events come up?"

It took him a moment to shake off his poetic insights. "Too damned often for my taste," he grumbled. "But Jack won't be required to attend as many, now that he's retired his commission. His civilian position at the SGC will make it difficult to refuse occasionally, but they'll be few and far between."

"This is _torture_," she grimaced.

'_She would know,'_ he thought with a pang of sympathy. He tilted his head and studied her face. "All the glitz and glamor hasn't gotten to you?"

"Oh, it's gotten to me," she replied dryly. "It's gotten me a raging headache. My back hasn't been this sore since Taco dumped me in a pile of rocks, and my feet are threatening to go soak themselves without me."

"I'm certain if you say something to Jack he'll extract you post-haste."

Maddy shook her head. "I'll do this as long as he needs me to. Besides," she added with a heavy sigh, "I owe Jack asking the President for a second dance. I suppose the sooner I get it over with, the sooner he'll relent and take me away." She frowned prettily. "I don't know the protocol, General Hammond. Could you help me?"

"Only if you'll start calling me George."

Her smile melted his heart. No wonder Hank said Jack could refuse her nothing.

"I'll take care of it." He slowly danced her towards the President and managed to get his attention, then politely cut in on his dance with the First Lady. Maddy stepped forward.

"Mr. President, may I have one more dance?" she asked smoothly.

George glanced up to see Jack nearby, the man's face a study in devotion. He turned his attention back to the First Lady. Jack cut in a few moment later and George retired from the dance floor to find himself a drink. He appropriated a quiet corner to nurse his cocktail while he continued his surveillance of the O'Neills. He was very pleased with Jack's happiness. He had never seen the man so content, so completely involved. O'Neill had a sharp mind, and it took an awful lot to keep his attention. That distracted air mistakenly brought many people to the wrong conclusions about him, and it had taken Hammond many years and a lot of crises to figure him out.

Apparently it had taken Madison a lot less time to decode the complex simplicity of Jack O'Neill.

When Dr. Jackson had told him that they were two of a kind he had hit the nail on the head. Hammond always wondered what kind of woman could bring a lobo like Jack to heel, and apparently it was the kind who didn't feel the need. He thought about all Madison had been through since meeting O'Neill and it staggered the mind to think she had survived, let alone had the nerve to keep on loving him the way she did. And Jeanette Macy thought she had what it took to lock horns with Maddy O'Neill. George grunted at the thought. If that woman had half an inkling of the caliber of female she was trying to goad... He was still shaking his head when Maddy and Jack came up to him. Maddy's smile made him feel warm all over. He looked into her eyes, sought one more taste of that incredible essence that gave him such peace.

"George, thank you so much for babysitting me this evening." She took his hand in both of hers. "Please come spend a weekend at the lodge with us, and make it soon?"

"And bring your appetite," Jack added. He stuck out his hand and George shook it.

"You two making your escape?" he asked.

"Beating a hasty retreat," Jack grimaced. "Before the President kidnaps my wife."

Maddy blushed and Jack couldn't take his eyes off her. George wondered if they'd make it back to the motel before he ravished her. The couple walked away and Hammond's eyes followed them until they disappeared through the door. One thing stood out starkly in his mind:

Jack had been trembling when they shook hands. The way he was devouring his wife with his eyes, George understood the implication and his respect for Maddy rose another notch. It was impressive enough that she aroused a man to that degree. It was quite another when that man was Jack O'Neill.

**Chapter Four**

"Okay, Girls, here's what I had in mind," Maddy said to Sam and Vala. "Sam, you cover Teal'c. We know Jack will pass to Daniel. Vala, as soon as Jack has the ball, do whatever it takes to knock Daniel on his ass. I'll try for an interception. If I get it, Sam you jump on Teal'c back- that should slow him down enough for me to get a head start on Daniel. In the meantime, Vala, you get past Jack and as soon as he comes after me, I'll pass to you and you run for a touchdown."

"Sounds like a plan," Sam laughed. "Ready?"

"Ready."

The three women rose from their huddle and moved towards the men. Jack was tossing the ball into the air, contemplating his wife with narrowed eyes. They squared off facing each other and Daniel hiked the ball to Jack, then ran for a deep pass. Maddy faked a rush at Jack then turned and raced after Daniel. Vala calmly stuck out a leg and tripped Daniel, who was looking over his shoulder for the pass. He went down with a thud and a grunt. Maddy jumped over him, caught the football, ran in a half circle and headed straight for Jack. Teal'c had almost reached her when Sam jumped onto his back and hung on for dear life. Jack's jaw dropped for an instant, then he was after Maddy with a look of determination on his face.

They were headed full-tilt at each other, heads lowered, neither prepared to swerve.

Teal'c pulled up, unsure of what he should do with Colonel Carter glued to his back. Maddy put on the brakes, reared back, and sent a decent spiral over Jack's head and right into Vala's chest. Vala clutched the ball with both arms and scored without a problem.

Daniel rolled over and sat up, stunned. Teal'c looked at O'Neill uncertainly. Jack growled and tackled Maddy anyway.

"What the hell just happened?" Daniel yelled.

"We scored _again_," Sam taunted, raising a fist high in the air.

"I think Jack's about to score on his own," Daniel observed dryly as O'Neill mauled his wife.

Sam dropped down off Teal'c back and socked him playfully on the arm.

"I was not aware of that tactic, Colonel Carter," he told her with a confused look on his face. "I will have to ask O'Neill if it was a legal maneuver."

"No rules, remember, Teal'c?" Sam said gleefully. "Way to go!" she called to Vala, who was dancing around with the ball in the 'end zone'.

Daniel got up and looked ruefully at Jack and Maddy, who were either locked in a battle to the death or making love- with them it was hard to tell the difference. "There goes the rest of the game," he muttered.

Sam swatted at him. "Just how badly do you guys want to be beaten? I say it's time for a swim. Getting too hot for this."

"Apparently it's not too hot for _that_," Vala jerked a thumb at the O'Neills. "Wanna play, Daniel?"

He shot Sam a long-suffering look as the four of them headed for the lodge.

Later that evening the six of them sat on the deck, exhausted and stuffed. Maddy was sitting on the deck between Jack's knees with her head in his lap, he had his legs crossed over her. He took a long pull on his beer and looked at Carter.

"So what's the deal on that planet you've been fussing about?"

Sam took a deep breath and ran a hand through her wet hair. "It's really got me intrigued, General. There's something there- we just don't know what it is. Visual scans show us an area that appears to be enclosed by a force field of some sort, but none of our technology- or the Asgards'- will penetrate it. There's no stargate. The entire planet is covered by a dense, rainforest-type growth. No life signs whatsoever. The Ori skipped over it on their way through that solar system, so either there are no life forms inside that shield to draw the Ori..."

"Or whoever _is _inside it is safe from them," Daniel finished for her.

"Which makes that shield technology priceless," Vala added. "But we can't find out which it is."

"So put boots on the ground," Jack suggested.

"Well, Sir, that's the plan. But the entire planet is encased in some sort of... well, _shield_ isn't quite what it is. I can't figure it out. It's there, our sensors can penetrate it, but Asgard beaming technology can't penetrate it efficiently. The MALP made it down, but it re-materialized in a mangled lump. We suspect rings will work, but we don't want to chance getting the cargo transport close enough for that until we understand what we're dealing with. We certainly don't want to risk the Odyssey."

"Try a drone?" Jack asked.

"That's how we found out what happened to the MALP. We dropped the cargo ship down through the atmosphere- held position just above that weird field- and launched from there."

"You can't launch a drone from the Odyssey?" Maddy asked.

"It would burn up when it hit the atmosphere," Jack told her as he stroked his fingers over her head.

"The first UAV did a nose-dive straight into the surface. Once it cleared that field it was sucked right out of my control. We tried a second one, attempting to fly it horizontally through the field to see if we could gather information on what we were dealing with. Hull integrity wasn't compromised, but something played hell with the controls. I lost all sensors and the ability to maneuver. But, once it broke free on the planet side of the field, I regained all the controls and sensors. The cameras showed us what had happened to the MALP."

"Did the UAV penetrate the other shield? The one you wanna see inside of?" Maddy asked.

Daniel grunted as Sam said, "The UAV exploded."

"You crashed it, too?" Jack asked archly.

"No, Sir, didn't get the chance," she said a bit sourly. "When the UAV got to within a half mile of the shield, it just exploded."

"We don't know if it was an automated defense mechanism, or if someone inside the dome, shield- whatever it is- shot it down," Daniel explained.

"Whatever is being guarded in there," Vala ventured, "Must be quite valuable."

"Maybe it's just _life_ they're guarding," Daniel said dryly.

"Or maybe it's a priceless treasure."

Daniel groaned.

"What's the next step?" Maddy asked as Jack leisurely twined and untwined his fingers through her long, wet hair.

"Cam and I have been discussing using escape pods to get on the surface," Carter answered. "That way we don't risk losing a ship if we can't get if back off the planet."

"How the hell are you planning to get back off yourselves?" Jack growled.

"That's why we haven't gone down yet. There's that stargate and DHD we confiscated from the Lucian Rebels, but it belongs to the Jaf'fa on Coridan. Teal'c is negotiating for us. If we can buy it from the Jaf'fa, it would give us access to the surface, give us a way to get a MALP through- provided we can figure out how to get _it_ down on the surface."

"We've considered flying the cargo ship through the field at a shallow angle, but since the beaming technology won't work, there's no way to ensure we could retrieve the pilot before it crashed," Daniel told them.

"Mitchell is determined to take an F-302 down," Vala said.

"No way Landry will authorize that until we've determined he won't lose control and crash," Sam added. "But we're working on a way to control it by remote. If it survives the field both directions, then we may try a manned flight. Apparently there's a really strong electromagnetic disturbance of some sort that's interfering with control circuits, radio waves- anything electronic."

"And whatever the Asgard beaming technology is based on," Daniel added.

"But you were able to control the UAV once you got it past the field?" Maddy asked.

Sam bobbed her head around before she took a swallow of beer. "More or less. Right up until I got shot down."

"Radio waves, electronic signals, camera images will all penetrate the field from either side? It just seems to be running interference with the electronics while it's inside the field?" Maddy asked.

"Not entirely. We can get video feed but no audio. In-flight diagnostics and post-flight checks show the audio should be operational- it's like radio signals get trapped inside the field."

"But stuff is screwed up when you use the Asgard beam?"

"Right."

"Isn't the beaming technology based on reorganizing molecular structure? Has nothing to do with radio or electronic signals as we define them?"

Sam and Jack exchanged looks. "Basically," Sam said slowly.

Jack drew her face back so he could look down at her. "How do you know that?"

"Sam's been explaining stuff to me."

He shot Carter murderous look. She grinned and looked away.

"And a beam isn't usually affected by technology based on... well, like, electronically generated shields and such?"

Daniel shifted to stare at Maddy as Sam answered. "Unless it's set for a specific signal. We have the base scrambled to thwart Asgard beaming technology- that's why Thor contacts us to shut it off when he needs to beam in. We didn't have the specific signal code of that new technology the Lucians stole, so they were able to bypass our security."

"But a _gravity_ based shield could interfere with molecular reconstruction?"

"It could, I suppose..."

"What about a gravity well?" Maddy raised up and turned to look at Sam. "Wouldn't that sorta pull the molecules apart, or at least make them reform wrong? I mean, if the well was strong enough, wouldn't it sorta suck everything down instead of letting it... float around as it reforms? The heavier it gets as it reforms, the harder it would be pulled downward. Create a compression effect, like what happened to the MALP?"

Jack watched Carter's face as she stared at his wife, and he could see the wheels turning.

"Careful, Carter," he warned. "There's smoke coming outta your ears."

She blinked a couple times, raised her eyebrows, then made a face.

"Subquantum kinetics!" She gave Maddy an astonished look. "That could be it! If they figured out how to harness a gravity well at a subquantum level and refract it into the atmosphere as a shield..."

"Ahhhh!" Jack shouted. "It's the Forth of July, Carter! A _holiday_!"

"...then any particles sent into it using quantum physics theories as a basis for reconstruction would rematerialize in a disorganized- _compressed_- state."

Jack grasped Maddy's head and pulled her face back again so he could glare at her. "See what you did?"

"Sir, it's brilliant. It's the theory we think the Zero Point Modules might be based on. Maddy, I thought you said you didn't know anything about quantum physics?"

"I don't," she shrugged. "I stumbled onto a website about gravity wells one time- know how, when you do a search all this wild stuff comes up? I was researching how to dig a water well... Anyway, it was so interesting I spent a couple of hours reading about it, looking up more information. It was just a dumb idea, but when you said how the MALP went down in a lump..."

"Dumb on a par with Einstein," Daniel muttered.

"Why the hell would you want to dig your own well?" Jack asked Maddy. "Just call somebody in to do it for you."

She clicked her tongue at him. "That would take all the fun out of it! And I couldn't brag that I did it myself. They sell these drilling units for home wells. I've always wanted a real, working windmill."

"I was entirely focused on a type of_ electronically_ generated field," Sam muttered.

"Who is Einstein?" Vala asked. "Do you think Thor could help you figure out a beaming technology based on..."

"But where does the audio signal interference figure in?" Daniel asked. "A gravity well wouldn't..."

They were all talking at once.

"Daniel! Vala! Carter! _Holiday_!" Jack held up a finger in warning. "No!"

Maddy turned on him. "_You_ brought it up!"

"I just wanted to hear, 'Nothing for you to blow up yet.' Not a detailed theory on kinky subquarks. The next person who says one word about it is going _into_ _the_ _lake_!"

"Behave yourself, O'Neill, or I'll call General Hammond and _he'll_ settle your hash!"

Jack wound his hand in her hair and drew her head back again. "Yeah, _he's_ your hero now, isn't he?" he accused softly.

"You're my hero, Jack. George was just your wing man that night."

He studied her face for a long moment while the rest of them exchanged glances. Finally he said, "Alright. You got away with it this time."

"And if the rest of us wanna discuss subquantum kinetics, we'll friggin'..."

She didn't get to finish her threat. Jack hauled her up off the deck by the shoulders and, before she could do more than squeal, heaved her through the swim opening in the railing. He turned on the rest and a melee ensued. When the dust settled, only Jack and Teal'c remained on the deck amid scattered tables, chairs, bottles and plates. Teal'c, who had remained unmoving and untouched in his chair, canted O'Neill a sober look.

"Why do you not want them to discuss subquantum kinetics, O'Neill?"

Jack hesitated a moment, threw caution to the wind, and grabbed the big man's arm. Teal'c ignored his grasp, rose slowly, picked Jack up by his seat and collar, and heaved him far out into the lake. Sam,Vala, Daniel, and Maddy all looked up and marked his progress as he sailed over their heads. Jack tried to twist around and make a dive out of his momentum, but he ended up looking like he was swimming through the air until he splashed down.

Maddy was still snickering at Jack as they showered together and headed into the bedroom. When Maddy reached for her robe, Jack grabbed it out of her hands and pulled her against him. She ran her hands over his shoulders and kissed his neck.

"I'm gonna spend some time on the computer," she told him. "I'll come to bed in a little bit. Take a nap. I'll wake you when I'm done."

"What could possibly be on the internet that is more interesting than what your husband has on his mind?" He knew. He just wanted to hear her say it. He needed to fight tonight, needed a release that making love to her wouldn't satisfy. He knew it but he couldn't tamp it down. It had been building too long.

"Well when you put it like _that_..." She did it to him again. Kissed him and touched him and distracted him from the irritation that had been building over the past year.

Jack kept Maddy busy until very early in the morning, until she fell asleep in his arms from sheer exhaustion. He was equally as exhausted, probably more drained, but he couldn't sleep. Trying not to wake her, he slipped out of bed. Maddy's brindle Boxer, Bonnie, stretched out in his spot, her head on the pillow, enjoying the air from the ceiling fan. Jack shook his head- normally she would have made him smile but not tonight. Without bothering to dress, he got a beer from the fridge and went into the livingroom. Diamond, their palomino miniature horse filly- was stretched out on the couch like six week's wash, snoring softly. Jack sighed, and this time he couldn't help half a smile. The aquarium lights were still on, and Maddy's big oscar was cruising the front glass of the biggest tank, coaxing for food. He opened the lid, chose a large flake from the can, and held it just above the water. The fish jumped up and took the flake from his fingers. Leave it to Maddy to train a tropical fish like that. He fed the other two tanks of fish then walked out onto the deck and settled into a chair.

The night was stifling hot, sticky. Stars twinkled above and were reflected in the mirror-like surface of the lake. Nothing stirred, not even the air. No fish were jumping- they were staying deep where it was cooler. The oppressiveness did nothing to soothe his turmoil. He took a long pull on the bottle of beer, propped his heels on another chair, and burped loudly.

His Maddy. God, he loved her so much. More now than he had when he had gone to such great- and underhanded- lengths to get her. She had been furious, but she had forgiven him. Her ability to love, to give of herself, to please and delight him was an endless well. A vortex that drew him in deeper and deeper with each passing day. She was so worried that he would lose interest in her, that his desire for her would wane. She still didn't understand how crucial she was to his existence, how that need for her grew and expanded daily. She was bright, and funny, so ready to laugh and tease him. She kept him in a constant state of euphoria and he was addicted to her.

He couldn't get enough of her, in bed or out of it.

That was his problem.

He had to get past this need to unload on her. It wasn't her fault. His Maddy was so perfect in every way. It was almost like she could read his mind and anticipate his every desire, his every emotion, then, being Maddy, move Heaven and Hell to make it happen for him. He knew that love for him was what had helped her to battle past the fears and scars she had harbored when they first fell so hard for each other. Now it was his turn, and nobody could help him but Maddy.

But he could see no way to unburden himself without her automatically taking the blame. It was her instinct to protect him, protect their love, and she would feel awful. Worse, she'd feel trapped, smothered.

'_No, damnit, I've gotta get past this without letting her know.'_

When he heard the glass door slide he groaned inwardly. A moment later her hand smoothed down over his head and he closed his eyes.

"Too hot to sleep?" she asked quietly.

Jack sighed. "I tried not to wake you."

"I wasn't hearing you snore. Are you okay, Honey?"

Jack leaned back and stared up at her. "I love you so much, Maddy."

"Can I sit with you, or do you need to be alone?"

She knew. He should have known he couldn't hide anything from her.

"Stay with me."

She pulled up a chair, tucked her thin robe around herself and sat down.

"The sky is beautiful," she breathed. "And the lake..." She sighed contentedly.

Jack felt like a jerk. This is what he wanted; for her to be this happy, this content. He grimaced and lectured himself to keep his mouth shut.

"Isn't your butt sticking to that chair? Want me to get you a towel?"

He shook his head then took a swallow of beer and rifted.

"Something's bothering you, Hon. Talk to me?" she asked gently.

"Today was great," he said. "I still can't believe you three women kicked our asses with the football."

"Teal'c didn't know what to do when Sam jumped on his back," she laughed.

He grunted. It was as close to a laugh as he could muster. "He sure as hell knew what to do when I cleared the deck."

Maddy's laughter echoed across the lake and Jack loved the sound of it.

"You wanted to look up kinky quantum stuff, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Why is that bothering you so much?"

He took another drink as an excuse not to answer right away. "It tickles me when you out-Carter Carter."

"I really didn't. The minute I said it I wished I hadn't," she admitted ruefully. "It sounded stupid even to me."

"But it wasn't. You had the right idea. Watch Carter run with it now."

"Jack, remember when I tried to keep from talking to you, tried to keep stuff bottled up?"

He sighed. "I know, Babe. Come here."

"No."

"_No_? Whaddya mean, _'no'_?"

"If I come over there we won't get any talking done."

He grunted again and she sighed at him.

"I'd threaten to seduce it outta you, but we both know you'd have me a mindless, quivering mass before I got anywhere. That's your area of expertise, Handsome. Care to seduce it outta yourself and let me watch?"

Her suggestive overtone made him cant her a leer. "I'll take you wherever you wanna go, Babe," he offered softly.

She clicked her tongue at him, but he saw her shiver. He could have her hot and bothered with just a look, just the tone of his voice. Yet he had never seen her react to any other man, even involuntarily. His power over her was intoxicating. Jack took another deep breath.

"What would you say if I told you I wanna move?"

He saw her stiffen and he grimaced.

"Move? You mean, _move out_? As in, leave... me?" There was panic in her voice, instant pain, instant fear.

"Not a chance, Maddy, you know better than that! I mean us. Move away."

He watched her swallow hard and take a few quick, fast breaths. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Somewhere. Anywhere. Away from here."

"I thought you loved the lodge, the lake, the mountains... the horses and stuff."

"I do. We'll find another lake and pasture and barn. We'll take everything with us, Maddy. Just make this life _elsewhere_."

"Why, Jack? What's eating you?"

"I wanna quit the SGC."

"So quit."

"I will if you will."

"You want me to quit working at the commissary? Why?"

"So we can move away."

Maddy got up and walked over to him. She stood behind his chair and began working her fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp, drawing his head back against her to lightly rub his temples. Jack closed his eyes and started to relax.

"If I quit, would you stay there?"

He shrugged.

"Why don't you want me working at the base?"

He didn't answer.

"The SGC isn't the problem, is it? Stop beating around the bush and tell me what's been bugging you for how long now. I'll quit, you can quit, we can move... But not until I know _why._" She ran her hands down over his neck and onto his chest, stooping to kiss his ear. "I love you, Jack. I'll do anything you want- even sell the horses if that's the problem."

Jack groaned and drew her around in front of him. She sank to the deck and laid her head on his stomach.

"I'll move into a hundredth floor broom closet in Tokyo if you want me to. Whatever it takes," she promised.

Jack wanted to cry. He had finally done it. Finally pushed her to the point where she was willing to give up the most important thing in the world to her- the horses she had fought all her life, fought her father and her ex husband, to keep. He was not proud of himself. He owed her the truth now. There was no way around it.

"Aw, Maddy, it's not the horses! I never want to see you without all the horses you want. It's..." He sighed. "I'm jealous. I can't stand sharing you this way. I'm so f..." He stopped himself and winced.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "Have I...?"

"No. It's just that everybody likes you, wants to be around you, and I feel like they're crowding me out. I knew this would happen! I knew damned well I should have never let any of them near you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked levelly.

"Damn it Maddy, Carter got to be with you when you tracked that cat. Carter thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. Vala wants you to make a fortune on gemstones and she will get you that ship you want. Daniel is always teaching you stuff and drawing you into long, involved conversations and every damned time he gets it into his head to do _anything_ he wants to include you. Mitchell can't stop talking about the way you drive, and he's always got you involved in something to do with muscle cars. He's always pulling in the garage and luring you into tinkering on that damned Mustang with him. Landry is here _every freaking Sunday _for dinner, and it's all he can talk about until the next Sunday." He motioned in frustration. "From Monday to Wednesday, he goes on and on about how good dinner _was._ Then Thursday and Friday I have to hear how anxious he is to see what you make for _next_ Sunday! He keeps dragging you out into the mountains to look for some damned bird or other. He brings you books that you pore through... I never thought to buy you books on _birds_, Maddy!"

He was getting mad, and he paused to calm himself.

"Now, _now_, Hammond can't stop bragging about you to the entire friggin' Pentagon! I've got brass I've never met asking me how you are and what you've been up to. The President himself calls me personally at least once a month to see if you've done anything he would get a kick out of. Teal'c damn near took a lab tech's head off the other day because he had the nerve to complain that the eggs were cold. The only reason I went into the drink today was because he was getting back at me for throwing _you_ in! Every damned time I turn around somebody is jammed up your ass and I can't get close to you anymore. I have to wait in line to sneak a kiss in your office. I want to send suggestive emails and there's somebody reading them over your shoulder. When was the last time you only set two plates on the table? _Every_ _friggin'_ _day _one or more of them shows up in time to eat with us. I want to make love to you but there's always somebody interrupting..."

He felt her eyes searching his and he couldn't hold her gaze. He pulled her head back into his lap and stroked her hair.

"It's not anything you do, Babe. I know you don't ask them to be here all the time. I can tell it gets to you, too, but..." He snorted. "I thought I wanted this, wanted it this way. Maybe I will- eventually- but not yet. I can't get enough of being with you, being around you. I want all your attention and I resent every damned minute that they get and I don't. And the next damn time one of them rolls their eyes or groans when I nuzzle your neck or sneak a feel or kiss you, I swear, Maddy, I'm gonna knock 'em into next week!"

"You could sneak a feel now, Jack. There's nobody here that will mind." She guided his hand to her breast with a contented sigh. "I won't have any more cookouts for a while. We won't..."

"Maddy, today was great. That I didn't mind. Have a cookout or dinner party once a month. But when was the last time we spent an entire day _alone_? When was the last time I walked into your office and somebody wasn't already there chattering at you and making plans to take up _my_ time with you?"

"If Vala swings us that ship, we can spend weekends on Nirrti's planet."

He grunted. "We could just move there. Take the horses and everything..."

"I'll try to do better."

"_It's not you!_" he barked. "Well, it _is_ you, but not how you think! I knew if I told you this you'd try to shoulder the blame. You can't help it you're you, Babe," he said in an easier tone. "Didn't I tell you that you'd been in the wrong world all your life? That Daniel and Carter would become your best friends?"

"No fair," she complained. "You never give _me_ a chance to say 'I told you so'!"

"Like saying 'no' - you can say it, just not as often as I deserve to hear it."

"That's really what's been bothering you so much?"

"It's been getting worse and worse," he admitted. "It's to the point where I cringe every time I hear a vehicle coming up the lane, or the phone rings."

"What can we do about it? To be honest, it gets to me, too. I love all of them to death, but it's like..."

"Having the kids dropping in all the time?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," she laughed. "You love them and you don't wanna tell them 'no', _but_... Listen, Honey, the novelty will wear off. They'll get sick of all this before long and..."

"No, Maddy, they won't. Trust me, I know. Remember me telling you how I never had the time to develop a _life_? How I wanted to be neck-deep in the life you'd built for yourself? Well, that's what's happening with SG-1. You're fun and interesting and smart on a par with them, wonderful to be around. You offer them a life outside work that they haven't made for themselves. You're giving each of them something they want, need, and you handle all the maintenance while they're off saving the universe. They've become dependent on you for fun, food, relaxation- it's pissing me off."

"What do you want to do about it? You know, Jack," she caught his hand and began kissing his knuckles, "What I keep thinking is, they do such dangerous stuff all the time. If we do or say anything to hurt them the least little bit, and something happens... We'd never forgive ourselves."

"Northern California is nice. Or we could build on our property in Minnesota."

Maddy sighed. "Indian giver."

He knew she meant the lodge. He knew she didn't want to leave.

"I won't ask you to move," he sighed. "I know how much you love it here. I was just blowing off steam."

"Why'd you wait so long?"

He laughed shortly. "It kinda built up on me. I didn't know for sure why I was feeling so damned cranky, and it was getting worse. Then that day when Mitchell caught us making love in the lake because he wanted you to see his new rims, Maddy, I swear if I'd had a zat handy... Then Carter was with you when you tracked that cat. I wanted to be there. I wanted to watch you work. I wanted to see you take that shot."

"You were playing golf, Jack. You wouldn't have been there anyway."

He grimaced. "That's your 'I told you so' for the week."

Maddy laughed. "Short of moving to Timbuktu, we're just gonna have to come up with something. But please, can we not say anything to the 'kids'? I wouldn't hurt any of them for the world. They deserve whatever we can do to make their lives... pleasant. I feel sorta like we're the only ones who can pay a bill the entire population of Earth owes them."

"I know," he sighed. "I know."

"I'm glad you finally told me. I was starting to get scared."

"That's the _only _reason I brought it up. I know you're not doing anything to encourage them, but Maddy, you draw them like flies. I knew you would, but I didn't know it would drive me so _nuckin' futz_!"

"I'm sorry you're frustrated."

Jack sighed and lazily outlined her ear.

"It's awful hot tonight," she said at length.

"Yeah."

A moment later she said, "We have two whole days off."

"Yeah."

"You know Sam won't be able to stay outta her lab tomorrow..."

"Betcha she's there now. And she's gonna be calling you every ten minutes all weekend."

"Yeah."

There was another pause.

"Daniel will find some excuse to drop by for your coffee," Jack muttered.

"Yeah."

"Mitchell is due back tomorrow. He'll feel left out 'cause he missed today."

"Yeah," Maddy sighed. "He was gonna pick up a carb kit..."

Jack grunted. "And Hank will be back Sunday. In time for dinner."

"I'll pack us a couple days' worth of eats if you'll gather up blankets and pillows. Maybe a few toys..." she said.

Jack brightened. "Where should I put them? In the truck, or in the pack saddle?"

"In the raft."

He raised his eyebrows. "The waterfall?"

"Mmm hmm. Lots of shade, lots of water, lots of nothing else..."

"Can we take Bonnie?"

"Take Diamond if you can figure out how to keep her in the raft. We can slip sweat socks over her hooves."

"I'll hold her if you paddle."

"Oh, _that's_ fair! Put her in a stall with hay and water."

"She'll think she's being punished!" he complained.

"She'll talk the big horses' ears off. I'm tired, Jack. I'm willing to help_ you_ paddle."

"They'll track us down when they can't find us," he warned. "To make sure we're alright."

"Not if I leave a note on the door."

"I promise not to answer my phone."

"You'll leave the damned thing sitting on the table!" she informed him. "Sam has command until Landry gets back."

"Tape it to the door beside the note. They should get the hint. Do you _have_ to get dressed first?"

"Not if I can take my robe with me, just incase."

"Only if you leave it in the pack raft. I love seeing you naked in the moonlight."

"I'll sit on it, thank you. Bonnie's boots are in her drawer. They'll keep her toenails from puncturing the raft."

"Bonnie has a _drawer?_"

Maddy sniffed. "Of course she does! It's the one below my lingerie. You know where _that_ one is."

"Damn right. Can I pack a few items outta there, too?"

"Whatever will keep you interested, Big Boy. Maybe we should leave Hank a message on his machine. Save him the trip Sunday."

"Nope. We're setting a precedence. They're all gonna have to figure out the hard way that when we disappear, we don't wanna be found."

"Ummm, that could be a bad thing," she reminded. "What if we get abducted again or something."

"They can come looking for us if we don't leave a note on the door. The whole friggin' bunch of them should be smart enough to figure that out."

**Chapter Five**

Colonel Carter kept the UAV in a holding pattern around the spherical shield. She managed to work the controls and watch the visual screen at the same time. Behind her, Colonel Cam Mitchell was more impressed with her adroit ability than he was the sphere they were investigating. The entire bridge could tell he was itching to get his hands on that joystick.

"I don't think the shield technology around that sphere is the same as the gravity well field around the planet," she mused.

"Is that a shield around a sphere, or just a shield? Or just a sphere?" Mitchell asked. It just looked like an opaque whitish dome.

Sam glanced around and up at him. "Good question. It's hard to tell. It encompasses close to a thousand acres. Doubtful it's a single structure- probably more like an entire city."

"Strange that it's the only thing on the entire planet," Colonel Reynolds said as he came up to join them. "Whatever is down there, somebody wants to protect it."

"The gravity shield in the atmosphere is geared more to keep things in than out," Sam said. "The tests we've run indicates that if breached at a perpendicular angle, most anything can get through in one piece. Straight down, however, usually results in an uncontrolled drop."

"Because the distance from the field to the ground is too close?" Mitchell asked.

Sam bobbed her head. "More or less. If that field were around Earth you wouldn't notice it. It wouldn't interfere with how high commercial planes could fly, or, say parachuting. But a space shuttle could never reenter without crashing. It definitely stops audio transmissions in both directions, though I doubt that has anything to do with the refracted gravity well field."

"Somebody down there doesn't want to be contacted," Reynolds mused.

"Or doesn't want somebody contacting the outside world," Carter agreed.

"A penal colony?" Mitchell suggested.

Carter shrugged. "We need to be really careful."

"Will an F-302 come back up through that gravity well?"

"The UAV exits without any damage. The controls will go haywire inside that field, whichever direction you're going. I'm guessing that if you mark your trajectory then hold the stick steady, you'll shoot out the top and be able to regain control. Coming out won't be the problem, Cam- you've got nothing to hit for as long as you need. Going in will be the tricky direction- we have no way of knowing how long it'll take for the controls to become responsive again."

"If they come back online before I crash."

Sam nodded. "Hopefully, since you have to enter at such a shallow angle because of the field, you'll have enough room to glide until everything kicks back on."

"I'll go suit up." Mitchell was like a kid standing in line for a carnival ride.

"Don't jump the gun," Sam advised. "It's a potential possibility, but I still need to run specific tests..."

"Not this trip, Colonels," the captain advised them. "I just received orders to set course for Earth. General Landry needs the Odyssey to make an Atlantis run."

"I have absolutely no more information on that sphere now than I did before we left," Carter said disgustedly.

"So tell us what you know," Landry suggested.

The briefing room was darkened so SG-1, General Landry, and O'Neill could watch the video feedback collected by the drone.

"The sphere, shield, whatever it is, goes up nearly six thousand feet and has a circumference containing close to a thousand acres. I can detect no entrance, opening, or access panel anywhere. Whoever is inside apparently doesn't venture outside."

"Reminds me of that planet with the shrinking bio-dome," O'Neill said. "That kid's name was Evin, Devin..."

"Nevin," Daniel supplied. "P3X-289. Kendrick was Nevin's dad. Sam worked with Pallan to..."

"How do you _remember_ all that?" O'Neill made a face that went from impressed to disgusted to pitying. "You need to get a life, Daniel. Your _own_," he added under his breath.

Daniel shot him an impatient glance then ignored him. "Is this the same technology, Sam?"

She shrugged. "Hard to tell. Same concept, though."

"Maybe it is the reverse," Teal'c suggested. "Perhaps the shielded dome was constructed to keep something dangerous inside."

"But the entire planet is uninhabited," Carter reasoned. "If there's nobody to be protected, why bother to contain whatever it is?"

"Any biologicals at all?" Landry asked. "A rainforest habitat like that surely would have evolved life forms of some type."

"Nothing we could come up with, Sir." Sam changed the video to shots of the forested surface. "We haven't seen birds, animals, anything. It is possible that the UAV sensors just aren't picking them up. That is the thickest growth I've ever seen, especially the canopy. As far as the UAV is concerned, it's impenetrable."

"Unless something inside that sphere ate everything else before somebody managed to corral it," Jack muttered.

Carter and Teal'c smiled patiently.

Daniel shot Jack a sidelong glance.

Mitchell looked startled.

Vala tapped a finger at him and nodded her agreement.

"That's all you've got?" Landry asked skeptically.

Jack watched the terrain move across the screen, broken only by high, barren buttes that jutted through the trees. There were intermittent views of streams cutting winding courses through the forest.

"Those streams have to drain somewhere," he muttered more to himself than anyone in particular.

"There are two major bodies of water," Sam answered his statement, moving the video ahead to show two different oceans. "Neither are salt water."

"Maybe we should just give it up," O'Neill said.

"If there's even a _remote_ possibility of that shield technology protecting inhabitants from the Ori, I want to know what it is and how to reproduce it," Landry said firmly. "What are the chances of there being a stargate inside that dome?"

Carter grimaced. "We've tried uploading the planet's coordinates into the dialing computer, Sir, but we're coming up with nothing."

"Nothing, as in no answer it's not there, or nothing as in it's there but it's locked out?" Landry asked.

She looked a bit uncomfortable. "There are distinctive responses to both scenarios, Sir, but the responses we're getting are neither. _If_ there's a stargate inside, my best guess is that it's off-line or defective."

"I still say a 302 will get the job done," Mitchell said hopefully.

Carter nodded. "We just have to make sure the angle of penetration is shallow enough. Otherwise..."

"The 302s only hold two people," O'Neill said. "If you run into trouble, there's no backup."

"Let Sam and me do a fly-over," Mitchell requested. "We won't land- just do a quick tour of the place and see what human eyes can tell us that interference might be hiding from the UAV."

**Chapter Six**

'_I must have done something right in my past life,' _Jack thought as Maddy massaged his back, _'Because I sure as hell haven't done enough right in this one to deserve her.'_

He had come home from work, taken a shower, and stretched out naked on the bed under the ceiling fan. It was too damned hot to do anything else, and he wondered where Maddy could be, what she was up to in this heat. He had fallen asleep and woke up to this.

His Maddy could give massages that put high-dollar spas to shame.

When she began mingling kisses and little nips with the massage, Jack sighed. His body had responded instantly the moment she touched him, but now she was building a fire there was only one hope of putting out. She was so easy to love, so easy to please and anxious to please in return. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the delightful sensation she was creating along his skin, the butterflies she awakened low in his stomach. He loved the way her hair tickled his back, the strength of her legs gripping his hips and he wished she'd undress so that he could feel more of her against his naked flesh. As if reading his mind she paused, and when she stretched out along his length again the feel of her bare breasts against his back built a tension in his groin that was becoming hard to deny. Her nipples teased and pressed and prodded until he fairly ached to taste them. He anticipated the way her breasts would harden in his touch, the way her nipples would rise and fill the demands of his tongue.

"Don't stop there," he encouraged roughly.

He thought he felt her smile against his back. She took one more gentle bite then turned over so that she was laying back-to-back on top of him as she wiggled and squirmed out of her shorts. Her hair was a soft, silky blanket cascading over his back, her weight a sensuous delight. When her bare bottom settled on his Jack curled his fists in the pillow, determined to prolong the exquisite agony as long as possible. She slid up until her head dropped over his shoulder and she could kiss his ear.

"So, you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"she breathed as she slowly tormented him out of his mind. She planted her feet on either side of legs and teased his lower back with her bottom.

He groaned in response to her question, irritated that she brought to mind what he had finally pushed aside.

"Brain scrambled," he grunted. "Want woman."

She humphed into his ear and rolled away. "If any woman will do I'll get you the phone book."

Jack growled, dragged her underneath him, and took her all at once. Maddy's eyes went incredibly wide as she gasped and shuddered. Her fingers curled into his shoulders, breasts straining against his chest as her body arched helplessly in reaction to the abrupt shock.

"Still want to interrogate me?" he demanded.

He loved that she couldn't catch her breath, that he could drive all conscious thought from her mind. That she was fast returning the favor for him. He buried his hands in her hair, buried his tongue in her mouth, and when her legs twined over his nothing in the world could distract him from the woman he loved more than life itself.

The ringing of the phone eventually penetrated Jack's slumbering brain. He blinked awake and held his wrist close to his eyes to peer groggily at his watch. Eight-thirty. He glanced at the window. PM. The phone hadn't disturbed Maddy and he grinned over the reason for her deep sleep. He rolled cross-ways over her back in order to reach the phone and felt her shift under him.

"O'Neill."

"Jack," General Landry's voice drove some of the numbness from his brain. "SG-1 is preparing to leave on that recon mission we discussed this afternoon. I realize this is short notice, but I'd appreciate it if you joined them."

Jack cursed softly. "What's up, Hank?"

Landry took a moment before he answered. "Teal'c and Carter are flying the mission. Colonel Reynolds is leading three teams to confront a prior who is trying to convert another planet- Mitchell and Dr. Jackson are going with him. That leaves Vala as back up for Teal'c and Carter. Jack, I just have a feeling about this one. I'd feel better if you were aboard the Odyssey to watch their six."

"When are they leaving?" Jack asked, trying to stifle a sigh. Maddy's hand crept along his leg.

"The Odyssey is due back in orbit at twenty-two hundred. Take about two hours to resupply and change crews. I want to send them out ASAP- not tie up the Odyssey any longer than we have to on this. I'm stretching our resources pretty thin to check this out."

"I'll be there in an hour, Hank." Maddy's fingernails lightly raked over his thigh. "Make that two hours."

"I appreciate it, Jack. Give Maddy my regards."

"Yeahsureyoubetcha." Jack flipped the phone closed and groaned.

"Trouble?" Maddy asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.

"Yeah," he moved around and nuzzled her neck. "Yours."

She giggled. "I meant the phone call. Let me turn over, Jack, and I'll make that worth your while."

He let her turn then pinned her snugly and brushed the hair back from her face. "I'm shipping out with Teal'c and Carter about midnight."

She shifted and frowned. "What's going on?"

"They're gonna take an F-302 through that gravity well shield and do recon. Mitchell and Daniel are going with Reynolds on another mission. Hank wants me aboard the Odyssey just incase."

"You don't know how long you'll be gone." It wasn't a question.

Jack studied her face. He wanted to etch it across his mind because even a day away from her was too long. He wanted to see her just like this every time he closed his eyes for the next couple of days. "No, Babe, but Landry doesn't want to tie up the Odyssey so it won't be too long."

"Will you be able to sleep on board?" she asked.

He grimaced. "I never sleep well on a ship."

Her smile was devilish. "I _meant_ will you have a chance to sleep? 'Cause I intend to make you _able_ to sleep."

He kissed her hard. "I'll make time if you make me tired enough."

"Then gimme enough to last me until you get back"

"Gorgeous, I'm gonna give you enough to make you _sleep_ 'till I get back."

She rocked her hips into his and nipped at his lower lip. "Better get busy then-we only have two hours."

"I told him I'd be there in two hours."

"I'll have you there twice before then," she promised. "_After_ you tell me what's on your mind."

"You want me to talk dirty to you?"

"I want you to tell me why you've been edgy again. Is it still the kids?"

Jack sighed, propped his chin on his hands, and stared into her eyes. "I'm just so damned worried I'll come home and find you busted up or laying somewhere with a broken neck. You take so many chances, Babe. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. Or having to live without you."

"Imagine, my having gone through half my life without you there to watch over me," she teased softly.

"Mitchell, Vala, and Daniel have been discussing bungee jumping. Please don't go with. Or, if you just have to, wait until I'm there?"

She frowned. "Nobody said anything to me about it."

"They've been too busy. It's just in the talking stages. Don't. Please."

She shrugged. "Okay. Not something I need to do before I die."

"Carter and Mitchell have been talking about you getting a motorcycle to go riding with them."

"I can't?" she asked carefully.

He hesitated. "I won't tell you you can't. I'm asking you not to."

"Why?"

"Maddy, I know you. You won't be satisfied until you've tasted road rash. You love speed, you love to push the envelope. It's bad enough you do it on a horse, but at least Taco has sense enough to put on his own brakes."

"I won't ask for a motorcycle if you'll buy us snowmobiles," she purred.

"Deal," he said instantly, hoping he wouldn't regret it.

"That was so easy, is it too late to throw in jet skis?"

"No," he laughed at her, "I'll throw in jet skis if it'll keep you off a motorcycle."

She started rocking her hips again. "What else? Tell me quick, before I have you distracted."

"You already have me distracted."

"Not enough." Her hands were working up and down his back.

"Do you understand how terrified I am that you'll get seriously hurt, or kill yourself?" He kissed her neck, buying himself a moment. When he continued, it was to whisper raggedly, "My entire life revolves around you. Nothing is worth anything without you. You're so precious and vital to me- can you understand that my biggest fear is you dying before I do? I couldn't handle that, Maddy. I couldn't survive it."

Her hands stilled. "I know. I have the same fear about you."

He took a steadying breath and raised up to look at her.

"Then stay off that barn roof."

She clicked her tongue at him. "I had to fix that spot..."

He shook his head. "Hire somebody. Or let me do it."

"So you can fall and..."

"Better me than you!"

"Jack, I've been on a barn roof when there was nobody around who knew, let alone cared. This isn't my first rodeo, Honey."

"At least wait until I'm home."

"You gonna catch me if I fall?" she teased.

"At least I can call an ambulance."

"I promise, Jack. I won't do anything, get into anything, that you have to worry about while you're off world. I'll give the tractor a tune-up, and work on that data Daniel asked me to input into his computer. I can do it from here and transfer the files..."

Jack stopped her with a kiss. She pried his head up.

"I do have a request," she murmured shyly.

Intrigued, he studied her face.

"When you're training those new recruits," she began carefully. "Can I play sometime? Be a bad guy or something?"

He stared at her. "Maddy, those intars _hurt_. The scenarios we stage are rough. We don't pull any punches."

She shrugged. "I've always wanted to go to one of those paint ball ranges. This would be so much more..."

"Painful," he growled.

"Well, I didn't think it would be something the kids would enjoy, seeing as they do it for real way too much."

"I'll buy us paint ball guns, chase you around the woods and shoot your ass off until you cry uncle. But no training sessions."

"Yes, Dear," she sighed. "Can I ask one more favor?"

"What?" he asked warily.

"Kiss me and make me shut up so I can have you there twice before you have to leave?"

**Chapter Seven**

Jack stood behind the tech who was monitoring Carter's feedback and tried to concentrate on the continuous flow of techno-babble. He glanced at his watch and wondered what Maddy was up to. She'd be home from work by now, probably showering. He stuck his hands in his pockets and stole a glance downward to make sure his shirttails were covering... enough.

Vala used her feet and hands to make the seat she was in spin in circles. Jack ignored her, but the rest of the crew were becoming irritated.

"Carter, how much longer?"

"We haven't even broken through the field yet, Sir," she responded.

"Remember what happened when the drone got too close to that sphere," he warned.

"Yes, Sir. Teal'c, take us in."

Three-hundred and sixty degree surveillance cameras rigged all over the F-302 flickered and went to snow on the monitors. Jack paced the bridge until the cameras came back online. The initial images were of the densely packed forest coming at them way too fast. Then the F-302 rose, banked, and they could see the white dome in the distance.

"They've regained control," the tech said in a relieved tone.

As the dome neared, it looked to Jack like a white soap bubble. No breaks, no lines, no movement. The F-302 pulled up at a steep angle as Teal'c attempted to punch back through the gravity field. Jack watched the ground drop away at a dizzying speed, then begin to spiral and close again.

"They bounced off it!" Vala said nervously.

The bridge crew held a collective breath until the F-302 steadied and Teal'c was able to skim the tops of the trees instead of crash into them.

"I knew he'd do it," Jack said with bravado he wasn't feeling.

The F-302 rose for another attempt. The cameras went haywire again. There was a lot of static, then Carter's transmission came in fits and starts. "...Sir. We're going to... again. No... to the... Try a more shallow... Teal'c. Stand... attempt, Odyssey."

Jack grimaced and balled his hands into fists. Vala stilled and watched alertly. This time the F-302 made a clean break from the field.

"We just hit it at too steep an angle, Sir," Carter informed him. "Teal'c, take us back in and we'll set down by the sphere."

Jack shook his head and frowned. This didn't feel right. "Be careful," he ordered.

"Yes, Sir."

The F-302 neatly sliced through the field and Teal'c did a sweep around the dome. On the monitor, Jack watched a jagged white line like lightning streak out from the dome directly into the camera lens. The monitors went blank.

"Damn it!" Jack slammed the heel of his hand against the back of the tech's seat and pivoted. "Get that cargo ship down there! Launch the UAV as soon as you're close enough. _Now!_ And get another F-302 ready to go!"

It took twenty minutes to get the unmanned surveillance plane into the planet's atmosphere. The tech circled it past the sphere and the wreckage of the F-302 came into view. It was resting in the trees near the dome with seemingly minor physical damage. Carter and Teal'c were standing in a small clearing not far from the dome, waving their arms over their heads. A moment later the camera went dead.

"What happened?" O'Neill barked.

The tech rapidly punched keys and worked the joystick. "I've got nothing, Sir."

"Whatever shot down the F-302 must have disabled it as well," Vala stated the obvious. "How are we going to get them back off the surface?"

Jack winced and swore. "Get an escape pod ready," he commanded. "Fill it with supplies, survival equipment, radio batteries, weapons, and a med kit. Cram it full. I want to see a list before it's sealed."

"Wonder why the defense system took so long to activate?" Vala asked of no one in particular.

"Well it's active now," Jack growled. He pivoted. "I want that 302 ready to go in ten minutes. Contact Landry- let me know when you've got him."

"Is it wise to strand another pilot, not to mention lose another craft down there?" Vala asked carefully.

Jack shot her a murderous look.

"I have General Landry, Sir," the communications tech announced.

Jack slammed into the seat and picked up the headset. He gave Landry a full report.

"I'm going to take a 302 in through the field on the opposite side of the planet, Hank. If I can get in and out without any problems, when we launch the escape pod of supplies I'll include instructions for them to start walking. With any luck we can pick them up far enough away from that sphere to keep from getting zapped."

"Be careful, Jack," Landry told him. "I want a report within the hour."

"The F-302 is ready, Sir," the Odyssey's captain told him.

"Take us to the opposite side of the planet, Captain. Let me know when we get there. Have the cargo ship hold it's position." Jack rose and headed for the launch bay. Vala rose with him.

"I'm coming with you."

Jack turned and pointed to the chair she had just vacated. "I'm going alone. If I go down, there'll be one less to worry about. Oversee the supplies going into that pod. Don't leave anything out."

Jack nosed the F-302 through the field at a shallow angle and burst into the planet's atmosphere. He tried to contact the Odyssey, but got no response from them.

"General?" Carter's voice sounded breathless.

"You and Teal'c alright?" he demanded.

"Yes, Sir, we're fine. Do not transmit, General!" she warned. "Be advised, there are humongous spider things that are attracted to any signal whatsoever! We're removing our tracking devices now- it's leading them to us! Stand by!"

Jack swore and angled the craft towards their location. He punched it, but knew it would still take hours to reach their location. An hour into the flight Carter tried again.

"Sir, are you still there?"

"Here, Carter. I'm headed your way."

"Don't bother, Sir," she replied. "We don't know the range of that defense mechanism. Do not attempt a hyper-space burst. I'll bring you within range of that defense mechanism."

"I'm coming in from the opposite side of the planet. I didn't get zapped."

"Yes, Sir..." There was a long pause. Jack resisted the urge to call for her. It was nearly another hour before she responded. "General O'Neill?"

"Here, Carter."

"These creatures are drawn by any sort of electronic signal. They're all over the F-302. Teal'c and I will make our way as far as we can from the sphere. Send somebody back for us in about a week."

"A _week_?"

"Yes, Sir. No where to set an F-302 down in this forest. The only clearing we've seen is right up against the sphere and we know it's within range of the defense mechanism. Hopefully, Sir, if those creatures are drawn to electrical signals they'll hang around that sphere. With any luck, the farther away we get, the less of them there'll be. We'll need supplies."

"I have a pod ready to send down. Can you get back to the 302?" He heard frantic gunfire and the singing of a zat. He waited nervously.

"Yes, Sir. Drop it as close to the 302 as possible."

"I'll have another dropped on this side for when you get over here."

"We'll never find it, Sir. We can't use any sort of electronic tracking devices."

"Intermittently?"

"It'll still draw them, Sir. Our tracking implants drew them."

"Listen, Carter, work your way to the shore of that ocean directly west of you and follow it north. We'll try to land the pod on the beach. That'll cut down on your search area. It'll probably add another week to your travel, though."

"Be worth it, Sir, to have some way of pinpointing a pick up location." There was more gunfire and O'Neill waited helplessly, impatiently, until she contacted him again. "What we need are balloons, Sir. If we put one up every day, it'll give a visual to help locate us."

"Are there any onboard the Odyssey?"

"Doubtful, Sir."

"That helps. What else do you want in that first pod?"

There was a long silence. "Rope. Tools to remove the lid of the pod so we can make a slide for the supplies."

"It looks awful rough down there, Carter. You might not be able to drag a slide."

"As far as we can get it will be more supplies than we can carry. Backpacks would help."

O'Neill made a face. "I'll throw in a deck of cards."

"Thank you, Sir." He thought she sounded sarcastic. When she sent a brief carrier he kept silent until she contacted him again.

"Okay, Sir. Anything else?"

"What about the cargo ship? Can we ring you aboard?"

"Don't chance it, Sir. It's not as aerodynamically efficient as the F-302. I'm not certain it could penetrate that gravity shield without being sucked down. The F-302 barely made it in one piece."

"Yeah, felt like I was trying to fly a concrete slab. Those creatures. Do they attack on sight?"

"Yes, Sir. They eat zat blasts like candy. Bullets drive them back, but takes damn near a full clip to put a big one down. They have to be awful close to actually see us, but they're drawn by any signal at all. They seem to be a cross breed of organic creatures and some sort of technology."

"_Replicators_?" Jack bellowed.

"No, Sir. Not even close. They're definitely alive, and they stink to high heaven. But parts of their bodies are integrated with a metallic-organic alloy. The only places vulnerable to bullets are the eyes and thorax." She signaled for silence.

Jack studied the forest canopy below, looking for any size clearing. He located a stream and followed its course, but couldn't find a spot wide enough to hover over.

"Still with us, Sir?"

"Here, Carter."

"We're sitting in a tree at the moment. They can't see this far up, but every time we use the radio they come back."

"Can they climb?"

"They climbed up to the F-302."

"How many are there?"

"Hoards."

"How big are they?"

"Most of them are the size of your truck. Now the ground is covered by little ones..." She sent another carrier.

Jack saw the ocean ahead, and a bit later was able to bank south and fly along the shoreline. So far all he could see were cliffs. He swore softly.

"Still there, Sir?"

"I'm here. Carter, if they're that damned big, why didn't we see them during recon?"

"I think they came out of the sphere, Sir. I can see an opening in the side from up here. It's possible all the electronic disturbance we've been creating either triggered a door of some sort, or they just got excited enough to break out. ...Uh, the little ones can definitely climb."

"Lovely. When we launch the pod, we'll launch a drone at the same time. Wait for it to reach you- we'll use it to draw them away so you can set up your slide and get moving."

"Thanks, Sir. Keep it well away from that sphere."

"Anything else?"

"Not that I can... _Holy Hannah!_"

"What, Carter? _What_?" Her tone worried him. Carter didn't rattle, but whatever she had seen had definitely rattled her.

"They must have been in some sort of stasis," she breathed in awe. "Sir, the ones coming out now... are stepping over where the walls of the dome collapsed!" She indicated radio silence and O'Neill complied immediately. It was a long time before his radio crackled again.

"Sir, one of them just picked up the F-302 and carried it off."

"What can I do, Carter?"

"Get those supplies down to us so we can get moving. Away from here. Can't be too soon, Sir."

"I'll come back and make sure you get on your way."

"Okay, Sir. Keep in mind that your exit angle can't be too shallow. Coming in drags you down. Going out you tend to bounce off that field. We don't need you stranded here, too. Carter out."

Jack took the F-302 into a climb, leveled off, then broke through the field and headed for the Odyssey.

**Chapter Eight**

Maddy rubbed Jack's shoulders soothingly and dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

"They'll be alright, Honey. Sam's smart and Teal'c is awesome. You sent them everything they could possibly need to survive."

"I know."

"Doesn't help, though, does it? You wanna beer?"

"I want to go back and make sure they're doing alright."

"When will the Odyssey be back from Atlantis?"

"Another nine days." He sighed. Maddy rubbed his temples.

"What about that Gou'ald ship at Area 51?"

"The Al'Kesh? It's on Atlantis at the moment. McKay appropriated it for some damned reason. Probably wouldn't do us any more good than the cargo transport." He grasped her wrist and drew her around to sit on the couch with him. He needed her in his arms, needed to hold her. Maddy curled around him and hugged him tightly. Jack laid his face against her neck. A moment later when he felt her jerk slightly and stiffen, he raised up to peer into her face. She immediately wiped her expression clean.

"What was that?" he asked.

Nothing. Come here," she said, drawing his head back and stroking his hair.

But she was oddly distracted and trying to hide it. Several times over the next few days he caught her wincing abruptly. Finally he sat her down, braced his arms on either side of her, and trapped her eyes.

"Maddy, what's wrong? Where is that pain you're having?"

She shook her head. "It's nothing, Jack. Just a headache. I'm worried about Sam and Teal'c."

"It's no headache, Madison. Tell me."

She closed her eyes. "Jack, let's just concentrate on Sam and..."

"Either you tell me what's going on, or I'm gonna bodily carry you into Lam's office and have you checked out!"

She clicked her tongue. "I get flashes of headaches, that's all."

"Any problem with your memory?" It had been a long time since she lost her memory after the brutal attack by the Lucian disguised as Aris Boch, but once she regained it there hadn't been any residual problems. Other than occasional nightmares.

"I'm... not sure."

"_Not sure_?"

She lifted a shoulder and her eyes slid away. "Let it go, Jack."

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Talk!"

She sighed. "I've lost some... time. While you were gone. I can't remember..." She looked up at him imploringly. "It can wait until they're back safe."

"Oh, no it can't. When did this happen?"

"The day after you left. That morning I was changing the oil in the tractor. Sitting on a crate. I had just taken out the plug. Then... I was still sitting there, but the oil had all drained out and it was getting dark." She blinked. "I had no idea where the day went."

"Maybe you blacked out."

"I would have fallen off the crate. It was like I blinked and the day had passed. Only..." she grimaced and gave him a tortured look. "Jack, when I came inside, two days had passed."

"_What!_ Why didn't you tell me? Did you call Lam?"

She shook her head. "I don't wanna go through all those bastard evaluations again, Jack! I won't! You know how I despise being handled by a bunch of strangers."

He grimaced. "Okay, what about these headaches?"

"I just get a stab in my head. Right here." She pointed to the very top of her head, dead center. "The flashes of pain aren't what worry me. Jack, I... have this feeling of heat. Like there's a hot BB stuck in my head."

He straightened and looked at the top of her head, parting her hair and probing with his fingers. He could find nothing. He grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the chair, then headed her for the door.

"What...?"

He rounded on her. "Don't fight me, Maddy. So help me, if you do I'll knock you out and carry you. You are going to the infirmary to be checked out."

"Aww, Jack! It's just worry. I'm fine, damn it!"

"Let Lam tell me that."

Maddy went with him, but she sat in a sullen silence all the way to the base and childishly refused to help Jack relate her symptoms to the doctor. When Dr. Lam ordered a full series of blood work, Xrays, an MRI, CT and PET scans, Maddy was furious with him. The only time he had seen her this angry was when she had found out he owned the lodge she thought she was buying. He sat down and took her hand.

"They're just checking you out. I don't want anything to happen to you."

She refused to look at him.

"Don't be mad at me, Gorgeous."

She looked over his shoulder. "I can't do an MRI, Doctor. I'm claustrophobic."

"I'm quite aware of your claustrophobia, Madison. We have an open unit."

She pulled her hand away from Jack's with an irritated click of her tongue. "Do you have any idea how much I despise being poked and prodded and questioned and..." She ended with a frustrated shudder.

"I _do_ know, Babe. I was there for all of it, remember?"

The look she gave him drove him back in his chair. "That wasn't a shot at your amnesia," he apologized.

"Go away, Jack."

"No."

Maddy stood up and walked towards the door. Jack let her go, thinking she needed to walk off her nervousness. When she didn't return, he got up and looked down the hallway. Maddy was just stepping onto the elevator.

"_Maddy!"_

She didn't look at him. Jack raced for the elevators and tried to get his hand in the doors. He was too late and he smacked them with both hands, then punched the button. He turned a full circle and stabbed the button half a dozen times. When the doors finally opened, Maddy was still standing there. She stuck out her hand.

"Gimme the keys."

Jack stood in the opening so the doors couldn't close. "It's just a few tests. Humor me."

"Oh, I'll humor you alright," she hissed. "Just figure on staying here for a few days, Jack. Make it a week."

He couldn't believe his ears. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You heard me! You know how I feel about being manipulated!"

"I'm not _manipulating_ you!" he yelled. "I'm just..."

Two people came towards the elevator and Jack bit back his anger. "They need the elevator, Maddy. Step off."

"Back off, Jack." She pressed against the wall and stood as if she were rooted. Jack stepped on with her. The other two hesitated, then stepped on warily. The four of them rode to the eleventh floor. When Maddy started to follow the other two off, Jack threw an arm across her stomach and held her inside. He punched the button and the elevator began to go down again.

Jack found himself standing outside the infirmary.

He spun around and shook his head in confusion. Maddy was nowhere to be seen.

The elevators opened and he saw her step off.

"Jack..."

He started towards her, then broke into a sprint when she started to collapse. He didn't make it in time to catch her and swore when he heard her head smack the floor.

_"Doc!'"_ he roared. _"**Doc!**"_

Further down the corridor an SF turned, saw Maddy and Jack on the floor, and hurried towards them. Jack waved him towards the infirmary.

"Get a litter!"

Dr. Lam stepped into the hall, took one look, and whirled. "Get a gurney out here, stat!"

It was nearly twenty four hours before Maddy woke up. Jack rose and sat on the bed beside her.

"Hey." He studied her worriedly, afraid she had lost her memory again, terrified something awful was wrong with her. She blinked a few times and tried to focus. "Am I fuzzy?"

She shook her head. "But I am. What happened?"

"You collapsed. Dr. Lam ran all her tests. It's over now. Just waiting for the results."

"I meant... Jack, you _disappeared_!"

He made a face. "Yeah. About that. I have no idea."

"Well, I might," Dr. Lam said as she walked into the room. General Landry was hot on her heels. She raised a film to the overhead lights. "This is a scan of Maddy's brain. This," she indicated a tiny white dot, "Is a foreign object of undetermined origin."

Jack's heart shattered like an ice cube smacked with a sledge hammer.

"Is it cancer?" Maddy voiced what he couldn't.

"No!" he said immediately.

"No, actually, it's some form of metal." She shuffled through the films and raised another. "This is the MRI. See how there are little star bursts off it? Magnetic resonance will penetrate bone density, but it bounces off metal and creates a burst on the film. Have you ever been shot, Madison? Or shot at? Perhaps stood under a falling scatter of shot? Because that certainly looks like a BB."

Maddy shook her head and shrugged.

"Jack said you lost some time," Landry spoke up for the first time. "You have no idea at all what happened?"

She shook her head again.

"When you fainted, what did you feel?" Dr. Lam asked.

"A searing hot stab," she pointed to the top of her head. "Then a flash of a headache."

"Do you think it was the pain that made you faint?"

She shook her head. "It was sharp, but it didn't last. I just... went down."

"And stayed there for twenty four hours," Jack muttered. He was gripping her hand so tightly his knuckles showed white.

"We're in the process of magnifying this image," Dr. Lam told them. "I'll be back as soon as it's finished."

Landry was called to the control room. He gave Maddy a tight smile. "We'll get you fixed up." He turned on his heel and left.

Jack stared hard at Maddy. "Do you happen to hear any voices?"

"Your's..."

He grimaced. "Inside your head. Does the word 'Urgo' mean anything to you?"

She pouted and shook her head. "What's 'Urgo'?"

Jack winced. "A bad memory. I'll explain it another time. How do you feel now?"

"The same as I did five minutes ago," she snapped.

Jack found himself sitting in his truck.

"Son of a bitch!" He jumped out and raced for the elevator. When he reached the infirmary he nearly collided with Dr. Lam and her dad.

"Oh, General O'Neill," Dr. Lam said distractedly, "You're back just in time. I've got..." Her words trailed off and Landry gave him an odd look as Jack shouldered past them and all but dove into the ward. He was gripping Maddy's foot through the sheet as the two of them gaped at each other.

"Where were you?" she gasped softly.

"In the truck."

She closed her eyes briefly.

"Maddy... how did you do that?" he asked carefully.

She turned wide eyes on him. "I don't know. Maybe it wasn't me."

Lam and Landry traded looks.

"What's this all about?" Landry demanded.

Maddy shook her head at Jack.

"What do the pictures show, Doc?" he asked evasively.

She put a film on a light box, then rolled a computer into the room. "Now," she said pointing to the film. "This is what we've enhanced." She brought up a picture on the computer and stood back for them to look.

There was a tiny white dot amid the mass of brain matter, a myriad of infinitely fine wire-looking strands weaving all over and through her brain.

Maddy dropped back onto the pillow, aghast. "That's in my brain?"

"I'm contacting Thor," Jack announced.

"Wait a minute, Jack," Landry barked. "What makes you think Thor has anything to do with this. What do you think it is?"

"I don't think it's Thor- I think it's Loki. And I think he's back to his tricks, that's what!" Jack snapped.

"Loki? Loki... Oh, now I remember. Wasn't he the renegade Asgard that liked to experiment on humans? Didn't he clone you awhile back?"

Jack made a distasteful face. "That's him. I think he's implanted some form of Asgard transportation device inside my wife's brain!" He turned to give Maddy a slight jerk of his chin.

Maddy frowned, looked at Landry, and closed her eyes. When she opened them, Landry was reentering the ward with an astonished look on his face.

"I'd better call the Pentagon..."

"No!" Jack and Maddy shouted in unison.

Landry stared back and forth between them. Maddy threw back the sheet and swung her feet to the floor. "General Landry," she said evenly, "I _will not_ submit to testing and prying and being examined over and over and _over_ ." She stood and faced him. "This is how we're gonna handle this: I'll submit to whatever tests and experiments Dr. Lam wants. But my records- this entire situation- will be kept under lock and key. Nobody but those of us in this room right now, with the possible inclusion of SG-1, will ever know about it. If you don't agree, I will disappear and not a one of you will ever see me again. And believe me when I tell you I _can_ disappear."

Landry stared hard at her. Maddy stared hard back.

"When you say _nobody_..." Jack ventured with a scowl.

She whirled on him. "I meant _nobody_," she affirmed. "I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't _hauled_ me here. I don't trust you to back me in this, Jack. I hate doctors and labs and tests and evaluations and unending questions and needles and jolts of electricity..." she stopped and sucked in a deep breath. "I won't go through it. If Thor can get this, this _stuff_ outta my head, great. If I have to live with it, I won't be a guinea pig- not for two days, not for the rest of my life. Not here, and not at Area 51." She turned back to Landry. "The decision is yours, General. Do I go away, or can we handle this without involving anyone else? There are no other options."

Jack looked stricken. "Maddy, you wouldn't..."

She turned back to him. "Wouldn't what, Jack?" she asked in a silky voice.

Their entire relationship passed unspoken between them and Jack's shoulders drooped.

"Just take me with," he said softly. "If you disappear, let me disappear with you."

"Right here, right now, all I want is to be outta here. Away from everything, away from all of you, away from _this_," she waved a hand at her head.

When Dr. Lam started moving towards her, Jack knew she was watching the doctor from the corner of her eye. The syringe made it almost to her neck before Maddy caught the doctor's wrist in a strong grip and took the hypo from her.

"Sedative?" she asked quietly.

Dr. Lam's eyes widened at the strength of Maddy's grip and she darted a look at Landry.

"Let her go," Landry ordered.

Maddy locked stares with him as she emptied the syringe into the air. "I mean it, Hank. I won't go through what they'll put me through. I'll cooperate with you and SG-1 as long as it doesn't get outta hand. But..." She let go of the doctor without looking at her.

"Let me think about this," Landry offered. "Let's talk to Thor, see what we come up with. We need to find out who, and why..."

Maddy slowly shook her head. "Now or never, Hank. I'll have your word that I won't be drugged and put in a straight jacket and sent to Area 51 for God knows what tests. This remains between us for the duration."

"General..." Jack urged in quiet desperation.

Dr. Lam stared at her father, her face impassive. Jack sensed there was a lot more riding between father and daughter than just his decision about Maddy.

"You have my word, Madison. But I don't appreciate the position you've put me in," Landry growled.

"_I_ haven't put anybody in any _position_!" she seethed.

"Maddy..." Jack sighed.

But her eyes were full of fire. "Whoever did this to me put you in a _position_, General. Go piss up _their_ leg. I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be abducted, I didn't ask to be raped and tortured, or lose my mind, or lose my memory! You wanna talk about being put in a _position_? Sit down, _Sir_, and lemme tell you all about it!"

Landry and Maddy locked stares in a long, tense battle of wills.

General Hank Landry blinked first. "Go see if you can reach Thor," he said to Jack. "Maddy can go with you if it'll make her more comfortable."

"Thank you," Maddy told him as Jack ushered her from the ward. He didn't miss the cold look she gave Dr. Lam as they left.

They didn't speak as they made their way to Level 28. When Jack abruptly turned into his office and locked the door behind them, Maddy rounded on him, ready to do battle. He sat down on his desk and studied her.

"Calm down, Maddy."

The scream she let out was filled with fury and frustration, but it was fueled by fear. Jack knew it wasn't entirely directed at him. When she grabbed her head and leaned back against the door, he fought back the urge to go to her. It was a long time before she raised her head.

She was crying.

Jack nodded. "There you go. Get it out, Maddy, because you're gonna need all your commies about you to get through this."

She scrubbed a hand over her face and took a few deep breaths. "I thought we were gonna contact Thor."

"We are. But we're gonna discuss this first."

"I have a headache."

"No doubt. Maddy, I'll get you through this. We'll handle it."

She nodded without looking at him.

"But don't you ever threaten to leave me again."

She tried to give him a defiant look but it was spoiled by the way her chin was quivering.

"If that's how you want it, Jack, fine. When you try to ride herd on me again, manhandle me into something I don't wanna do- for any reason- I'll just go. There'll be no threats or warning or discussion."

"You'll regret it." The hardness in his voice surprised even him.

She nodded. "Yes, Jack, I will. But it won't stop me."

"How would you feel if our situations were reversed?"

She wiped at her eyes and made a futile attempt to stop the tears. "I've never tried to force you to do anything."

"You work damned hard at making sure I never have to do a damned thing I don't want to do," he agreed. "But sometimes, Maddy, you're too damned stubborn to do what's best for you."

"I'll be the judge of what's best for me!"

"Not if it means losing you. My first thought was a tumor, cancer. You think I'm gonna just let you ignore something like that? You hate being confined, being handled so much you'd rather die than get treatment. I can't let you do that."

"Again, my decision. I love you Jack, but you don't control me."

"If you died, I'd have to crawl into the grave with you, Maddy. And I'm not ready to die yet. You make life so worth living."

She swallowed hard. "Why me, Jack? Why can't I just love my home and love my husband and love my life with him in peace? When will all this stop?"

Jack held her gaze. "It probably won't. I try to shield you. Try to keep you apart from this stuff. But it follows me like..." He trailed off. "We can leave. We can pack up lock, stock, and barrel and move. Quit the SGC and walk away. Wherever you wanna go. Just say the word and we're outta here. As soon as we're sure that thing in your head isn't gonna..." He motioned futilely with his hands.

He could see her regaining her composure. All she had needed was that moment of release. His level-headed Maddy was returning.

"I love you."

She finally smiled. "That's scary sometimes."

"Wicked roller coaster scary?"

She took a deep breath. "You haven't reached gray wolf spider scary yet."

"Gimme time."

"So now what?"

"_That's_ my girl. We go contact Thor." She reached for the door but he stopped her. "Right after we lay down some ground rules."

She turned with an arched eyebrow.

"You don't beam away from me- for any reason."

She clicked her tongue. "The _one_ advantage to all this..."

He gave her one of his bad-ass, 'I'm-in-charge' looks. "You get pissed to the point you just _have_ to make one of us disappear, you beam _me_ off somewhere. I wanna know where you are and that you're safe. Comprende?"

"What are you gonna do about it?" she asked snidely.

"Exactly. That's why I want your promise. I _trust_ you."

She couldn't hold his gaze and hung her head. "I'm sorry that hurt you."

"It hurts more to know you meant it." When she didn't answer he said, "I've worked hard to earn your trust, Maddy. I'm sorry I screwed it up, but I'll just have to start all over."

She shook her head. "I was in a panic. In that moment, I didn't trust you. But it's passed."

"No, Maddy, if you really did trust me that would never have entered your mind."

"I'm sorry, Jack," she said a bit impatiently. "What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. _I'm_ telling _you_ I'll do better. You need to believe that before we head down the road we're on."

"I finally believe you love me. Will that get me anywhere?"

"It'll get you everywhere."

"Are you mad at me for locking horns with Landry?"

He grinned. "Nope."

Her brows knit and in the next instant Jack was standing so close he was touching her. She tilted her head back and looked up at him.

"How do you _do_ that?" he demanded.

"I just close my eyes, click my heels together, and make a wish." She slipped her arms around his waist. "See if you can guess what I'm wishing for now."

Jack folded his arms around her and kissed her breath away.

It was the day before the Odyssey was scheduled to return for Carter and Teal'c when Thor finally entered Earth's orbit. He beamed Jack and Maddy onto his ship and they related the story to him.

"Loki has not been seen in quite some time." He beamed a pod onto the bridge and blinked at Maddy.

Jack winced as Maddy eyed the coffin-like contraption with the small window over where her face would be. She shot him a tortured look.

"I'd rather go back to that White House dinner."

"Will she be awake while you... do whatever it is you need to do?"

"It is possible to render her unconscious," Thor answered.

"You can do this, Maddy." He led her to the pod. "Pretend you're stepping into a canoe. It'll all be over in a minute."

"Poor choice of words, O'Neill," she winced, turning into his chest.

Jack put his arms around her and tried to absorb her trembling. She was starting to hyperventilate.

"You will feel no discomfort," Thor assured her.

"It's the close confines," Jack explained. "Claustrophobia."

Thor blinked but said nothing.

"You can do this, Maddy. Just step in- I'll stay right here."

Maddy held onto him and put one foot into the pod. Her entire body recoiled back against him and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Jack swung her other leg up and shifted her to sit on the edge. She clung to him like a frightened child. He eased her down inside, but she refused to let go and lay back.

"Just make it all go away," she sobbed. "I don't want any of this!" She tried to climb out, her eyes wide with panic. Jack took her by the shoulders and forced her back.

He found himself standing beside Thor. They blinked at each other. Maddy scrambled out of the pod and looked around wildly for some means of escape. Jack chewed on the inside of his lip.

"Beam me back down to the infirmary," he told Thor. "I'll get a sedative from Dr. Lam."

"No!" Maddy shouted. "Don't leave me alone! Take me with you. Just get me outta here! I can't do this!"

Jack heaved a sigh and cursed Loki. Maddy raced across the bridge and threw herself into Jack's arms.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "Jack, I... I just can't."

"Take your time, Sweetheart. Deep breaths. Wait till you calm down..."

"I _can't_ breathe, Jack! I'm in a _space ship_. _Aliens_. They took me, put stuff inside my _head_! Now you want me to crawl into that, that... It's gonna close me in! I don't know what's gonna happen to me in there! I can't Jack! I'm _scared_!"

Scared. More like panic. Maddy's panic frightened him. Her fear tore him apart. His steady, gutsy, rational Maddy had dissolved into a shaking, hysterical child that was clinging to him, looking to him for a solution.

Jack looked at Thor over Maddy's head. "Send us down to the infirmary."

A moment later the two of them materialized in Dr. Lam's office. The doctor jumped and spilled her coffee down her chest. The mug hit the floor and broke.

"Damn it, General!" the doctor yelped.

Maddy disappeared.

Jack closed his eyes.

"Doc, I need a sedative."

"That I can believe," she muttered.

"For_ Maddy_," he growled. "Make it a double dose. Keep mine handy for when this is over."

She spread her hands wide. "Who are you going to give it to?" she asked sarcastically.

"She can't get into the pod so Thor can run an evaluation. Just gimme the hypo," he said, trying to muster some patience.

She stalked out of the office, trying to brush the coffee from her lab coat. Jack followed her.

"How will you find her?" Dr.Lam demanded. She filled a hypo spray and handed it to him.

"Thor will..." His words ended as he was beamed away.

Dr. Lam walked away muttering.

Jack found himself standing on the bridge of the Thor's ship.

"I'll never get used to this."

Maddy materialized in front of him. She was still running, and hit him full tilt. He caught her and stumbled backwards. Maddy screamed. They went down in a heap, Maddy fighting him blindly. Jack pressed the hypo to her neck, dropped it, and hung onto her until she went still in his arms. Thor beamed her into the pod. The lid closed and sealed with a soft hiss as Jack regained his feet. He hurried to peer through the little window. A swirling mist enveloped the inside of the pod and hid her from his view. Jack laid a hand on the window and leaned close, trying to see through the fog.

"She's not gonna wake up in there, right?"

"She will not. I will remove her before she revives, O'Neill."

Jack dragged his attention from the window. "What are you seeing?"

Thor was shuffling opaque white stones on a console. A multi-dimensional image of Maddy's brain began whirling slowly in the center of the bridge.

"Whoa," Jack murmured.

"This is technology is am unfamiliar with, O'Neill, but it does have a basis in Asgard theory."

"So it probably was Loki?"

"As you would say, it is a practical wager."

"Why Maddy?"

Thor blinked. "This technology is not compatible with Asgard physiology. Apparently Loki needed a test subject in order to progress the theory to a point where it could be adapted to our race. I am able to pinpoint the precepts..."

"Thor. Maddy. Why?"

Thor blinked at him. "I would theorize that Loki was looking for you, O'Neill. Your advanced DNA would have made you the perfect test subject. Your mate, however, has DNA that is nearly as advanced as your own. Were you aware, O'Neill, that she also has the gene which would allow her to control the Ancients' weapons?" He shook his head, a gesture O'Neill had never seen him use before. It was rather jerky, but unmistakable. "It is unfortunate that this specimen has not brought her mind to it's full potential."

"Thor. _Why Maddy_?"

The alien blinked at him. "Did I not answer your question, O'Neill?"

"You're saying I wasn't available, so he used Maddy because she was there?"

"There is a high probability that when he found Maddy where he expected you to be, he tested her for the necessary factors, found her to be an adequate subject, and initiated his experiment. She was a calculated random alternative."

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Jack snarled.

"Were you and your mate to procreate, the offspring would be..."

"Not an option, Thor. Can you undo what Loki did to her?"

"It would take extensive study to make that determination."

"Would it take Loki?"

"I do not think even Loki could restore this brain to it's former state."

Jack blew out his cheeks. "Why?"

Thor stared at him without blinking.

Jack flipped his hands. "Explain it _slowly_. Damn, I wish Carter was here. Why can't you just... cut all those wires and pop the thing out?"

"The 'wires' you refer to, O'Neill, are organic, not metallic. They have integrated throughout her brain and become an essential component of her being. They are continuing to grow and conjoin even now. Already it is too late to keep the technology from fully incorporating into her brain."

To Jack it looked like a fast sprouting vine, twisting and twining and crawling throughout her brain, shooting out new, living branches even as he watched. A horrible itch tickled through his head and he nervously scratched at his scalp with both hands. He shuddered hard and turned away from the hologram.

"So what's this gonna do to her?"

"It should not harm her, O'Neill."

"Not harm her?" he yelped. "How the hell can that," he threw an arm towards the hologram, "Not _harm_ her?"

"The human brain itself feels no pain."

"She has to feel that, Thor!" _He _was feeling it. He was gonna have nightmares of those tentacles weaving themselves around her brain.

"She is in no pain. The process is nearly complete."

Jack whirled back and grimaced at the hologram. He watched as a growing line split in half, parted around a mass of brain matter, then rejoined itself and dove deep into another mass. Opposite of that one, a line delved deep and popped back up, again and again, until it had separated a long, narrow portion of her brain and made six wraps around it. He turned back to Thor.

"She doesn't feel _that_? Even if it doesn't hurt, Thor, she has to feel it!"

"Blood courses through your veins, O'Neill. Do you feel it?"

"I do when I watch that!" he grumped.

"The device should do nothing more than give her the ability to transport with her mind in the same manner as we control the technology manually. As the application grows and expands, so will her abilities. Fascinating..."

"Provided Loki didn't screw it up somewhere!"

"That is a reasonable assumption."

Jack began to pace. "When will it stop growing?"

"When it reaches it's full potential. More properly, when it reaches Maddy's full potential. The device apparently has the ability to expand as she progresses with it's function."

"What if it doesn't stop? What if it takes over her entire brain?"

"That stage has already been attained, O'Neill. It is now teaching her brain how to utilize the ability."

"Shit. Piss, shit, damn, go to hell! What about the headaches? That hot feeling she gets in her head?"

"Momentary side effects that should decrease with time."

"There's nothing that can be done? No way at all to remove it?"

"Removal will cause permanent, irreparable damage. If we follow this course of action, O'Neill, it is possible that the Nox could restore her to her former condition. I can calculate the probability of success, but if you value your mate the prognosis would be unacceptable."

Jack stopped pacing to stare at him.

"Perhaps you should consider the potential."

"_What if it screws her up?_" Jack yelled. "What if we wait too long and it kills her? Or leaves her brain dead?"

"If that were the case, it would have happened already. The technology has passed the danger point. I would speculate that Loki kept her under close supervision during the critical period of integration."

"That was big of him," Jack grunted sarcastically. Then the full implication of what Thor had said hit him and a an icy chill swept his body. He could have come home from that mission to a dead wife. Or drooling, mindless vegetable. "If I ever get my hands on Loki..."

"It stands to reason, O'Neill, that Loki will need to monitor his experiment."

Jack whirled on him. "Then we can catch him."

"It would be unadvisable. For the present it would be preferable for Loki to continue unhampered. He is the only one possessing an understanding of this technology."

"What if he decides to take her brain out and study it?" Jack demanded.

"He will not. He will extrapolate visual data to incorporate in the ongoing development of this technology. Once we are certain your mate is not in danger from the technology, we will apprehend Loki and ensure no future mischievous behavior."

"I though you already did that!"

Thor blinked. "He was banned from cloning experiments on humans."

"But you left him loose to do _this_!"

"He did not seek permission for this area of study."

Jack threw his hands in the air and gave in to the futility of the argument. "Can you send all this information down to the base? When Carter gets back, I want her to know what we know."

Thor shuffled the stones again. "It is done. Prepare yourself, O'Neill." The pod hissed open.

Jack hurried over and took Maddy's hand as she slowly awakened. He touched her face and tried to smile as she blinked up at him.

"Is it over?" she whispered.

"It's over." He helped her sit up and she nearly knocked both of them down in her frantic escape from the confines of the pod. She stood shaking in his arms, huge tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Is it gone?" she asked.

"No, Babe... Let's go home and I'll tell you about it there." He looked at Thor over her shoulder. "Thanks, Thor. I owe you."

"I will have Loki monitored," he assured O'Neill.

Jack found himself and Maddy standing in the control room of the SGC. Two SF guards drew their weapons.

"Stand down," Landry ordered. "Well, what did Thor have to say?"

Maddy looked up at him, anxious to hear his answer.

"It's basically irreversible, it shouldn't hurt her, and the Nox are the only ones who could possibly help her to recover if they remove it. He seemed impressed- with both Maddy and the technology."

Landry grunted. Dr. Lam entered the room, a stunned look on her face.

"I just received a full report on Maddy's... enhancement. We need to run some tests so we know what we're..."

Jack found himself standing beside the truck in the tunnel, Maddy still clinging to him. He grinned down at her.

"My thought exactly. Let's go home and play with your new toy."

**Chapter Nine**

Jack stood behind the command chair and divided his attention between the planet and Maddy. She was seated off to the side, out of the way, taking in everything.

It had been a battle convincing Landry to let her come with him, and Jack had agreed with every argument the general made. Having her onboard broke every conceivable rule and regulation, Air Force and otherwise. But there was no way Jack was letting her out of his sight, and he was equally as determined to head-up the rescue mission. He had finally warned Landry that Maddy would just beam herself aboard, and it would save them all a lot of heartache and grief if he just issued approval.

Maddy was depressed. She felt she was creating a rift between Jack and Landry, causing problems for everyone including her husband. It was hard to convince her that everyone understood none of this was her fault, no one was holding her to blame. But it was still tricky working her into policy and finding big enough loop holes to accommodate her situation.

It had been far less difficult to persuade her to board the Odyssey.

Jack watched as Vala chattered at her, explaining everything she could from her unique point of view. Jack was pleased- it helped to distract her.

Didn't do much to distract him, though.

Hadn't he, Maddy, and all of SG-1 been through enough for several lifetimes? Once again he was directly responsible for Maddy enduring major trauma. He snorted bitterly when he thought about all the things he had pleaded with her not to do. Had worried about her getting into when he wasn't there to watch over her. Next time, maybe he should insist she climb on the roof and ride a motorcycle and go bungee jumping while he was gone- maybe that was the way to outwit The Fates.

Maybe he was being punished for clipping the wings of an eagle. He didn't deserve to be loved the way Maddy loved him, and apparently Somebody was determined to keep reminding him of that fact.

Whatever it was, he needed to do something. He couldn't handle much more of watching these things happen to her.

"The F-302 is ready, Sir."

"Colonel Mitchell, you are cleared for take off," the captain said.

"Be back in a jiffy," Mitchell's voice came across the audio.

Mitchell would fly down, locate Carter and Teal'c, and bring them back up one at a time. Jack moved to where he could see the video monitor.

"I'm breaking through...field..." Reception failed as Mitchell entered the planet's gravity well field.

The cameras snowed over, then cleared. Mitchell set a course for the ocean, and as Jack had done previously, banked south and followed the shoreline.

Jack glanced at Maddy. Her eyes were glued to the screen. He wanted to go to her, touch her, feel her close to him. He cursed Loki again and sent up a silent prayer that she would be alright. He didn't know what he'd do if something happened to her. They say hind-sight was twenty-twenty. He wished now that he had not taken the civilian oversight position Hammond created for him at the SGC. That when he married her, vowed to protect her, he had brains enough to realize that as long as he was connected to the SGC she was in danger. He didn't know which was going to drive him over the edge first; raging jealousy or fear for her safety.

"How's your head?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes darted to him then back to the monitor. "Hurts a little. Stress, I think, not the device." She glanced back at him. "I'm okay, Jack." She jerked her chin at the monitor, indicating that he should concentrate on Carter and Teal'c.

The cameras abruptly banked out over the ocean, swept a dizzying loop, then dipped low along a sandy stretch. The pod came into sight, then zoomed in as Mitchell hovered over it. The lid was off, the supplies gone.

Carter and Teal'c had made it across the planet.

A cheer erupted from the bridge crew. Jack shot Maddy a reassuring wink.

"Holy shit what is _that?_" the video tech yelped, rearing back in his seat.

Jack watched the monitor as a giant spider-like creature came into view, so huge the tree tops brushed it's underside as it zeroed in on the F-302's electronic emissions.

"Pull up!" Jack warned futilely.

The creature seemed to crouch, then sprang upwards. The bridge crew caught a breath in unison as the horrific creature lunged directly into the camera lens, two giant pincers bracketing an open mouth. The monitor showed sky, water, sky, water as Cam put the F-302 into a dizzying, spiraling climb. He banked around and they could see the creature rising from a huge wave of water.

"Permission to blast that unholy thing to pieces, Colonel," Jack muttered.

Jack got his wish as Mitchell did a diving run, strafing the creature with laser fire. Every shot hit the mark. The creature seemed to lick it's lips and ask for more.

"It's absorbing the energy," Vala said in awe. "He's _feeding_ it!"

"Break off!" Jack coached automatically, uncaring that the colonel couldn't hear him.

Mitchell pulled the F-302 up out of reach.

"We need to drop something with a strong signal well away from that pod," Vala suggested. "Lure them away so he can land."

"Carter and Teal'c should have heard the ruckus," Jack said. "Maybe he can raise them on the radio."

"If they eat energy, hopefully they don't have a taste for fresh meat," Vala said optimistically.

Jack grunted.

"We could load him up with locator beacons," the captain offered. "He could drop them in a line to bait the creatures inland."

"Do it," Jack said. "I'll gear up and be ready when he docks."

"How will he deploy the beacons?" Vala asked.

"Drop low enough, open the hatch, and I'll drop them out," Jack shrugged. He risked a glance at Maddy.

She was staring at the monitor, her face frozen in a look of horror. He could see goose flesh raised all along her arms, see her shuddering. Maddy hated spiders. Next to being confined, spiders were the only things she truly feared. He moved over and squeezed her shoulder, could feel her trembling.

"You don't have to watch," he said softly. "Go down to quarters, or the dining area."

She shook her head. "Be careful," she pleaded in a stricken voice.

He patted her shoulder. "Come help me gear up." It would give them a moment of privacy.

The moment they stepped into the supply room where flight gear was stored, Jack drew her into his arms and kissed her. She was shaking from head to toe and her lips were cold.

"You gonna be okay?"

She nodded. "Ugh, those things are awful! Sam and Teal'c..."

"We'll find them and they'll be just fine," he assured her.

"Are they all that huge, or are there millions of little ones...?"

He took her by the shoulders and stared hard at her. "They're fine, Maddy. Concentrate on Carter and Teal'c. Don't think about the creatures."

She canted him a sarcastic look. Then she frowned. "Put a locator beacon where I can see it? I want to try to beam one down."

He shrugged. "Let's try it."

He finished gearing up and led her to the flight deck. Mitchell was just climbing out of the F-302. He looked up and gave an exaggerated shiver.

"F..." He saw Maddy and changed his comment to, "Damn!"

Jack stopped the tech who was headed for the F-302 with an armload of beacons and took one from him. He turned to Maddy.

"How do you wanna do this?"

Mitchell gave him an odd look.

"I don't want to put it close to the pod- I need to picture something down there so I have a point of reference."

"Did you see that butte when I first entered the atmosphere?" Mitchell asked. "It's far enough away."

Maddy nodded. Jack turned on the beacon.

"Vala," he said into the radio, "Turn on the beacon monitor. Maddy's gonna try beaming one down. See if you can track it."

There was a pause. "Got it, General."

"Put it on the floor, Jack," Maddy instructed. "I don't wanna beam you down by mistake."

Jack set the beacon down and back pedaled with Mitchell to a safe distance. Maddy stared at the beacon then closed her eyes. The beacon disappeared.

"Vala, it's gone. What do you have?"

"Lost it, General. The signal died as soon as it left the ship."

"The field," Jack grunted. "Well, either your capability is no more advanced than the Odyssey's technology, or that field is just too strong." He turned to Mitchell. "Ready to try again?"

"You're going with me?" Mitchell asked in surprise. "How will I bring one of them back?"

"We gotta find them first," Jack said. "Mount up, Ace. You can fly while I toss out bait."

"Let's go then."

Maddy felt a hand on her arm. The launch tech jerked his chin towards the door.

"We have to leave bay, Mrs. O'Neill. All the oxygen will be sucked out when the launch bay doors are opened."

"Oh. Right."

Jack returned her wave and settled into the F-302.

"Not used to that seat, General?" Mitchell taunted as he fired the engines.

"It's not too late to swap," Jack growled at him. "Get us up before I change my mind about who's flying and who's tossing."

"What's the P90 for?" Mitchell asked. He neatly turned the ship to face the doors. Alarms sounded as the bay doors began to open.

"I wanna see if they enjoy eating bullets as much as they do lasers."

"Awesome. Too late to swap places?"

"Yep," Jack grinned.

Mitchell punched it and slammed Jack back into his seat. He did a fly-by of the Odyssey, buzzed the bridge, then banked and headed toward the planet.

"Not as much fun when you aren't rattling the teeth of an air traffic controller, is it?" O'Neill taunted dryly.

"It does lose something in the translation," Mitchell replied. "Imagine you've orchestrated the dumping of coffee down brass's shirt front a time or two yourself, General."

"Not me," Jack said innocently.

"Preparing to enter the field," he said. The F-302 sliced through the planet's atmosphere at a shallow angle and began an uncontrolled glide toward the surface.

Jack watched the tree tops rise to meet them. There were several more of the huge creatures in the distance, rising above the forest.

"Puts you in mind of dinosaurs," Mitchell said.

"Hope the big ones ate all the little ones," Jack returned. "Carter, Teal'c, do you read? Ready to go home yet, or are you two still enjoying your camping trip?'

Mitchell snickered, but sobered when there was no response. "This far enough inland?"

"It'll do. Roll us over."

Mitchell slowed the F-302, turned upside down, and cracked open the canopy. Jack began activating the beacons and dropping them to the ground.

"That's the last one," Jack told him.

"Head back to the beach?"

"Give it awhile. The 302 draws them- let it draw them out here for the scavenger hunt."

"Got it." He righted the craft and made a wide pattern over the forest.

"We've got some time to kill," Jack told him. "Let's make a run over that sphere."

"Initiating a hyperspace burst," he warned.

"Don't bring us out too close," Jack warned back.

A moment later they were circling the sphere from a respectable distance. Mitchell whistled softly.

The dome was torn to shreds.

"Pull up!" Jack barked as a giant spider made a leap for the craft. His skin crawled as he looked back and saw what seemed like millions of the creatures flooding out of the forest. From the size of a baseball to the giant ones that topped the trees, the planet surface was crawling with them. "Get us back over the beacons," he told Mitchell. A shudder wracked his body as he thought of Carter and Teal'c stranded down there.

Another short hyper-space burst brought them over the wide expanse where the beacons were drawing the creatures by the hoards. The vast tree canopy was trembling from the onslaught.

"They're coming in like the tide," Mitchell said with satisfaction. "That sphere must have been packed solid with those things."

"Make a course due north," Jack told him, "And take it slow. We'll draw all we can this direction, then hyper-burst out over the ocean and approach the pod from the water."

"They'll go into the water, but probably not be lurking out there," Mitchell said in an approving tone. "Buy us more time. So you really _didn't_ make general on your looks."

"If I didn't, you sure as hell won't," Jack snorted.

"You keep showing me the ropes and I'll jump your stars," Mitchell fired back. "How long before I get issued a wife like yours?"

"You couldn't handle a wife like mine," Jack returned.

"You're probably right," he said sardonically. "But I'd sure as hell like to give it a shot."

"Easy," O'Neill warned softly.

They were coming in over the water, approaching the beach. "Land, let me off, then get back out over the ocean. _Way_ out. I'll turn off my radio, but if I send you a carrier, beat feet back."

"Your implant will draw them."

"Hopefully I can pick up some intel and get the hell outta there before it does," O'Neill responded.

Mitchell set the F-302 down amid a shower of sand and water. Jack jumped out and darted towards the pod. Before he got there Mitchell lifted off, banked over the water, and climbed out of sight. Jack carefully approached the pod and confirmed that it was empty. There were indentations around the pod and leading inland, almost completely filled in by blowing sand.

"Carter!" he bellowed. "Teal'c!"

Nothing.

He grimaced, drew his knife, and cut out his implant. With blood dripping down his arm, he set the device on the pod and smashed it with the butt of the P90. He set out along the faint trail. When he entered the tree line he immediately spotted several of the creatures, the largest one the size of a recliner. The big one had a sack of eggs on its back. He could see it moving, pulsing in a way that made him shudder again. They paid him no mind so he continued onward, trying to ferret-out the trail. It didn't take him long to lose all trace of their path.

"Carter! Teal'c!"

No response.

He continued onward, but noticed the spider with the egg sack was shadowing him. He turned a full circle, studying the terrain.

"**_Carter!_**"

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. He whirled as the creature made a beeline for him. Jack raised the P90, centered the infra red dot between it's eyes, and squeezed off a shot. The creature kept coming. He fired twice more then aimed for a huge black eye. It cringed back, teetered, then fell with a thump that rocked the ground under his feet. The egg sack tore open and what seemed like thousands of tiny spider-creatures poured out in all directions. It seemed like the surrounding forest emptied of all the creatures as they converged on the dead spider and began feeding. He danced a jig as several darted around his feet, but they didn't pause. He continued on his way, glancing back often to check behind him.

He eventually found a thread on a bush, and a faint print. He pushed onward, chancing a call from time to time. Finding nothing more after another two hours of searching, he checked his compass, got a heading, and turned back.

When he reached the beach he turned on his radio. "Mitchell. You still up there?"

"About time, General!" Mitchell sounded worried.

"Come get me." Jack shut off the radio, dropped down on the ocean side of the pod, and braced the P90. It didn't take long for the creatures to come looking for him. The smaller ones dropped with a single shot, the bigger ones took more. An eye shot seemed to work the best and he picked off as many as he could until the F-302 settled in the sand behind him. Mitchell rose from the cockpit and offered cover fire with his sidearm as Jack darted to the ship.

They rose into the sky and banked sharply out over the water.

"Any sign of them?" Mitchell asked.

"A few prints, faint trail. Lost it two hours in."

"How are we gonna find them, General? Surely they would have left markers of some sort."

"It a big planet, Colonel. I found a few signs, but..."

"We need a tracker."

Jack narrowed his eyes at Mitchell's back, daring him to suggest the one person in the universe he refused to allow on the planet surface.

"Vala might be able to do it," the colonel said at last. "Unless you can think of anyone on board who is better."

"Drop me off again, then go get Vala. Arm her with a P90 and as many extra clips as she can carry."

"Night vision equipment?"

"Nope. If we haven't found anything by nightfall, we'll go back to the ship and start again tomorrow." He drummed his fingers a moment. "We need to get some signal fires started- let them know we're looking for them."

"Sir, back in Viet Nam they used to pop the pins on grenades, stuff 'em into mayonnaise jars, and drop 'em outta helicopters. Didn't give 'em time to cook off on the way down- when the glass shattered, the grenade went off where it was supposed to."

"You're too damned young to have served in Nam."

"Yes, Sir, but I can read."

"Read my ass," O'Neill said sarcastically, "You saw that on TV."

Mitchell grinned. It was great being razzed by Jack O'Neill himself. "My point, Sir, was if we could come up with an incendiary device that could be dropped outta the cockpit and ignite on impact..."

"I knew I let you come along for a reason," Jack approved. "Bring a bunch. Once we locate Carter and Teal'c, we might need you to connect the dots."

He let Mitchell think about that. "Ahhh, create a line of fire between you and the beacons, hopefully keeping the critters on the other side while I scoot in and pick you up."

"I don't want more than one 302 down here at a time," O'Neill warned. "Bad enough the way one ship excites those _things._ Hell, just a radio signal gets them all wound up."

Mitchell handed back his sidearm, then two clips. "That oughtta hold you until we get back. When I drop you off, I'll do a low arc over the forest and try to draw them off you."

"Don't forget about the big ones that jump."

"Not likely, Sir."

"When we find them and get started to the beach, I'll shoot two quick carriers. You start that line of fire before you drop in for the first passenger."

"What if you just want me to get you outta there as fast as possible?"

"I'll key the mike and scream like a girl," Jack shot back dryly. "And Mitchell- do not allow my wife to talk you into letting her come instead of Vala."

"No, Sir, I won't."

"She can be pretty damned persuasive," he cautioned.

"Yes, Sir, I imagine she can. I'm up to the task."

"If she steps out of this bird, Mitchell, I'm gonna feed you to those spiders."

"You can be pretty damned persuasive yourself, General."

Mitchell settled the ship on the sand and Jack climbed out again.

Vala didn't get much farther than Jack did in tracking Carter and Teal'c. They pushed the search right up until they could no longer see the creatures coming at them. It was questionable whether or not O'Neill would have enough ammunition to hold them off until Mitchell could return Vala to the Odyssey and come back for him.

**Chapter Ten**

Maddy rubbed his shoulders as he sat stewing in their cramped quarters aboard the Odyssey. Jack scrubbed his hands over his head.

"They're okay, Jack. You just can't find them."

"They should have seen the signal fires and headed for the pod." He appreciated the way she dropped her arms around his chest and held him. He crossed his arms over hers and absently rubbed his ear against her cheek. "I'm having the flight squad take turns dropping light-load mortars. Hopefully by tomorrow they'll have heard at least one of them."

"Anyone have trouble negotiating that field?"

"Not so far. We've got the best pilots on Earth aboard this ship, but it'll only take one mistake..."

"I could track them, Jack," she said quietly.

His head dropped. "I know you could, Maddy. I'm just not ready to let you go down there. You don't _want_ to go down there, the way you hate spiders."

"I'm a decent shot."

"You won't be if you're shaking in your boots. Or if you seize up."

"I can beam us away if they get too close."

"You don't know enough about the technology yet."

"Good place to practice?"

"What if you pass out?"

She kissed his cheek. "You won't let anything happen to me."

She said it with such complete confidence that Jack felt his chest expand. He gripped her arms then caught her hands and turned as he stood up. "Let's see if we can get some sleep, Babe. I'm exhausted."

She curled up around him, nestled his head against her chest, cradled him like a baby. She lightly, rhythmically stroked his head, his temples, down over his eyelids. He fell asleep thinking there was no way he was ever going to be able to sleep.

The search began at daylight. By noon there was no more sign of Carter and Teal'c than before.

"The mortars, the signal fires," Vala shook her head. "They should have noticed something."

Jack sucked on his teeth and swore. Landry was threatening to call off the search. He couldn't tie up the Odyssey indefinitely. Neither of them- nobody aboard the Odyssey- wanted to voice the growing fear that they were searching for bodies.

Bodies that well may have been devoured.

"Let's head back to the beach," he growled.

He did not want to do this. But Maddy might be Carter and Teal'c's only hope, and they were running out of time.

If they were still alive.

Jack paced the beach as he and Vala waited for Mitchell to deliver Maddy to the planet.

"General, if you don't cease movement, you are going to attract the attention of those God-awful creatures," Vala insisted.

Jack grimaced and sank down beside the pod.

Maddy had never been in a craft such as the F-302. If Mitchell did something to show off and he frightened her... What if he missed the angle coming through the field? How was she going to deal with these spider things? A house spider the size of a quarter made her hair stand on end. She could face a mountain lion, but couldn't bring herself to take a spider out of the bathtub. How would she react if they found remains, if the remains were gruesome?

Jack shook his head, got up, and started pacing again.

When the F-302 settled on the sand, Jack covered his face with an arm and hurried into the swirling sand. Maddy was laughing when Mitchell cracked the canopy. She handed down a utility sack of ammunition, then a P90. He was helping her down off the wing when Vala opened fire.

He turned and saw her drive back a small swarm of the spider-like creatures.

"Come on, Babe," he said, using his arm around her waist to urge her along. "The sooner Mitchell leaves, the sooner we can convince them there's nothing here they want."

He felt her stiffen, felt the tremor in her body. But she gamely ran with him to the pod. Jack turned and waved Mitchell off, gave a hand signal telling him to draw the creatures inland, then pulled Maddy's face to his chest to protect her eyes from the sand. When everything was clear, he showed her the prints.

Maddy studied the area, the prints, then headed off towards the forest. When they reached the tree line, he handed her the P90 and slipped the strap over her shoulder.

"Remember what I showed you about this weapon?" he asked as he adjusted the strap.

"Yep." Her eyes nervously scanned the brush.

"I'll be right beside you, Vala is right behind. You concentrate on the trail." He lifted her chin and captured her gaze. "We won't let them near you, Babe, but we need to do this and get outta here."

She nodded, took a deep breath, and led off. She followed the faint trail as far as Jack and Vala had gone, then spent an hour making slow, patient, every-expanding circles. She asked Jack for his field glasses and took her time studying the terrain. Finally she stopped and shook her head.

"We need to back-track." She turned back the trail and jumped when Vala started shooting.

Jack caught her shoulder and kept her facing forward. "They're gone. Don't think about it."

Maddy took them back to where Jack had found the thread on the bush, which he had left untouched. Jack divided his time between watching her and watching the forest. When she moved off again, it was in the opposite direction.

"Maddy... aren't you following their _incoming_ trail?" he asked uncertainly. "Look here a minute." He hunkered down and drew a circle in the dirt. He drew a wavy line across one edge. "This is the ocean. This," he dug a dot, "Is where the sphere was- where their 302 crashed. We're here. They in came from the direction you're headed. They left the beach and headed that way."

Maddy watched with pursed lips, nodding that she agreed with his reasoning. "I'm thinking they came in this way, got the supplies, then headed up that way." She pointed back the way they had come. "I'm guessing they found too much cover, but nothing for shelter. The trees are smaller up that way, Jack, probably stunted from ocean winds. Smaller trees let in more sunlight and the undergrowth grows thicker- easier for the creatures to sneak close. Trees are bigger down this way. High thick canopy doesn't let in enough light for the brush to grow as thick- not as much cover for the creatures to hide in. Big trees are better to hide behind, or _in_ if they needed to climb. More substantial to put your back against. You said when they first crashed they climbed a tree to avoid the creatures."

Jack nodded up at her.

"I have a hunch they went north- probably until it was almost dark. When they didn't find shelter and the trees got smaller, the brush thicker- which would have made it harder to maneuver the slide full of supplies- they turned back to a place they had passed. A place they felt more secure. Went back to a sure bet for the night. The forest floor is clearer under the bigger trees- easier to see the creatures coming at them."

"Damn," Vala said appreciatively.

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "They have no need to travel now. They just needed to find a good spot and dig in to wait. Not too far from the pod because that's the pick up point."

"But they still needed shelter. So if they left the beach, it was because they had passed a place they felt was better," Vala added. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"And the fact that they unloaded the supplies to take them along tells me where they're headed is further than they felt was a quick jaunt for food and water."

"I want to track their back trail and see if they headed off a different direction somewhere along the line. There's no sign of an overnight stay up that way, either. They would have lit a fire, probably made a circle of fire and camped inside it."

"For light to see them as well as hoping the creatures wouldn't cross the flames," Vala nodded.

"Except for the ones that could step over it," Jack muttered.

"And they might have spent the night on the beach near the pod. If there was enough moonlight, they wouldn't have wasted a fire. Come morning, the sun would have driven them back into the forest. The heat alone would have been incentive to get into the shade, but it would also reduce their need for water. Make what they had last longer."

"Didn't Carter say the oceans weren't salt water?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, but have you smelled it? I wouldn't taste it."

"This from a woman who drank purple water on Nirrti's planet?"

She shook her head. "It didn't smell like that. That smells like those spider things pee in it."

Vala laughed.

"But the boot tracks are facing that way," Jack insisted.

Maddy nodded. "Sam is leading. Teal'c is dragging the pod lid with supplies. It's smearing most of the tracks, then the wind off the shore is blowing litter over the slide marks. It'll obliterate faster than boot impressions. The tracks you found, going that way, are where Sam stepped sideways to hold back limbs for Teal'c to pass. She broke them off- probably as he was passing- so she didn't need to step off the path to hold them on the way back."

"And the slide wiped them all out." Jack rose and stared at her. "Lead on, Dan'l."

Maddy smiled, remembering the first time he had called her that. "Love you." She turned and made her way back down the trail.

Maddy found where the trail from the beach intersected with their incoming tracks. She went a few yards and crouched down. A moment later she used the muzzle of the P90 to lift back a thick stand of brush and smiled up at Jack.

There was a definite boot print going the wrong direction.

"How did you find that?" Vala demanded.

Maddy pointed to a large rock jutting out amid thick stands of brush. "Teal'c would have stepped sideways into the brush to hold it back with his legs while he shoved the slide past that rock."

Jack and Vala traded looks as Maddy moved on.

She was looking down, concentrating on finding faint clues amid the thick blanket of forest litter, when Jack's hand on her arm stopped her. She looked up and couldn't stifle a short scream.

The spider creature was the size of his pickup. It was watching them intently, the two huge pincers moving like the tail on a cat ready to pounce. Vala moved up behind them, her back against Jack's.

"I've got your six, General, but feel free to give a shout if you need any help."

Jack raised the weapon and squeezed off a shot. The creature's eye exploded and it let out a blood-curdling screech. Maddy's P90 spoke and it's other eye disappeared.

"Nice," Jack complimented.

"It isn't going down," she whispered shakily.

"It will." He hoped.

It did. Right smack in the middle of the trail they were following. It was instantly crawling with more of the creatures, clicking and squealing like angry pigs as they fought to feed on the dead one.

"Uh, General..." Vala's weapon opened up.

Jack shoved Maddy sideways into the brush. "Go! Vala, we need to get outta their way!"

"Right behind you!" she called, still firing.

Jack waited until she passed him then turned and crashed through the brush after the two women. They were running sideways across the incoming tide of creatures. By the time they reached the beach and were clear of the stampede, Maddy was a wreck. Shaking and crying, trying her best not to do either, she closed her eyes and tried to breathe.

Vala shot her a sympathetic look then jerked her chin at O'Neill. "I'll keep watch. Take care of her."

Jack wrapped his arms around Maddy and rocked her gently. "God, Maddy, I'm sorry I got you into this! It'll be okay, honest. We're outta there." He caught her chin and raised her eyes to his. "I'll call Mitchell in and he can take you back to the Odyssey. I think we're on the right track now. Vala and I will..."

She pulled out of his grasp and shook her head. "How long will they feed on that carcass?"

He winced. "I imagine it's nothing but bones already."

"Then let's drop the biggest one we can that's there feeding and keep them busy while we skirt around and pick up the trail- very far away from them."

Vala raised her eyebrows at Jack.

"Let's go then, before they wander off," he said. "You okay?"

"No, but I'm not quitting until we find Sam and Teal'c."

"Why didn't you just beam us outta there?" Vala asked.

Maddy wiped a sleeve across her eyes. "I couldn't beam us all at once and I was afraid to split us up."

"Why don't you try beaming Colonel Carter and Teal'c _to_ us?" she suggested.

Maddy shrugged and closed her eyes. She winced and staggered. Jack steadied her. But nothing else happened.

"Maybe all I can do is beam stuff _away_."

"Maybe you have to see them to beam them," Vala responded.

Jack eyed her critically. He sensed the effort had been more painful than she would admit, had left her with a headache.

"Wanna rest awhile? Lay down beside the pod and we'll keep watch."

She shook her head. "Let's go do this while we have a way to keep them occupied in one place."

Against his better judgement, Jack agreed. He decided his judgment was in question for having brought her down here in the first place. He was gonna kick his own ass over the moon when they got back to Earth, but he was going to get _all_ of them back to Earth first.

As they headed inland, Vala leaned close to Jack and said sotto voce, "I hope she never has the occasion to track _me_!"

"Me either," he muttered.

They killed as many of the creatures as they could then hurried along the trail. Maddy was still shaking, and more jumpy, but she nosed out the trail like a bloodhound. When they found a small hill of cleaned carcasses, Jack patted Maddy's shoulder.

"Looks like Carter and Teal'c used the same trick we just did."

They came to a large open area, dimly shadowed by the thick canopy, and the faint marks made by the slide faded away completely. They could have gone any direction.

"Now what?" Jack asked.

"We make a wide circle, looking for an exit point," Vala said confidently.

"Hold on a sec," Maddy said. She hunkered down and stared at the area. Finally she looked up at Vala.

"Would you mind skirting the perimeter, Vala, and see if you can find something over there?" She pointed to a spot forward and left of where they were standing.

Vala moved off then turned. "Here?"

Maddy eyed the ground as if she were lining up a long putt. She motioned to the right then made a fist.

"Check for prints," she called. "Broken limbs, blonde hairs about head height, scuffed-up leaves, stones that look damp on top or have fresh dirt on them..."

"Why there?" Jack asked.

She tugged him down beside her. "Look at all the sticks and dead limbs strewn around. Scattered helter-skelter right were they dropped."

"Yeah."

She pointed. "That one, and those two, are laying longwise in the same direction. They might have fallen like that, but you can draw a straight line between them. There's another further on."

"The slide moved them."

"Good as an arrow pointing the way," she said, rising.

"Ugh!" Vala sputtered. "Spider webs!"

"Stop!" Maddy called urgently. "Don't move."

"That's the first we've run into webs," Jack said. He saw Maddy give a hard shudder and he squeezed her shoulder.

She shot him a grimace. "They'll make it easier, though. Now we can follow a path of broken webs."

"Wonder why this place isn't thick with them?" he asked as they moved across the opening. "Those huge ones must spin silk the size of rope." The thought made him crane his neck to look up as he walked.

"Nothing to catch," Maddy reasoned. "Have you seen any flies, bugs, any kind of food to be trapped? It's probably a natural instinct to spin a web, but without prey to catch, they don't do it as much as you'd expect."

"They must have scoured the planet clean before somebody penned them up."

"If they were in some sort of stasis, or suspended animation inside that sphere," Vala offered, "It might have taken them awhile to settle back into their natural habits."

"If that's the case," Maddy answered, "They woke up hungry enough to eat each other."

"With any luck they'll eradicate themselves," Vala said.

Jack looked at her uncertainly.

"Do you think that's why somebody put them in there? To keep them from making themselves extinct?" Maddy asked him.

"I know what 'eradicate' means," he said snidely. "It just sounded funny the way she used it."

Maddy laughed at him.

"They're certainly not natural," Vala continued. "Somebody was playing around with one massive, planet-wide experiment. We haven't stumbled onto any sort of ruins that indicate a civilization used to be here."

"Unless they ate that, too." Maddy glanced at Jack, asking his input.

"I have no idea," he said, a bit impatient with the chatter. "Let's concentrate more on the trail and less on why, shall we?"

Maddy shot him a tight, apologetic smile and redoubled her efforts.

They moved further along and Maddy stopped abruptly. Jack glanced at her, raked the terrain with his eyes, then followed her gaze.

"Betcha they're up there," she said softly.

Jack squinted at butte that rose out of nowhere in the middle of the forest. He raised his field glasses.

"Slope is bare of brush, just a few trees. Clear line of sight- and fire. High ground, good visibility. Not quite over the tops of the trees, but high enough to see smoke from signal fires..." He could just make out a dark opening about a quarter of the way up the side.

"Let's check it out."

When they reached the opening, Jack dug a flashlight from his pack. Maddy bumped his arm and pointed to boot tracks in the opening. He flashed the light inside and they saw the pod lid, off to one side.

"You two stay put." There was no need to caution them to keep an eye out for creatures. He ducked down and stepped inside. "Carter! Teal'c!"

"Here, Sir!" Sam shouted.

Vala and Maddy both let out excited shouts. Jack hushed them.

"Carter, where are you?" He took another step.

"Watch out! The..."

Jack cursed as the ground gave out underneath him and he felt himself falling.

"_Jack!" _Maddy dashed for the opening but Vala grabbed the strap of her P90.

"Maddy! Stop! Wait! We can't all end up however they are! Hold on." They dug flashlights out of their packs and shined them inside. It looked like a pit of some sort.

"Sam?" Maddy called.

"Don't come in!" Carter warned. "The ground is very brittle. We're down about fifty feet. Teal'c broke a hip and an arm. I've got a broken leg. General O'Neill is unconscious- I can't tell the extent of his injuries. The flashlight broke when he fell. He's bleeding from somewhere."

Vala inched inside and tugged the pod lid out where they could reach it. She started uncoiling a rope.

"I'm going to lower a pack with water and another flashlight," she called as Maddy stuffed the items into a backpack.

They tied it up and Vala flung it inside the cave. The rope sang as it played out, then there was a thump.

"Got it!" Carter called.

"Sam, do you know how long that rope is?" Maddy called.

"It was fifty feet. Teal'c cut off probably ten feet to make the slide."

Maddy eyed the remaining length. "You're down about twenty feet, then. Any chance you could climb out if we tie it off and help pull?"

"I doubt it. Teal'c's too busted up, the General's still unconscious, and we're awful weak from not eating or drinking."

"We'll have to get help," Vala said. "I'll go back and lead them in."

"Wait," Maddy said. "Sam, untie that pack and let me pull the rope back."

"Go ahead."

Maddy reeled in the rope and tied it around her waist.

"Maddy, I'm smaller and your stronger. I should go."

Maddy shook her head. "I only need to see them. I'm going to try to beam them out."

She made two wraps around a tree and handed Vala the end.

"Brace against the tree. The wraps will give you all the leverage you need to keep me from falling. I can beam myself back- you won't have to pull. Just feed it out slowly and keep it taut."

She crept inside the cave, got down on her belly, and crawled forward.

"The rim breaks away," Carter called. "It looks solid but it'll fool you."

Maddy felt ahead with her hands and the ground crumbled with very little pressure. She eased to the side and inched forward. Below her, she could see a dim glow in the inky blackness. There was a solid rock protruding from the wall of the cave and she had to wedge herself into a very tight, very dark space to get on top of it. But from there she could see down into the pit.

"Shine the light on Jack," she told Sam.

Sam turned the beam on Jack's still form. Maddy closed her eyes and Jack vanished.

"What the hell...!" Carter yelped.

"Teal'c," Maddy urged. "Show me Teal'c." The pain in her head was incredible.

Carter moved the beam to Teal'c. He blinked and squinted into the abrupt light. Maddy glanced back at the opening to see where Jack had landed, looked back at Teal'c, and beamed him out. Then she blacked out.

"Maddy?" Carter called. "What's going on?"

"Maddy!" Vala shouted.

Neither of the women could hear what the other was saying. They could only wait, and hope Maddy revived on her own. It was nearly ten minutes before Carter found herself sitting beside Vala.

"You wanna explain _that_ to me?" she asked Vala.

"Not exactly," Vala grimaced. "Maddy, are you still with us?"

The rope went slack and a moment later Maddy staggered out of the cave. She sank to the ground beside Jack, touched his head, then collapsed in a heap beside him.

Carter and Teal'c stared at each other as Vala assessed the general's injuries.

"He's got a gash on his head and a broken shoulder. How in the world are we gonna get the three of you back to the beach where Cam can pick you up?"

Maddy groaned and clutched at her head. "Gimme a minute and I'll do it. Better notify Cam while those things are still busy back there. _If_ they're still busy back there..."

"Why didn't you answer your radios?" Vala asked. "We've been trying to raise you for ages."

"There must be a natural, low-level energy emission coming from a deep strata layer of this planet. Fits with the gravity well theory," Carter told her. "We were down in there far enough for it to interfere with the radio signal- all we could get was a hum. We could hear- and feel- the mortars, but that was about it." She looked from Vala to Maddy. "How the hell...?"

"Long story, Colonel Carter," Vala told her. "Let's get off this horrid planet first, shall we?"

"Will you go back first, Vala?" Maddy requested. "Then I can send Jack and you'll be there to protect him until I can get the rest of us transported."

"Absolutely. Colonel Mitchell should pick him up first, get him to sickbay."

Vala turned on her radio and made a rapid, concise report to Mitchell then turned the radio off again. Maddy stared hard at Vala, closed her eyes and envisioned the pod, and Vala disappeared. She winced and grabbed her head.

"_You're _doing that?" Sam asked incredulously.

Maddy gave her a pain-filled squint and nodded tiredly. "Turn on your radio. Make sure Vala is where she should be before I send Jack."

"Vala, where are you?"

"Right beside the pod. Nice work, Maddy."

"Turning the radio off again," Carter replied.

Maddy looked at Jack, closed her eyes, and he disappeared in another flash of light. Sam's jaw dropped. Maddy held up a hand and slowly dropped over in a dead faint.

By the time Maddy came to and got Carter, Teal'c and herself transported back to the pod on the beach, Mitchell had already left with Jack. Two more F-302s had landed. The pilots had their hands full trying to lever Teal'c up into one of the ships while Vala held off an incoming swarm of creatures. The ground began to transmit a faint tremor.

"Too many 302s!" Carter yelled. "Get those ships out of here!"

"Go," Vala told her. "I'll stay with Maddy until Cam gets back."

The pilot was frantically waving them towards the ship. "I can take you and Vala both, Colonel," he shouted. "Colonel Mitchell is coming through the field now to get Mrs. O'Neill."

The three women opened fire on the flood of creatures.

"Get that ship in the air," Carter yelled into her radio.

The F-302 with Teal'c aboard lifted off as another 302 broke through the field.

"NO!" Carter shouted in frustration. She keyed her radio as Maddy and Vala laid down a withering fire. "Break off! Break off! Relay my orders: Do not send more than one ship at a time! Cam, do you read?"

"Kinda busy, Sam," he replied briskly.

"All 302 pilots, listen up!" she barked. "Make an inland pass to help Colonel Mitchell draw them off the beach then return to the Odyssey and stay there!"

Mitchell did a strafing run, decoying the largest of the creatures away from the beach. Maddy watched in awe as he dipped and circled, taunted and fed the monsters with laser fire to draw their attention.

"Get aboard, Colonel," the pilot called frantically.

"I gave you an order, Airman! Get that ship out of here!"

The pilot climbed aboard and lifted off.

"I'm out of ammo," Sam called.

Vala tossed her a clip. "That's my last one."

"I've got two," Maddy told them.

They began picking their shots more carefully. The bigger creatures had turned back into the forest and they had only the smaller ones to deal with.

"They're going right across the fire line," Mitchell's voice came across the radio. "Doesn't faze them a bit."

"We're almost in the clear," Carter told him. "Get up above that field and give them time to settle down."

"I could take somebody with me."

"Negative. We need to let these creatures calm down. Electronic signals excite them, drive them crazy. Give them a couple of hours, Cam. Then one 302 at a time, in and out quickly."

"What if we launch the entire squadron and spread them out inland?"

"It'll backfire," Sam responded. "It would draw a lot of them away, but not enough. That much stimulation would create such a frenzy bullets might not even stop them. It makes them incredibly aggressive, heightens their senses so that even the nominal output of our implants is magnified."

"Alright. I'm breaking off. I'll check back in twenty minutes or so."

"Negative, Cam," she insisted. "Give it two hours, and when you come back stay well out over the water and right up against that field. I'll turn my radio back on at," she glanced at her watch, "Nineteen hundred hours."

"Understood. Mitchell out."

Carter turned off her radio, winced, and lowered herself into the sand with her back against the pod. Maddy dug an energy bar out of her vest and handed it to her. Vala saw and did the same. Carter accepted them gratefully and had them gone in record time.

"I wish you'd gone when you had the chance, Sam," Maddy said softly.

Carter shrugged. "Would have taken me forever to get this leg into that ship."

"And three weapons are better than two," Vala said.

"Thanks, Sam," Maddy said gently. "That leg has to be hurting like hell."

Carter shrugged them off self-consciously. "Tell me how you managed to beam us out of there."

Maddy related the story as they kept careful watch for more creatures. By the time Mitchell made contact, they had seen not a single spider and the ground had stopped trembling.

"Sam, Vala is small enough to squeeze in there with you," Maddy suggested. "If both of you go now, it'll make one less trip, one less opportunity for them to become agitated again."

"We can't leave you here alone, Maddy."

"One of us has to stay here alone at some point," Vala argued. "Maddy, you go with Colonel Carter. I'll catch the second ride."

"No way will I fit in there with her. You might."

"Then you go first and the two of us will wait," Sam said firmly.

Maddy and Vala both shook their heads. They had seen how much pain Carter was in, her need for food and water.

"Sam, you're on the verge of shock. You need to get to sickbay. I've got a full clip left and they haven't bothered us for two hours."

"And she _can_ beam away if they start to overwhelm her position," Vala agreed reluctantly.

"As long as Cam doesn't decide to stop for lunch..." Maddy added.

Mitchell set down on the beach and the two woman helped Colonel Carter into the ship. When Vala began to wedge herself in beside the colonel, Mitchell watched dubiously.

"You'll have to share the oxygen." He winced when Carter couldn't bite back a cry of pain as Vala bumped her broken leg.

They couldn't get the canopy closed.

"I'll wait," Vala said.

"Lay on your back across Sam's lap," Maddy suggested. "Bend your legs and brace your feet against the canopy."

Vala quickly removed her boots, tossed them out onto the beach, then flipped her vest after them. Mitchell tried not to laugh as Vala and Sam twisted themselves into the tiny space.

He turned to Maddy. "You wanna sit in my lap?"

She laughed at him. "Just hurry back, Cam."

"The general's gonna kill me for leaving you here alone."

"The general is unconscious. Get going."

Mitchell didn't waste time arguing. Maddy covered her face as the F-302 lifted off, then watched it climb out of sight.

The emptiness of the planet settled over her. The sun had nearly set, and in the stillness she could hear the chattering of the spider-creatures. She tried not to think about them, tried not to panic. She focused on Jack, prayed he was alright. She glanced around nervously, fighting back panic, tamping down the urge to get up and run just for the sake of running. The darkness of the forest was edging towards the beach, and she was starting to breathe harder.

The F-302 broke through the atmosphere and made a low sweep over the water. Maddy stood gratefully and shielded the direct sunlight from her eyes as she watched Mitchell come in for a vertical landing.

The monster spider rose out of the water without warning. It reared high on four legs and enveloped the craft in the other four. The F-302 disappeared into the water almost in an instant, leaving nothing but a large ripple to wash onto shore.

**Chapter Eleven**

Maddy tried to scream but no sound would emerge. She took several fast breaths then closed her eyes and pictured Mitchell in the cockpit. He appeared beside her, dripping water and sputtering, still trying to loosen his flight restraints, still wearing his helmet and oxygen mask.

"Cam! Are you alright?" she cried as she threw herself down beside him.

He was still fighting, still in shock. She raked the helmet off his head, grabbed his face and called to him. He blinked a few times, rolled his eyes all around them, then gasped hard as if he had been holding his breath.

"Cam, " she said more evenly. "You're alright. You're safe."

His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he stared at her. Then he wrapped his arms around her and hung on for dear life. Maddy hugged him hard.

After a few moments Cam drew back and stared at her.

"The general is gonna kill me," he gasped.

"Tell him to flake off- he's not your CO anymore," she grinned.

"I'll gasp that with my dying breath," he panted dryly. He looked past her shoulder at the still water. "We really don't wanna stay here."

"It's getting dark- I really don't wanna go back into those woods."

"Can't you transport us... somewhere?"

"My head is raging- it'll be a little while. But I don't know where we'd go that's any better than this."

He wiped the water from his face. "We probably should stick close by so they can find us."

"Your implant, Cam. We need to get rid of it."

"Shit, yeah." He drew his knife.

Maddy took it from him and probed his arm until she found the tiny device. Grimacing, she made a small incision. Cam squeezed the cut and popped the device out. He placed it on the pod and used the handle of the knife to smash it.

"Your radio off?"

He touched the button. "It is now."

"So now we wait?" Maddy asked.

"Yeah, unless you can beam us back up."

She shook her head. "I'm afraid to try. I haven't done anything that big yet, and with the gravity field..."

"All we know for sure is that the Asgard beam won't work coming _down_ through that field. Haven't been able to try beaming anything _up_."

"The gravity well pulls downward..." Maddy mused.

"Try something small first."

"We have no way of knowing whether or not it got there."

"Maddy, we need to send them some sort of message. They have no way of knowing what happened."

"How long before they guess and send another 302?"

"Too damned long." He glanced around. "You didn't happen to bring along a pen and piece of paper?"

She shook her head. "I'm not giving up a weapon. I could send my bra- Jack would get _that_ message. If he's conscious yet."

"_That_ would bring him back from the dead," Cam said dryly. "You're just itching to get me killed." Then his eye fell on the smashed implant. "Send that," he pointed. "Sam will figure out what it means."

"If Sam is still conscious." Maddy closed her eyes and concentrated. The light flashed, but the pieces remained. She shook her head. "Gimme a minute and I'll try again. My head is splitting. Feels like my brain is on fire."

"Ummm, make it a fast minute." His eyes were on the water.

Maddy turned to look. A large area of the ocean was moving. She started shaking. Cam dragged her around the pod and pushed her down flat along it's length. He threw his body on top of hers, the P90 gripped in his right hand.

"Maybe it's not hungry after eating the 302," he said into her ear. "Lay real still. Hopefully it'll step right over us and keep going."

"Or step right _on_ us," she said into the sand.

"Shhh."

The ground shook as the incredibly enormous creature waded ashore. The smell was so horrible that Maddy gagged. Cam slipped his hand over her mouth so if she screamed it would be muffled. She tried to raise her head but he held her down. She began to panic. The more she struggled the tighter he held her.

"Maddy!" he whispered frantically. "Be still!"

"I can't breathe!" she panted. "Don't hold me down!"

His hold loosened but he didn't move. Maddy closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"Let me look at it," she pleaded.

"You don't wanna see it, trust me."

She threw an elbow up into his ribs. "Damn it, Cam..." She tried to crawl forward out from under him.

"Maddy! Stop it!" he growled into her ear. "It's nearly on top of us!"

"I know! I need to see it to..." She gave a mighty heave and rolled him aside, then crabbed around the end of the pod. She had to turn onto her back and look straight up to see the creature. Cam emptied the P90 into its head with no effect. It had to crouch and look straight down to see them, which it did. A thunderous chatter nearly deafened them, the clicking of its pincers sounding like cables on the mast of a ship during a high wind. Maddy closed her eyes.

The horrific creature disappeared.

Maddy fainted.

Cam rolled flat on his back with a loud groan.

When Maddy awoke she was laying with her head in Cam's lap. He was peering into the darkness, the empty P90 still uselessly gripped in one hand. She gasped then moaned softly.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"I think so. Where's that implant?"

"I didn't move it. Where'd you send that monster?"

"The other side of the planet. Near the sphere. I hope."

She closed her eyes and the implant disappeared. Her body went limp again and Cam made a worried face.

It was another two hours before a 302 settled into the sand. Cam bent forward and sheltered Maddy's face. When the dust settled, Jack was standing over them. Cam groaned. The general had his arm in a sling, his face pinched and starkly white in the faint moonlight.

"She hurt?" he barked, crouching down to touch her face.

"No, Sir, just passed out from using that beaming technology."

They could hear the creatures coming through the forest.

"Let's get outta here," O'Neill said grimly.

"Take her," Mitchell urged. "Come back for me."

"Flight crew tore out the seat and everything else they could safely eliminate. We're all going." He started to lever her over his good shoulder but Mitchell stopped him.

"I've got her. Go get situated and I'll hand her up to you."

"You think I'm gonna let _you_ fly us outta here?" Jack sniped. "Where's _your_ ship?"

"In the belly of the biggest damned spider I _never _hope to see again."

Jack helped Cam lift Maddy in a fireman's carry then slung the discarded P90s over his shoulder.

"Go!" he ordered, laying down a line of fire one-handed at the approaching mass of creatures.

Cam raced for the F-302, Jack hot on his heels. Jack scrambled up into the rear compartment and between them they got Maddy slung across the opening. Cam dove into the cockpit and lifted off while Maddy's legs were still hanging out over the side. He lifted the 302 high out of reach then eased along until they got situated.

"Do not close the canopy!" Jack yelled. "I haven't got her in yet!" He tried to squeeze himself to one side and winced as something dug into his injured shoulder. She was practically folded double in his lap, but her legs wouldn't fit inside. He pushed her shoulders back, dragged her butt forward, leaned over, and worked her knee up around the back of his neck. Her other knee flopped against the instrument panel and looped over the stick. He leaned his forehead against her inner thigh and tried to breathe. He got her foot wedged under his arm.

"How's it coming back there, General?"

"Just keep us outta the drink," Jack sniped.

Her one arm was still dangling outside the ship. Jack gritted his teeth and strained blindly until he got it worked inside without breaking her elbow in the process. He grappled his fingers up the back of her shirt until he reached her neck and could tip her head forward.

"Ease the canopy down until I see if she's all in," he rasped.

Mitchell slowly lowered the canopy. The edges all connected.

"Close it up and get us back before she wakes up!" Jack panted. "And before my morphine wears off!"

"Give her air, General, then put the mask on. I'll get there as quick as I can."

"Air my ass- I can't reach it for either of us! My lungs are crushed in half anyway."

"Shall I attempt a hyper-space burst through the field?"

"Just fly the damned ship, Crash."

"I didn't crash," Cam shot back. "I got eaten!"

"If we're both unconscious when they try to pry us outta here," Jack threatened, "I had better not find out somebody took pictures!"

"Aww, General, nobody would think of doing that," Mitchell promised. "The security video will sell much better. Initiating hyper-space burst."

Maddy didn't wake up until two days after they got back to Earth. Jack sat dozing in a chair beside the bed, his hand wrapped around hers. Colonel Carter and Teal'c lay sleeping in the next two beds. Daniel sat watching as Vala used the Gou'ald healing device on Carter. Maddy blinked at Daniel, who put a cautioning finger to his lips. She rubbed a hand over her face. Dr. Lam came in and went to Maddy first.

"How do you feel?" she asked quietly.

Maddy closed her eyes and touched a hand to her head.

"Alright, we aren't sure how to deal with this. I can give you pain meds for the headache."

Maddy nodded, then grasped the doctor's sleeve as she turned to leave. Her eyes darted to Jack and back.

"His shoulder is dislocated, not broken. Miss Mal Doran will work on him after she sees to Colonel Carter and has a break. Teal'c's injuries are all but healed, but she has to rest between sessions."

Maddy nodded and closed her eyes again. A thump on her chest brought them open again and she was staring at Bonnie, who was staring down at her, wagging her stub of a tail. Maddy gasped, winced, and moved the dog's foot off her breast.

Jack opened his eyes and straightened. He saw the dog and raised his eyebrows. Maddy blinked at him. A second later Diamond was nosing his chest. Her hooves slipped on the smooth floor and Jack scooped his good arm around to her steady her.

"Maddy..."

Maddy shrugged helplessly. A huge bouquet of roses appeared on the table between her and Sam. A zat gun materialized in Jack's lap.

"Jack...!"

Daniel was staring from one object to another. Vala shut off the healing device and sat down, her body drained. A blanket appeared out of nowhere to cover her. A hot cup of coffee appeared in Daniel's hand and he started, juggled it, spilled the steaming liquid over his hands.

"Ouch!" he said in surprise.

"Maddy, what's..." Jack started to ask.

General Landry appeared, took a stumbling step, and dumped his coffee down the front of his white shirt.

"I can't control it!" she cried frantically.

"What the hell is going on?" Landry demanded.

Teal'c sat up on the edge of his bed, watching with interest, poised to help if he could. Sam slept peacefully.

A spider creature from the planet, one the size of a baseball, scurried across the floor. Jack jumped up and stomped on it.

"We'd better do something before..."

A scream echoed in the corridor. Shots were fired. There was a loud thump. Landry bolted for the door.

"Jack," Daniel called urgently. When he spun around Daniel indicated the zat in his hand. He shook his head.

"Do it, Jack."

Maddy was panting in fear and confusion. Items from the lodge began appearing in the room: A chair. A soup pot. Her laptop. Opera CDs. A bale of hay. A clothes basket full of dirty laundry. Fishing poles. Three wild rabbits that immediately scattered. Daniel made a grab for one as it made a sideway slide under Maddy's bed. One of her hanging flower baskets appeared on the IV pole- complete with a hummingbird that instantly darted towards Teal'c, paused, changed direction, then zigzagged through the door. Jack raised the zat gun but Dr. Lam appeared between him and Maddy. She wobbled, caught her balance, then pushed the zat sideways.

"We don't know what that will do to her, General. It might short-circuit the device."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Daniel asked.

"We can't know..."

"I believe the device has already short-circuited," Teal'c intoned.

Maddy disappeared.

Everyone in the room turned to stare at the empty bed. Bonnie sniffed the pillow where her head had been, then she disappeared. One by one all of the items disappeared. Jack lowered the zat and stared at the bed, scowling and helpless.

"Oh, boy," Daniel muttered.

Jack hurried around the bed and picked up the phone. He dialed and shuffled restlessly, then finally slammed the phone back down. He pivoted, glanced from Daniel to Teal'c, then gestured his frustration.

"She must be at the lodge," Daniel offered.

"Or perhaps Nirrti's planet," Teal'c suggested.

"She _wouldn't_ have gone back to that planet with all the spider creatures," Vala added.

"Not on purpose," Jack snapped. "She said she couldn't control it."

"What are we going to do?" Vala asked.

"About what?" Sam asked sleepily. "What's going on?"

They all traded looks. Jack threw his hands in the air.

An Asgard appeared in the room.

"I am Forseti. Thor has asked me to monitor Loki."

"Forseti- Norse god of justice," Daniel mused.

The being inclined his head, not unlike Teal'c. "Your wife is safe, O'Neill. She is aboard Loki's science vessel. I have reversed the effects of the tremor. She will be returned to you in due time."

"What's he doing to her?" Jack demanded.

"Trauma and overuse before she was prepared has confused the portion of her brain that regulates the implant."

"She short-circuited?" Jack yelled. "Tell _Loki_ to just remove the damned thing!"

Forseti blinked at him stoically. "Thor has thoroughly questioned Loki and the determination has been made that removal is impossible, unless, of course, you are uncaring of the permanent damage done to the specimen."

"I want her back _undamaged_!" Jack shouted. "_Now!_"

"You wish to have her returned before Loki has completed the adjustments?" Forseti asked calmly.

Jack glared at the being. "No," he grumped defensively. "But tell him not to screw around up there!"

"I am unfamiliar with the terminology," the Asgard told him.

"Jack doesn't want Loki to do anything more than is necessary to repair what's wrong with Maddy," Daniel interjected before Jack could relate the wrong message.

Jack gestured hopelessly and sat on the edge of the bed.

"The flaw is minor and easily corrected. Your mate will need to rest her mind, let the interface adjust and compensate. She will be unharmed by the experience." The being flashed away.

Jack stared at Daniel. "I can't take this."

Daniel blew out his cheeks.

Landry stormed into the ward. "What the _hell_ is going on?" he demanded.

Daniel related the latest news. Landry shook his head, turned on his heel, and left without a word.

"Maddy is... What did... Why'd you let me sleep through all the excitement?" Carter asked.

"Next time, Carter, I'll sleep through it and you can have the nervous breakdown!"

**Chapter Twelve**

Jack recast his line and glanced over at Maddy. She had a bite, but hadn't noticed. He didn't mention it. It wasn't important.

"You okay?" he asked gently.

"Headache."

"Maddy... Let's rent a sail boat. A big one. Spend a year in the South Pacific. Or the Mediterranean. Just you and me. Only one change of clothes."

"Only one change of clothes?" she echoed.

"For special occasions, like getting supplies. Or shopping for souvenirs. We'll spend the rest of the time naked."

She let her head fall back and closed her eyes. "Ummm..."

"What? You like the idea?"

Her smile was soft, her expression dreamy. "I'm visualizing you standing in the prow, your legs braced against the roll of the boat, holding onto a mast cable. You haven't shaved for a couple of days, your skin is bronzed from the sun. You're naked, and there's a faint spray of sea water misting your body..."

The tingle that started in his toes raced upward. The fire she ignited in his belly raced downward. When the two sensations met in his groin it was an explosion he nearly couldn't contain.

She rolled her head towards him and opened her eyes. "Make love to me, Blackbeard."

"Blackbeard?" he pouted. "I was hoping for _Long_ John Silver..."

She laughed at him. "Big Jack O'Neill, scourge of the Mediterranean, breaker of hearts, a scoundrel and a scallywag. Knave of the open seas. Keeps a woman onboard because without her he'd starve to death."

"You're shivering me timbers," he growled. "Get ye naked, wench. Me sword needs polishin'!"

She giggled, peeled off her T shirt and threw it at him. But Jack saw her wince and knew her head was still hurting.

"Is it too soon for you to take more aspirin?"

She shook her head. "I'm okay."

"I'm serious, Maddy. I want us to go away- for a long time. Get away from all this."

"Yeah, Jack, we'll rent a boat and hit the open seas," she said wryly. "No phones, no computers, no radios. Then we'll get shipwrecked on an island filled with hungry cannibals. While we're trying to hide from them, some weird alien will find us and..."

"Will we still be naked?"

"You will. My boobs burn in the sun." She massaged her temple and tried not to let him see her pain.

"Go in and lay down," he suggested, reeling in his line. "Lean your pole on the rail- I'll take care of it for you."

She stopped in front of him, caught his head in her hands, and their eyes met for a moment. Her pain and fear passed unspoken between them. She cradled his face between her breasts and stroked the back of his head, the back of his neck. Jack let his hands wander over the backs of her legs. When he pushed away it was to unfasten her shorts and slide them off. He drew a line of kisses across her belly then gently bit her hip. He gripped her haunches and leaned back to look up at her.

"Go on in. I'll be right behind you."

"Jack? Promise to take my mind off... everything?"

"I promise."

She offered him a stiff smile and moved away. After the door slid closed behind her Jack took her pole and landed a sizable trout. He removed the barbless hook and freed the fish.

"Only damned time I catch one is on _her_ line," he muttered to the palomino filly nosing his pocket. He withdrew a lump of sugar and gave it to her. She wandered down the deck and out into the yard to graze. Jack looked out over the lake and sighed. Maddy was taking all of this so hard. She hated not being in control of herself, hated all the undo attention. It was wearing on her nerves, making her withdrawn and edgy. He had tried to talk to her about it, but how to convince her to accept the unacceptable when he didn't accept it himself?

He needed to take her away, and admitted to himself he needed the escape as much as she did. He'd never felt so trapped, so helplessly unable to fix a situation. Why couldn't this stuff happen to him instead of her? He hated to see her stub a toe let alone all the agony and terror she had faced since meeting him. There was a slowly growing, ever expanding panic in his chest that was becoming hard to tolerate. She was such a free spirit, so damned independent and adventurous, he knew trying to shelter her would only cause a rift between them. But how was he going to survive bringing one more calamity down on her? He had to think outside the box, because trying to stuff her into a velvet box for safe keeping was not an option. Maddy would never stand for it.

The first step was obvious: He needed to quit the SGC. Remove himself from the day to day perils like giving in and taking her down onto that planet with those spider creatures. Get her away from the suspicious little accidents that were cropping up in the commissary. He knew she didn't suspect anything, but he was becoming more and more convinced that someone had it out for her over having shut down O'Hara's drug business.

Quitting would take care of the future. Then he'd have to find a way to deal with protecting her from his past.

As for the present- he had a beautiful, naked, and willing woman waiting for him in the bedroom.

He was her hero. She saw him as dashing and fearless and invincible. She didn't understand how his love for her was making him weak, vulnerable, frightened, helpless... Jack forced himself to shake out of this fruitless insight and go to his wife.

Maddy was laying on her stomach. Jack stretched out on his side and stroked her shoulder.

"Hi." Her voice was muffled by the pillow. He wasn't sure what her sigh meant.

"Hi. How's the head?"

"Really, _really_ screwed up."

"Hurting?"

"Some."She rolled towards him. "Not _that _much, though," she added with a raised eyebrow.

Jack flashed her a grin then sobered. "Babe, I could have Thor contact the Nox. They might be able to undo everything."

Maddy sighed again as she searched his eyes. "My gut reaction is 'Oh yeah, get this outta me.' But Jack, Cam would have died if I hadn't been able to beam him out of the 302. We might not have been able to get Sam and Teal'c out of that hole and back to the beach. And you, Honey, what would I have done, how would Vala and I have gotten you up outta that cavern?"

"Don't think you're gonna tag around after SG-1 just so you can beam their asses out of every jam they get into," he warned.

"But Jack! If I can save their lives...!"

"They manage to do that just fine all on their own."

"They did when you were with them." The adulation in her eyes nearly made him blush.

"Have I told you how proud I am of how you tracked them on that planet? You impressed the hell out of me, Babe. I know those spider things were scaring you silly."

"You just do what has to be done," she shrugged. "And you were there to protect me." She brushed her fingers over his face. "I knew you wouldn't let anything happen. I do have nightmares about them, though."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't want to ask you."

She pressed a finger to his lips. "I'm glad you did. We make a pretty awesome team, O'Neill."

His eyes told her she'd pay for calling him 'O'Neill'. "What, you're awesome and I'm pretty?" He nipped at her fingertip.

"If you're in the mood to bite..."

"I'm in the mood to make love to you the rest of the afternoon, take you out for a late dinner, then make love to you on the way home as a warm up for making love to you all night."

"Jack. I can beam things _around_- not _up_."

"You're all the incentive I need. ...Maddy, we need to discuss this new ability of yours."

She shifted and gave him a curious look.

"I know you, Babe. You cannot beam every puppy out of every well and every trapped person out of wherever they're trapped."

"But if I can help..."

"I know. But you can't save the world. You can't try, or it'll drive you insane. I want your promise right now that you won't take it personally, get all depressed and upset every time somebody dies because you feel you should have done something."

"I can't make that promise," she told him with a frown. "Maybe God gave me this gift..."

"_God_ didn't _give _it to you! _Loki_ forced you into getting it. If he had asked first, would you have gone through with it?"

"No. But don't tell Cam that. Or Sam, or Teal'c. And what about you?"

"I understand that. But you have such a big, tender heart- you refuse to quit if you're helping somebody. You'll run yourself right into the ground, not to mention_ nuts_ when you miss something. Look at it from this angle: How will anyone explain somebody abruptly riding a beam of light out of a burning building or a mine cave-in or mud slide or a plane crash? You have to consider the Stargate Program and it's secrecy. The bigger picture, Babe."

He could see by her expression that he was finally getting to her.

"As of right now, all news programs are banned from this household."

"No way!" she yelped.

"Uh uh ah!" he stopped her. "I'll move us lock, stock, and barrel to Nirrti's planet if you start trying to play super hero."

She sighed and chewed on her lip. "I'll keep that in mind," she told him. "But I won't promise never to help somebody. Especially SG-1."

"_That's_ another thing," he said ominously. "You are _not_ a part of SG-1. I know they're your friends- they're mine too. But you can't take personal responsibility for every tight spot they get into. They have training and experience. I'm gonna be really pissed if you go traipsing off into potentially lethal situations just to bail them out."

Her eyes went wide. "You can't be serious!"

"As a heart attack," he said grimly. "I don't wanna see them hurt or killed anymore than you do, but you can't consider yourself their guardian angel. Neither can they."

"It's not like Landry is gonna offer me a P90 and a jacket with a patch on the arm."

"Damn straight he isn't."

"But if they call for me- I'm going."

Jack sighed. "They won't put you in that position. But if the occasion arises- and you just _have_ to go- you have to promise to take me along to watch your six. I won't get as mad if you don't go behind my back."

"Sure you will," she laughed. "For all the good it'll do."

He tried to glare at her, but the way her eyes were dancing made him smile instead. "Woman, why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm really great in bed?" she teased as she started to slip the buttons on his shirt. "Is the lecture over, Boss? Can I get to work now?"

"Work, is it?" he growled.

"Labor of love?"

He rolled her back and kissed her. "Tell you what. If you don't bring up that headache I know you have, I'll do all the work this time."

She laid an arm across her forehead in exaggerated distress. "You'll have to work _really _hard. I'm in dire need."

"Sometimes that Ancient enhancement just keeps me going." He nuzzled her neck. "Other times," he breathed into her ear, "It turns me into an insatiable _machine_."

"I haven't noticed the difference," she giggled. "You're always like the Energizer Bunny."

"You have that effect on me. Love to bang that drum..."

The phone interrupted his ardent kiss and he groaned. He gave her another quick kiss, rolled over and snatched the culprit off the stand.

"O'Neill," he growled. Maddy's fingers were working at the button of his waistband. He hitched his hips so she could have better access.

"Jack, we've got trouble brewing. We might need you."

"Might?" Jack responded with a glance at Maddy.

"We just received a message from Thor- can you come to the base?"

Jack made a disgusted face. "Fate of the world stuff, Hank?"

"Eventually, yes. I can't say more over the phone."

"On my way." He snapped the phone closed and dropped his head.

"You have to go," she said gently.

"Sounds important." He kissed her again, then went back for seconds. Her eyes drew him in and he sighed. "I love you so much, Maddy. I'll come back as soon as I save the world _again._"

"I promise you a hero's welcome," she smiled. "Be safe. Don't you dare leave me."

"Not a chance." He dragged himself away and rebuttoned his shirt, then draped a sheet over her. "Get lots and lots of sleep. You're gonna need it."

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Thor has reason to believe a contingent of Advanced Replicators are headed for Atlantis," Landry said as he refilled his coffee cup.

"How the hell..." Jack stopped then made a face. "It doesn't matter _how_, does it? Won't the Ancient weapon take them out?"

"We're not sure it's a viable option," Landry said ominously. "I contacted Weir and they're on alert, but the Wraith have been hammering them pretty hard. The Odyssey is enroute with another ZPM SG-1 stumbled on during their last mission. McKay is working on a way to link the weaker ZMPs together, and we aren't sure how much power this new one has left in it."

"So right now they have a choice between shielding the city and using the weapon?"

Landry pulled a face. "They're out of drones- the weapon won't do them much good. The shield is their best hope."

"Even if they managed to get enough power to lower the city, it won't help against the Replicators."

Landry shook his head. "I've got Carter and Jackson headed to Atlantis, but the rest of SG-1 has to keep after that weapon to stop the Ori."

"What can I do?" Jack asked.

"I'm not sure, but the Odyssey is due to check in and I want you on hand."

"Have Daniel check into that Ancient data base," Jack suggested. "Tell him to ask it if there's a stock pile of drones somewhere."

Landry froze with his coffee cup half way to his mouth. He raised his eyebrows. "Good thought."

Jack shrugged. Landry would be surprised what he could come up with if it meant getting back to his wife sooner.

"Is the Odyssey using the new bridge McKay was devising?"

Landry nodded. "They'll reach Atlantis's orbit anytime now." He started to take a drink again and was interrupted by Sergeant Harriman.

"The Odyssey is reporting in, Sir. I have Colonel Carter for you."

Jack and Landry both headed for the control room.

"ZPM has been delivered, Sir," she reported. "It's not up to full capacity, but it's more than they had."

"Good. Send the Odyssey back to Earth via the conduit. You and Dr. Jackson stay there. See if you can help McKay devise those jumper cables he was talking about. General O'Neill suggested Dr. Jackson ask the Ancient data base if there's a stockpile of drones out there somewhere."

"Yes, Sir," she replied. "Anything else?"

"Keep us posted on the situation with the Wraith, and let us know if the Replicators enter the Pegasus Galaxy. Other than that, just let us know what you need, Colonel."

"Yes, Sir. Carter out."

The two generals headed back for the briefing room.

"If they do find a stockpile of drones somewhere," Jack was saying, "How the hell do you transport them?"

Both men pulled up short.

Maddy was sleeping on the briefing table, complete with sheet and pillow.

Landry and O'Neill looked at each other.

"I'll just... uh," Landry jerked a thumb over his shoulder and made a discreet exit.

Jack walked up to the table and took a seat near her head. He spent a moment just staring at her, a tender expression on his face. He propped his elbow on the table, dropped his chin in his hand, and said softly, "Maddy."

She stirred and opened her eyes. Her smile melted his heart.

"Back already?" she murmured.

"Nope."

She frowned and raised a hand to wipe the sleep from her eyes. Her elbow smacked into the table.

"Ouch!" Her eyes widened. Not moving, she looked around the room.

"Hi," Jack said dreamily.

"Oh, no!" she gasped. Red-faced, she struggled with the sheet and the slippery table top to sit up. Jack helped her swing her legs over the edge then tucked the sheet around her bare back.

"We have to stop meeting like this," he teased.

"I must have fallen asleep thinking about you..."

"That's nice to hear. Can you transport yourself back home?"

She grimaced. "I'll try."

"Call me so I know you ended up where you're supposed to."

"I will. ...Jack?"

"Hmmm?"

"I know it's not 'right', but will you kiss me first?"

He stood and cradled her face in his hands. "To hell with decorum." He kissed her, long and hard, then smoothed his thumbs over her cheeks. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Okay. I love you."

He replied in kind, but she was gone before the words were finished. Sergeant Harriman walked into the room and looked startled.

"Uh... Sir?" he said uncertainly.

"I was talking to my _wife_," Jack said sourly.

Harriman glanced around the room. He nodded slowly. "Uh, yes, Sir. Umm, General Landry has requested your presence in his office."

Jack stalked past him without making eye contact. Harriman took a quick glance under the table before he followed the retired general from the room.

Jack rose and was taking his leave when Sergeant Harriman met him at the door to Landry's office.

"Dr. Jackson is waiting to speak with you, Sir."

Jack followed Landry to the control room. Daniel was on the computer monitor, fiddling with something out of sight.

"Dr. Jackson," Landry greeted. "Good news, I hope?"

"I hope so, Sir. Uh, hi, Jack."

Jack waved briefly.

"Um, the Ancient data base shows several locations of stored drones, but until we find them there's no way of knowing if they're still good. One of the locations is in a cavern under the sea, here at Atlantis. Sheppard and McKay are taking a jumper down to see if they can locate them. Dr. Weir is monitoring their progress and she asked me to give you a report. Sam is working on the power link- I think she's glad to have McKay out of her hair..."

"Well done, Doctor. Where are the other locations?"

"There seems to be one near the Ancient weapon in Antarctica. I'm downloading the coordinates now."

"As soon as we get them I'll send a team out to look. Anything else?"

"Not at the moment, Sir. The database is still searching. I'll report back if I find anything else. Dr. Weir will report as soon as Sheppard and McKay have any information."

"Thank you. Landry out." He turned to Jack. "Have Maddy shake the dust off your parka, Jack."

"Antarctica," Jack muttered. "Lovely."

"With SG-1 tied up, you're the only one on base with any knowledge or experience dealing with this Ancient stuff. I'd like you to join the expedition."

"Without a ship," Jack muttered.

Landry grinned. "Gotta do it the old fashioned way. You could always take Maddy along to beam you around."

"Like you'd authorize _that_."

"Like you'd let her go if I did," Landry shot back.

Jack grimaced. "I wanna keep her as far away from this stuff as I can."

Landry laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know, Jack. Head home and pack a warbag. I'll call you as soon as the mission is a 'go'. I need to talk to the President."

**Chapter Fourteen**

Jack stood inside the hollowed-out cavern of ice and stared up at the wall of yellow drones. It had taken his team a nearly month to locate the Ancient weapons, utilizing the Odyssey's sensors and beaming capabilities when it was available. He keyed his radio.

"Beam me up, Scotty."

"Uh, Sir, this is Lieutenant Briggs. Stand by."

"No sense of humor," Jack muttered as he was enveloped by a flash of light. When he was back aboard the bridge of the ship he headed for the communications console and took a recently vacated seat. "Get Landry for me," he said to the tech, rubbing his hands together and blowing on them. An ensign handed him a steaming cup of coffee. He smiled his thanks.

"What have you got, Jack?" Landry sounded harried.

"Found 'em, Hank. A whole friggin' wall of them. Encased in ice, more than a mile down. About six clicks from where the chair platform is."

"I hope it's not too late," Landry responded. "Dr. Weir just reported that the Replicators have entered the Pegasus Galaxy. They're dancing with the wraith at the moment."

"Repli-wraith?" Jack winced. "Not good. Carter come up with any way of transporting the drones?"

"She's not sure they can be transported aboard a ship without a strong containment field. Even if the Odyssey could transport them, it would take a hundred trips to get enough there to do any good. But we're considering the plausibility of sending them through a stargate."

"One at a time?" Jack yelped. "How's that gonna help? And _what_ stargate?"

"The one Colonel Mitchell appropriated from the Lucian Rebels. Teal'c had made a deal with the Jaf'fa when we thought we could use it on that planet with the sphere. It's enroute to you now. Dr. Jackson thinks there could be a ZPM there with the drones. The database says there was one stored with them, but we have no way of knowing if it's still there, or if it's already been used."

"It might have been the one that was depleted when we found it."

"If you find one, and it's still good, we have to decide whether to use it to power the stargate to make the Pegasus link, or ship it off to Atlantis to power their shields. Siler is working on a way to link two naquada generators together. If that works, we can send the ZPM to Atlantis. If it doesn't, we'll use it to establish the wormhole and figure out how to ship drones through the gate."

"Shields won't stop the Replicators."

"But it will power the weapon."

"Which is useless without drones," Jack winced. "They have any luck finding a stock pile there?"

"They found a few dead ones. Nothing more. Mitchell and Teal'c are running down another stockpile in another galaxy, but the same problem arises."

Jack drummed his fingers. "I'll go hunt for a ZPM."

"Find it, Jack," Landry warned. "Carter says if the Replicators devour a hive ship, they'll absorb and assimilate their characteristics. We'll have a breed of Advanced Replicator on our hands the likes of which Hell wouldn't have."

"Not to mention they'll know as much about Atlantis's defenses and layout as the Wraith do."

"You'll have to work out of the base camp for awhile, Jack. As soon as the Odyssey delivers that stargate, I need to ship them off to Atlantis. We're evacuating all non-essential personnel, and McKay has requested what's left of our naquada generators."

"You want to try beaming a few drones onboard, see if it works? A few is better than none."

"Let me talk to Carter and McKay first. We can't afford to lose the Odyssey, not with Repli-wraith looming on the horizon."

"Have you talked to Thor? He might have a suggestion."

"Sent a message. Haven't heard back. Jack, I know you don't want to hear this..."

"No," Jack said emphatically.

"She can beam those drones between the two caverns when we will have no other means once the Odyssey leaves for Pegasus. Carter will be more use to us back here, and frankly we can't afford to lose her to the first wave of attack. McKay needs those generators. The Odyssey _has_ to make this trip."

"No."

"It'll take an army a year to pack them across the tundra. By hand. Carrying them up and out of that cavern one at a time..."

Jack closed his eyes. "No."

"It's not like I'm asking her to go to Pegasus, Jack! She'll be perfectly safe at your base camp."

Jack's face showed his anger. "I don't like this, Hank."

"Neither do I. But..."

"How the hell would you handle it if she didn't have that ability?"

"She does, Jack, and we need her."

"Find another way. O'Neill out." Jack cut the connection and turned to the captain. "What are your orders?"

"We're to head for the coordinates of the stargate, pick it up, and deliver it to you. Then resupply and head for Pegasus, Sir."

"Beam us down all the supplies you can spare. Tell Landry I want Siler up here with that gate. Send me down."

"Yes, Sir."

Jack watched the efficient and rapid progress of enlarging the cavern where the Ancient's weapon platform was situated. There was a minor cave-in where the extended ceiling of ice hit a fissure, but there were only two minor casualties. The chief engineer walked up to him.

"We really need to reinforce the ceiling as we go, General. We're weakening the substrata over our heads, and the farther we go, the more fissures we open up."

"It doesn't have to hold indefinitely- just long enough to set up the stargate and ship drones to Pegasus. Keep your people on their toes. Evacuate at the first sign of a major collapse. This is a one-shot deal and time to do it right is something we don't have."

"What if it collapses in on the stargate? Buries it?"

"As long as we can get the drones through first, I don't care," O'Neill replied. "Once we accomplish our objective, we can take as much time as we need to dig it out again."

"Yes, Sir." The army engineer walked away, unhappy with Jack's assessment of the situation.

Jack agreed with him, but it had to be done this way for now. He left the weapon's cavern and used a snowmobile to traverse the frigid distance to where they were uncovering the drones. Things were progressing well there, so he headed for the base camp.

When Jack walked into the make-shift mess in the Antarctic base camp and saw Maddy talking to three techs, his face turned thunderous.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

Maddy turned with a smile that froze then slowly faded. She started towards him, but his fury halted her steps. She frowned.

"Hi, Jack. Remember me?" she asked hesitantly.

"I specifically told Landry you were not to come here."

"He told me. He also explained what this means. I'll be safe, Jack. You're here..."

"I'm not in the mood," he snapped. "I thought we decided you wouldn't do this."

"Jack, this is different."

"This is _exactly_ what I was talking about." He had never been this angry with her. Never felt fury so intense that her eyes, her smile, couldn't drain it away. He turned on his heel and walked away. When he felt her hand on his arm he shook her off then spun and glared at her.

"_What_?"

She stepped back a pace. "I just... Jack, I haven't seen you in over a month. I missed you." She reached out to touch his face.

Jack stopped her hand in mid air, gripped her wrist hard for a moment, then pushed her hand away. He gave her a hard look and left. She didn't follow. He knew she wouldn't. One of the things he loved so much about her was she understood his moods, knew when to give him space. But space wasn't going to ease his fury. This was an anger he wasn't going to be able to walk off. He found the base operations liaison and instructed him quarter Maddy with the tech crew. He was mad at her, he was mad at Landry, he was mad at the Replicators. He didn't want to be around anybody right now. He headed for the cavern.

The crew was carefully chipping away the ice from the wall of drones. The mass seemed to go for ever, and Jack hoped they were still operational. General Landry had appropriated the top techs and scientific minds from all of the SGC and created a specially dedicated SG team under the command of Colonel Collins. He saw the colonel headed towards him and he swore under his breath. He was in no mood for chatter- official or otherwise.

"General O'Neill," the man gave a smart salute which Jack returned sardonically. "I'm having communications centers set up both here and in the cavern where the Ancient weapon is located. It's being routed through the base of operations to the SGC- we can't get enough range down here to reach..."

Jack waved him on impatiently.

The colonel frowned. "General Landry wants us to be able to link to Atlantis through the SGC once we get the stargate situated. There isn't enough room for it here, but we're getting it wedged in beside the chair platform."

"I'm aware," Jack said sternly.

The colonel frowned at the surly reception he was getting. "We're going to use a computer dialing program..."

Jack gave him an exaggerated expression of impatience and glanced pointedly at his watch.

"Uh, Sir, I just wanted to keep you updated. You'll be able to speak to General Landry directly from either cavern within the hour. The Odyssey delivered the gate three hours ago and Sergeant Siler is working on hooking it up now. There's room over there, if you'll okay Mrs. O'Neill to begin transporting drones. They're hoping to use them to help shore up the ceiling. We aren't sure how many she'll be able to move at a time, and she says she needs to see both places in order to..."

"Just get it done," Jack snapped. "You're in charge here."

"She wouldn't come down until you approved it, Sir."

"_I didn't approve her coming here in the first place_," Jack thought darkly. "She's under your command, Collins."

"Yes, Sir," he answered uncertainly. He offered another ignored salute and hurried away.

Jack felt Maddy's presence before he saw her. Her eyes had a stricken look that did nothing to ease his anger, or lighten his mood. They would have to have a long, no doubt heated, conversation when this was over. This was the last straw. They were moving. He'd take her out of the country- out of the galaxy- if that's what it would take to keep her from doing exactly this. Then he was going to pester Thor, Loki, and the Nox until they had that hateful device safely out of her head. He didn't retire from the Air Force and take the civilian oversight position, fall madly in love with a woman he couldn't live without, only to have her used by the SGC in every dangerous situation that came down the pike. She'd see it as being controlled, manipulated, and she'd fight him. But he couldn't live with this. The technology she didn't ask for was going to tear them apart. The constant presence of SG-1 in their lives was going to be a wedge that kept them apart. She couldn't say no to her conscience, couldn't say no to the kids; he couldn't stand to see her risking her life, couldn't handle constantly being forced to share her. And one of these days using that damned device was going to melt her brain. The way her face paled, the pain he saw in her eyes...

Maddy didn't approach him, and he was glad. He took a seat near a heater where they were scrambling efficiently to build a communications center, and watched her. She studied the mountain of drones, walked around the excavation site, then spoke to Colonel Collins. He keyed his radio and the workers immediately moved back from the drones. Maddy closed her eyes and a portion of the wall of drones disappeared. There was a loud creaking crack when the drones parted from the ice. Jack eyed the shards of ice raining down from the ceiling, watched Maddy duck and cover her head, held his breath until they stopped. He turned on his radio so he could monitor the result.

"...Sir. Right where we wanted them," he heard Siler report. "Ask her to send another group, about the same size."

Maddy grimaced and traced an imaginary outline in the air, concentrating.

"Get me a clipboard," Collins said over the radio.

Another chunk of the wall disappeared.

"Perfect, Mrs. O'Neill," Siler said. "Keep 'em coming."

A lab tech handed Collins the clipboard. He passed it to Maddy. Together they did some sketching.

"Right, or left of the last batch?" Collins asked Siler.

"Right on top of them," came the response. "We can go two more high and brace the ceiling."

"They aren't stacked that high in here," Collins responded, motioning for Maddy to wait. "Can they support themselves?"

"Try one more and we'll see."

Collins nodded to Maddy then said, "Get me another radio."

An hour later Maddy, wearing a radio, headset, and ear piece so she could talk directly to Siler, had moved an enormous section of the wall of drones. The more she moved, the more they uncovered. It seemed like an endless supply.

Now if they all worked.

And they could get them to Atlantis.

Jack found himself staring at the coiled white wire running from her ear to the inside of her parka. He hated that wire, hated seeing it on her. It meant she was a part of something she shouldn't be anywhere near. It was obvious to Jack that she was eating this up, delighting in what she was doing. The challenge, the magnitude of what she was handling was feeding a craving for excitement, for adventure, that made her who she was. Made her so exciting to him. But not this way. He was mentally writing his resignation, editing out the vicious parts, when she collapsed.

"Get a medic to the drone cavern!" he barked into the radio as he jumped up and raced to her side. Her face was pale, her expression locked in a wince of pain. Her eyes rolled up and she blacked out. He lifted her off the ice and sat holding her until the medical team arrived.

She came to as they were moving her onto a stretcher and he could tell she was having trouble focusing. He could tell her head hurt like hell. He could tell she would be back at it as soon as she could escape the hands of the field medics. Jack turned and walked away. A shout brought him back around.

"General O'Neill!" One of the men digging at the ice came rushing up to him. "We found another Zero Point Module! It was packed among the drones, Sir. When Mrs. O'Neill moved that last group it was exposed."

Colonel Collins overheard and turned to Jack. "They must have known about how many drones would deplete the first one and planted another in the right spot."

"When you get it out I'll take it to the chair platform and see if it's still working," Jack told him shortly.

"Atlantis will be glad to get it," Collins replied.

Jack grunted and walked away. His mind was on Maddy, not ZPMs and drones. How many times could she take using that damned device in her head until she passed out? How long before it fried her brain, left her a vegetable? How the hell was he going to keep her from destroying herself to help anyone and everyone else? Damn Landry for dragging her into this! Damn her for being so friggin' eager to do what everybody else wanted- against what _he_ wanted!

When Jack slipped the ZPM into the receptacle and pushed down, it lit up brightly. The weapons platform came to life. Jack glanced up at Siler and raised a shoulder.

"Looks good to me, Sir," Siler said. "Will we ship it out to Atlantis on the Odyssey, or through the gate when we get it powered-up?"

"Are those generators going to do the job, or will we need it to power the gate?"

"I'll know in a few minutes, General."

"Talk to Landry," Jack told him. "It's his call."

Siler nodded and turned back to the naquada generators he was hooking into the stargate, leaving Jack to disengage the power unit.

"General O'Neill, please come to the nearest communications center for an urgent communique from General Landry."

Jack left the ZPM where it was, headed to the opposite side of the platform and took the earpiece that was handed to him. Landry was on the video con.

"O'Neill here."

"Jack, we're patching through to Carter. The Replicators just entered Atlantis air space. Go ahead, Colonel."

Jack thought Carter looked nervous. "Generals. The Replicator ship is headed for Atlantis. ETA about ten minutes. Sensors aren't picking up any hive ships- we're going on the assumption that..." She seemed to freeze in mid-sentence.

"Get that communications back online!" Landry barked.

Jack could hear voices in the background. "It's not the video link, Sir. It's something on their end..."

Jack's stomach iced over. "It's time dilation, Hank. The same device we used to suspend animation on them on that planet where we first discovered the Advanced Replicators. With First and Fifth."

"They just... _froze_ them in time?" Landry asked.

"No better way to keep them from defending themselves," Jack growled. "Where's the Odyssey?"

"About half way there."

"I have the stargate online, Sirs," Siler reported. "Should I dial it up?"

"No," Landry said instantly. "No use giving the replicators an arsenal of drones."

"Dial it up," Jack said abruptly.

"You can't go there, Jack. You'll be caught in the same field."

"We have a working ZPM, Hank. I can operate the chair. I'm gonna try to fire the drones from here. Through the gate. With any luck they'll punch right through that time dilation field."

"Do it!" Landry barked.

Jack jerked the earpiece away and raced for the weapons platform. He jammed the ZPM into place and threw himself into the chair. It went into a reclining position as Jack placed both hands on the lighted pads. He closed his eyes and gave his mind over to the weapons controls. The stargate engaged with a whoosh. Drones began glowing, the huge mass quivering and breaking loose in smaller groupings. People scattered as one by one, then in larger groups, the drones broke free and seemed to dive into the event horizon. The entire cavern began to vibrate.

"Evacuate all non-essential personnel!" Colonel Collins barked. "Sergeant Siler, why is the gate shuddering like that?"

"Don't know, Sir."

"Will it stay put?"

"Don't know, Sir, but the roof of this cavern is..." His words were cut short as bits and pieces of ice began raining down on them.

"Everybody out!" Collins shouted. "Get to the surface!"

"What about General O'Neill?"

Jack was oblivious to anything but the task at hand. His mind was imbedded in the technology.

"Out!" Collins shouted.

"Sir, the tunnel has collapsed! We're trapped."

Collins looked up in time to see a huge portion of ice come crashing into the cavern. At the last moment he was beamed away. The spot where he had been standing was filled with ice. The stargate and weapons platform were not yet buried, and the drones bored through the gate at a faster and faster rate.

On Atlantis, the drones exited the stargate and drilled up through the roof. The first few slowed to a near stop as the time dilation field trapped them. But as more and more drones came through the gate, they seemed to hover and vibrate. Abruptly they began moving again. They seemed to pause and amass, forming a giant, pulsing, glowing column. As drone piled on top of drone the column rose and expanded. All at once the column shot into space, enveloping the Replicator ship and vaporizing it.

As if abruptly wakened from an trance, the Atlantis personnel resumed movement, picking up exactly where they had left off when the Replicators stopped time. Collins and Landry saw chaos as Altantis personnel saw drones pouring through their stargate.

"...they were consumed and assimilated. Sir, we need those..." Carter hesitated, turned away, then turned back. "The Replicator ship is gone! Sir, there are drones...!"

"Hold on, Colonel," Landry interrupted. "You were frozen by a time dilation device. General O'Neill is powering the Ancient weapon."

"_Through_ the stargate? From _Antarctica_?" she exclaimed. "The Replicator ship is gone- why is he still launching drones?" She pivoted, then moved sideways away from the camera. "Sir! Three more ships on the sensors. They look like hive ships."

"Then that's why he's still launching drones," Landry said.

"There's a good chance these are Repli-Wraith," Carter said. "They've had time to assimilate."

"Sir, that cavern is all but collapsed," Collins reported. "If he's still launching, he must not be buried yet, but it won't be long. The tunnel is gone."

"Can Maddy get him out?"

"She thinks she can, Sir, but we don't know when to pull him out. If she does it too soon, the ships won't be stopped. It will have all been for nothing."

"And if she waits too long, General O'Neill will be crushed by a mile of collapsing ice," Carter finished, trying not to sound as horrified as she was.

"Sir, Mrs. O'Neill just vanished."

Maddy materialized inside the cavern, covered her head, and darted onto the platform beside Jack. He was still laid back, still launching drones through the gate. Snow and ice were piling up around the gate, the drones cutting a channel through it as they raced for the event horizon. The weapons platform was more than knee-deep in ice. Jack's lap and chest were covered. She looked up and saw multiple cracks chasing each other across the newly opened ceiling of ice. The sound was ear-splitting. She edged closer to the chair, then ducked sideways as a giant spike of ice sliced downward and impaled itself beside the platform. The entire cavern seemed to shudder. The stargate was wobbling, rocking to and fro, nearly dancing off it's supports. The remainder of the mountain of drones abruptly broke formation and flooded through the gate. The ceiling began to crumple and flow inward on a continuous, thunderous, rush of ice and snow.

The chair began to right itself. Jack shuddered and opened his eyes in time to see a white world of death descending onto him. He was watching his own grave being filled in around him.

"_Maddy is safe. Earth and Atlantis and Carter and Daniel are safe. Maddy is safe,"_ he thought with irrational calmness. "_Not a bad day to die. Ahh, Maddy..."_

When he felt Maddy throw herself across his body that peaceful acceptance was shattered.

"**_Nooo!_**" His shout began in the cavern and ended in the base camp. He and Maddy collapsed in a tangle of arms and legs, buried in ice.

They were immediately set upon by base personnel, dug out and pulled free of the ice, then wrapped in blankets. Maddy was unconscious, a great bleeding gash in her head. Jack didn't hear the wild cheers, didn't feel the thumps on his back. He twisted free of the multitude of hands and threw himself towards her. He gathered her into his arms, felt her coldness, saw her blood flowing, watched it stain the crushed ice that covered her face, and he clamped her to his chest. She stirred and he drew her back enough to look into her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked breathlessly, blinking away ice, fighting back the darkness that threatened to envelope her again.

"I'm fine. Maddy... Maddy are you okay?"

She managed a faint smile and a nod. "We got out?"

"We got out. By the skin of our teeth."

She sighed and laid her head on his chest. "I love you, O'Neill."

He brought her chin up and gave her a hard look. "Can you hear me?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You understand what I'm saying to you?"

She nodded again.

"Good. I want a divorce."

**Chapter Fifteen**

Maddy paced the livingroom in the lodge, her eyes red from crying, her face pale and drawn. Daniel and Sam sat on the couch in stunned silence, unable to find words to console her. She paused to stare at each of them in turn, gestured wordlessly, then began pacing again.

"He's just blowing off steam," Daniel suggested. "The trauma, shock, fear... Jack and adrenalin have always been an explosive combination."

Carter raised a skeptical eyebrow at him then grimaced at Maddy.

"He's serious, Daniel. He was pissed that I went up there. He's pissed about this device, pissed that I get myself into trouble with it. He's been pissed a lot lately... Not enough time alone for us. Oh, God! We'll work this out! We have to work this out. I'll do _anything_!"

"Have you talked to him since you got back?"

Maddy shook her head. "He won't answer his cell, won't return my calls. He hasn't been back to work." She whirled when they heard a vehicle. A knock sounded and Maddy fairly flew at the door. It was Landry. His face had a stricken expression. He met Maddy's gaze and caught her as she threw herself at him.

"_No,_ Hank please tell me he's coming home! Please tell me he didn't mean it!"

Landry wrapped her in an embrace and looked at Carter and Daniel over her shoulder. He shook his head briefly.

"He just left my office, Maddy. He took a month's leave- open ended as to whether or not he's coming back to the SGC. He told me..." His voice caught and he cleared his throat. "He said he was going through with the divorce. He asked me to look after you."

Maddy pulled free, leaned against the doorway, and slid down to the floor. She curled into a ball and lay there sobbing as her friends exchanged stunned glances.

Jack sat on the couch in front of the cold fireplace at his camp in Minnesota. He stared into the blackened remains of a fire, his face stony. He was still mad.

He was still mad at Landry for telling her about the situation, for opening doors she had no business going through.

He was still mad at SG-1 for draining his patience and setting him up to be ready to do this.

He was still mad at Maddy for listening to everyone but him, for being so damned stubborn that she would ignore what he wanted. What he knew, damn it, was best for her. Best for both of them.

And now he was mad at himself for not being more patient, more tractable, more accepting. More able to get past being mad enough to want to escape from it all.

This was killing him. The enormity of his emptiness laid on his heart like a cold, hard rock. Letting her go would never be easy, never be less painful than it was in this moment. But he couldn't face a life of watching her suffer, watching her slowly kill herself trying to undo all the wrongs in the world. Never knowing in what instant he would feel her dying in his arms after another stunt like she pulled in that cavern. He hadn't been able to protect her from the Lucian that nearly killed her, had raped and tortured her because of who her husband was. He had watched her battle her way back from mindless terror and memory loss, had agonized with her over the nightmares that tormented her. Now he was the one being tortured, tormented by nightmares of her dying, of her losing her mind to the evil device implanted in her head. She wouldn't listen to his pleas to ignore the ability, shrugged him off when he begged her not to do this to herself. She didn't understand how terrified he had been of watching her go through anymore pain, anymore heartache and suffering. She loved him intensely, but she didn't understand how she was tearing him apart when she couldn't help but throw herself in front of every damned moving train she could find.

He had committed cold-blooded murder, four times over, to ensure her safety, to protect her. To keep danger away from her. And now she was diving head-long into it.

Her conscience, her fathomless ability to love and care for others, was slowly driving a wedge between them. Pushing him further and further out of her life. The time when she would spend every waking moment at the beck and call of the SGC was just around the corner. One of them attached at the hip to the SGC was enough, and he had the ability to just say 'no'.

She never locked a door, for cryin' out loud. Nobody knocked anymore because Maddy accepted everybody with open arms, made them all feel comfortable, feel at home. Feel as if they could just walk right in. She was always scrambling to find a robe, frantically hunting for her shirt or jeans, giggling at him for cursing the intrusion. They would have had more privacy in a freaking commune!

When he heard the diesel engine he closed his eyes and wished himself anywhere but where he was. He didn't move when the motor died, and he steeled himself for the moment when the door slammed. It was a long time before it did, and Jack felt like he'd been shot. He rose stiffly and met her at the door.

She stared up at him, her eyes red rimmed and glassy. She looked exhausted, drained. She must have driven straight through.

"Hi, Jack. Remember me?" Her voice cracked and she swallowed dryly.

He didn't answer. She raised the sheaf of papers in her hand.

"Can we talk about this?"

He stepped back in a silent invitation to enter. She crossed the threshold and paused to look up at him. Into his eyes, into his soul. Jack tried to hold her gaze but couldn't. He closed his eyes against the anguish and despair he saw there. He felt her finger tips on his face and his heart slowly shredded itself to pieces. He gently moved her hand away and closed the door, then walked around the table to put distance between them. Maddy set the papers on the table and dropped heavily into the chair. Jack remembered the first night they had met, envisioned her sitting there wrapped in a blanket, soaked and cold. He remembered falling in love so hard and so fast. He remembered the shakes he got just thinking about her, and mourned the fact that he was so mad she couldn't even to that to him now.

"What can I do to fix this?" she asked softly, brokenly. "I'll do whatever you want. Name it."

"It's too late, Maddy." He sat down because his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer.

"It can't be. We're so good together. I love you so much."

"Like you told me once, love isn't always enough." Each tear that fell from her eyes stabbed into his heart like a jagged knife.

"I won't apologize for saving your life."

"I was at peace, Maddy. I knew all the important things were safe. I knew _you_ were safe. Then there you were, going to die with me. It was all for nothing. I can't keep going through that."

"It won't happen again."

"Sure it will. Every damned time the SGC gets into a tight spot, they'll call you and you'll go running. I thought I was watching you die. I can't keep going through it."

"It had to be that way, Jack," she said earnestly. "If I had stayed at the base, I wouldn't have known when you licked the Replicators. I might have beamed you out a moment too soon- or too late."

"So you risked your life to save mine."

"I'd rather die with you, Jack, than live without you." She said it simply, honestly. It was another knife in his heart. Maddy always had fought far too fairly.

"I can't live with that. Knowing the next time I'm in a battle or situation of some sort, that you'll come beaming in just to help me. That you'll risk dying just to save me... or be there with me. I can't do it, Maddy."

"We'll both quit the SGC. Move away like you said."

He shook his head. "It's too late for that. You can no more say 'no' when they ask for your help than you can get that thing outta your head."

"We'll go to the Nox."

"Maddy," he took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. "I specifically asked you not to do exactly what you did. Beaming device or no beaming device, you'll just do as you damned well please regardless of how much it tears me apart. I'm just as bad. I took you down onto that planet with the spiders, put you in mortal danger, exposed you to your biggest terror, because I knew you were Carter and Teal'c's only chance. I'm no better than the rest of them. Landry turned to you because there was no other way. It wasn't his fault, and it wasn't yours- you couldn't say no. I know that. But I can't live with it, either. I love you too much, Maddy. I can't go through life being ripped apart like that."

She tapped a finger on the divorce papers. "This is better?"

"Not better, just an option I can't get around."

"It's not fair, Jack. I won't take everything. I don't want your bank accounts. The lodge should be sold and divided."

"Leave it alone, Maddy."

"Is this the price of your conscience?"

He winced. "More or less. I'd give you more if I had it."

"All you kept was this cabin and your truck."

"You can have those too, if you want them."

"I want you, Jack."

He closed his eyes on scalding tears. "Don't. Don't make it harder than it is."

"See why I fought you so hard?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he said roughly. "And thanks for saying 'I told you so.'"

"Might be my last chance."

He shook his head. "It'll be echoing through my head 'till the day I die."

"You regret loving me that much?"

"I don't regret anything with you, Maddy. How could I? I just can't go down the road we're on now. You're probably the only person in the world who can understand."

She dropped her head and the spirit seemed to seep out of her. He was watching the life force drain out of her soul. Five minutes ago he hadn't thought his agony could be any worse. She proved him wrong again.

"I do understand, Jack. You convinced me to take a chance on you. Tell me how to do that for you now."

He shook his head. "I would if I could. I can't see any way around this, Maddy."

"Then tell me how to live without you."

"When I figure it out for myself, I'll be sure to let you know."

She nodded and blew out a painful breath. "I won't fight with you, Jack. I would if I thought there was a snowball's chance in hell of it changing your mind. But you've had time to cool off, think about it, change your mind. If this is what you're determined to do, know that I love you enough to accept it. 'If you love something, set it free' and all that? I don't want us to part as enemies, Jack. I don't want us to part with a nasty fight."

He swallowed. "Thank you. I didn't want that either, but then I knew you'd understand. You always understand me, Maddy. Blessing for me, curse for you."

"I wish we could rework this..." she couldn't bring herself to say 'divorce', "...agreement. I don't want everything like this."

"I want you to have it."

"I won't take all the bank accounts. That's final."

"Both our names are on them."

"I make enough money. I don't want- or need- yours. We've always kept separate checking accounts- you take yours, I'll keep mine, and we'll split the savings down the middle. Don't make me fight with you about it."

He snorted softly. "Alright. But the savings account is yours- from the sale of your property in Wyoming. I won't take that."

"We've both been adding into..."

"Stop splitting hairs, Maddy. This is hard enough. I need to know you'll be alright. Secure."

The argument they'd had early on in their marriage, about who would get the lodge if they split, about the spite and anger and lack of respect during a breakup, was on both of their minds.

"Jack, I won't take your investments, either. You've taught me a lot- I'll make my own."

"I already had the attorney put them in your name. It's already done. Drop it."

She closed her eyes and couldn't swallow a hard sob. "I'll get a motel next weekend. You can come get whatever you want. It'll be easier if I'm not there. I'll gather up boxes, suitcases..." Her voice broke and she bit back another sob. He watched her rub her face with a shaking hand. "Order pods or a van and let me know..." She dropped her head and took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths. "I have some time coming- that vacation we were going to take to Nirrti's..." Her face crumpled. "Take Bonnie," she offered brokenly. "Or Scarlet and Moon. Diamond loves you so much- get a place where you can keep her..."

He was crying openly now, uncaring of the flood that poured down over his cheeks. "No."

"Let me give you something!" she cried softly. "Don't make me let you walk away with nothing!"

"You gave me back my life, Maddy. I'll always have that."

"You're taking mine,"she whispered. "Along with my heart."

"You always knew, didn't you? This is your worst fear, what you fought me so hard about when we first met."

"I told you so."

He tried to laugh. "You're always right, Maddy. I should have known better, because you're just never wrong."

"Am I wrong not to fight for you? Because everything inside me is screaming not to let you go without a fight, without trying."

"It won't change things, Babe. It'll only give us regrets when we have none so far."

"How did this happen, Jack?" she whispered.

The stricken look in her eyes locked up his throat and he couldn't respond. He just shook his head.

"What can I do to change your mind? I'll do whatever it takes. We can work this out somehow, I promise. It doesn't have to be... I can't imagine life without you. I can't do this, Jack. I can't face..."

"Maddy." He gave her an imploring look and he knew she saw everything she needed to see in his face.

She nodded and drew a pen out of her pocket. She wiped her eyes and blinked so she could see the places where she had to sign the divorce papers. Jack watched her through a watery haze, clamping his jaw tight to keep from telling her to stop. When she finished she turned them around and passed them across the table, then laid the pen on top. She started working her wedding band off her finger and Jack made a tortured sound in his throat.

"_God_, Maddy! How can I want this so much and have it hurt so damned much at the same time?"

"You think it hurts now? You think this is the hard part?" He could see her trying to work up anger but it just wouldn't kindle for her. "I don't know about you, Jack, but I'm still in shock. When that wears off, when all this sinks in..."

She laid the ring beside the pen and he fought back the urge to grasp her shaking fingers.

"This isn't because..." He had to stop and swallow. "I love you so much, Maddy. How can that not be enough?"

"Because, Jack, sometimes love _isn't _enough. In our case, I think it's _too_ much. You're just getting a taste of what I hate about being in love. Agape love, Jack. Welcome to it. I love you completely. Enough to want what you want no matter what it takes. Enough to let you go when you tell me it's what you need."

"I didn't love you like that before. If I had, we wouldn't be here, now."

"And we wouldn't have had the past two years. I'll never regret them, Jack. Not a minute of them. Not even this, because I'm still giving you what you want."

And she was doing it with grace and courage. She was giving him the control he couldn't have any other way.

"Maddy..." He dropped his head into his hands.

She rose and drew a shuddering breath. "I need you to understand something. There'll be no one else, ever. There can be no question of replacing you, or falling in love again, or getting over you and moving on with my life. You're my entire world, Jack, and if I have to be apart from you, it won't change the fact that you're the other half of my soul. I'll always belong to you. I'll live with this because I have to, and what will keep me going is the fact that every day I'm not with you is another day I'm giving you what you need. You own me."

He watched in horror as a calmness settled over her, a peaceful determination that was unearthly.

"I'll always love you, O'Neill, and I'll always want you. If you ever change your mind, start to have second thoughts- ten days or ten years from now- come talk to me. I won't promise to be able to give you trust, not after this, but for damn sure I'll want to listen to all your reasons for why I should. I'll always be there for you."

"You can't spend your life waiting for..."

She stopped him with a shake of her head.

"It's not a matter of waiting for you to come back. You wouldn't have done _this_ if there was even a slim chance of working something out. This is so permanent, so final- you have your reasons for not discussing it first, not giving me any options or ultimatums. And I know it's not a question of whether or not you still love me. You simply can't live with me, with what I've become, what I've done to your life..."

"Maddy, it's not..."

"Shut up, Jack." She said it gently. "You had your say with those," she pointed a shaking finger at the divorce papers. "I just need to get it through your head that you're not cutting me loose to remarry and build another life with someone else. Can't happen that way for me, Jack. I hope it happens for you, and I hope she's everything you want her to be. You need somebody in your life. I don't. I _wanted_ you. You will aways be my life- divorce papers and living separate lives and other women won't change the fact that you own me. Be happy, Jack. I'm only giving in to this without a fight because it's what you know you have to have. Don't let me down."

"Like I am now?"

She took a moment to gather her composure. "The papers are already signed, Jack. It's too late to discuss who let whom down, when, or how. We always gave each other a hundred and ten percent. I don't know what else we could have done, or tried, if that wasn't gonna work for you. I'm trusting you now to know what you need, what has to be." She opened the door and hesitated. Without looking around she said, "You're still my hero, O'Neill."

Jack listened to the truck start, to the sound of the gravel crunching under the tires as she drove out of his life. He dropped his head onto his arms and sobbed.

**Chapter Sixteen**

Three months went by, then six.

Six months of SG-1 agonizing over Jack and Maddy, of watching the two slip further and further into dark despair and isolation. Six months of arranged 'accidental' meetings being foiled and attempts to draw either of them out about the other being met with sullen silence. Six months of Jack avoiding Level Twenty-Two altogether and Maddy refusing any invitations away from the lodge.

Jack became cranky and short-tempered. He'd go days without shaving, and, they suspected, days without eating. His desk was always cleared of paperwork- a sure sign something was drastically wrong inside his head. He would become more distracted than usual, and harder to keep on track. He came to work late and left early, would disappear for days at a time. Landry had a talk with him, then Hammond flew in from Washington to talk with him. They talked, he didn't bother to pretend to listen. He would wander away in the middle of a conversation, and more often than not they would have nudge him to get his attention.

The holidays were upon them, and SG-1 fretted and stewed over what to do. Maddy politely refused to have her usual Thanksgiving bash for them, and firmly declined all invitations to other dinners. When they went to the lodge to try and persuade her to join them, she broke into tears and beamed herself away.

Christmas Eve was the worst day of Jack's life to date.

His entire life bubbled to the surface and came to a head. Literally flashed before his eyes the way it should have and didn't that day in the cavern.

It was the culmination of losing his son, losing women he had loved, losing friends and losing himself. Chances he'd taken and chances he'd wasted. Lives he'd saved and lives he'd ended. Then having thrown away the balm that had eased his pain and made life worth living.

He sat in his drab little apartment and tried not to envision the lodge. Maddy always went all out to decorate. Red bows on the fences. Milk jugs with candles lighting both sides of the lane between the lodge and the barn. Lights draped on the deck railing, the posts out front, every tree and as much fence as she could reach with a mountain of extention cords. The enormous wreath she used a block and tackle to raise into the peak of the barn roof, then climbed all the way up a ladder to hang.

Maybe this year she'd beam it up there.

The livingroom would be filled with twinkling lights and lit candles and have a roaring fire in the fireplace. The tree would be in front of the aquariums, behind the couch, and she wouldn't quit rearranging the decorations until the day she took it down. There would be a massive pile of presents- Maddy started Christmas shopping in August. Each gift would be thoughtful, significant, carefully selected. Maddy didn't hand out ties and fruit cakes just to say she'd given a gift. And there was never a limit- for anyone. If she saw something she wanted to give, it never entered her head that she already had plenty bought. There would be presents for Diamond and Bonnie, and the multitude of tissue wrapped biscuits that Bonnie delighted in meticulously pulling open and eating. That goofy dog would quietly, patiently, beg for them like a little kid who just couldn't wait for their next present.

The entire lodge would be filled with the fresh smell of pine, the delightful aroma of baking cookies, Maddy's warmth and laughter. There would be lamb grilling out on the deck and a turkey waiting to be roasted the next morning. Both refrigerators and all the counter space would be overflowing with delicious food and ceramic trinkets she'd made and poinsettia plants.

All of SG-1 would be there, laughing and chattering and teasing each other. They would eat and open presents, have a snowball fight, soak in the hot tub, then eat again. They would pile blankets and pillows on the floor and stay over. Maddy would quietly rise at four AM to make stuffing and put the turkey in the oven before she started a massive breakfast for everyone. Carter and Mitchell would drift away to spend Christmas Day with family, but Maddy had become family for Daniel, Teal'c, and Vala, and they would spend the day. Probably the weekend. They'd go to the barn with her to pass out apples and carrots to the horses, give Scarlet and Moon their treats, and wrestle in the snow on the way back. Spend hours ice skating on the pond and warming up with hot chocolate.

They wouldn't have to give in and play hockey this year.

And if he was there he'd be jealous. Starting to get frustrated about the time dinner was overwith, wishing they'd open their gifts and go home. Leave him alone with Maddy amid all that warmth and cheer. So they could exchange their personal, private gifts then make love the rest of the night. Spend Christmas Day feeding each other desserts and lounging in front of the fire and making love as the spirit moved them.

This was so much better. This stark, empty, lonely apartment where hadn't even bothered to turn on a lamp on Christmas Eve. Not a soul caring whether he ate or opened a gift or smiled or was alone.

Jack got up and moved to the window. The glass was cold, but it was still warmer than his heart. A heavy snowfall had traffic slowed to a crawl. The cheerful lights annoyed him. He heard voices and laughter out in the hall and resisted the urge to yell for them to shut the hell up. Upstairs, someone had Christmas music playing far too loudly, and there was a party going on next door.

He wondered if Maddy had a reason this year to hang mistle toe in the shower, in every doorway, or on the ceiling fan above the bed. He wondered if Daniel or Mitchell would be sharing her bed tonight. He didn't think she'd let anyone else get close enough, but those two were already inside her formidable defenses. She would be vulnerable. Would she turn to one of them tonight, to ease her pain, fill the gap he'd left?

A loud burst of laughter grated on his nerves. He grabbed his jacket, patted the pocket to make sure he had his keys, and left.

The roads were wicked. Windshield wipers barely moved the heavy flakes and snowplows were crowding the streets. Jack passed several bars but felt no inclination to stop. Not even a good drunk would get him through tonight. He resisted the urge to pass the lane to the lodge and settled for negotiating the slippery streets, one at a time, until he had driven each one of them before sunrise. The dash clock read eight-fifteen.

The party at the lodge would be in full swing.

He saw Maddy's eyes sparkling in every light display he passed.

Parking lots were beginning to empty, stores were starting to close. Soon down town would be as dark and abandoned as he was. Every living soul would be with family, friends, crowded into cozy homes, surrounded by warmth and laughter and contentment. And he would be driving around in a blizzard because he had thrown all that away and he couldn't stand being so alone in that cold, empty apartment.

He passed a church, did a double-take, and went around the block to have another look.

Couldn't be.

But it was. Maddy's white diesel. Parked in front of a Catholic church. Maddy was Protestant- what was she doing there? Tonight, of all nights? The evening mass was apparently over and her truck was the only one parked in the deserted street outside the church. It had already been plowed in by the city trucks.

Jack put the truck into four wheel drive, climbed onto a mound of dirty snow, and parked. If someone had stolen her truck, surely they wouldn't have driven it directly to confession. He stepped out into the blowing snow and trudged up the steps.

The interior of the church was dimly lit, only candles and a few colored lights along the windows. In the alcove behind the alter was a nativity scene, brightly spotlighted, causing the rest of the place to be cast in even more shadow. To the left, a large table held a bank of candles in red glass, about half of them lit.

To the right, Maddy sat huddled at the far end of the second pew.

Jack found a spot in a dark corner at the very back and sat down. A few people wandered in and out, some kneeling before the alter, others lighting candles and crossing themselves. There was an occasional murmur of soft voices, the quiet shuffle of feet, the rustle of heavy winter clothing, and distant, faint strains of Christmas hymns being piped through the sound system.

And the intermittent sound of Maddy sobbing.

Jack leaned forward, clasped his hands, and let them fall between his knees. Nobody knew he was there, nobody bothered to peer into the darkness. He saw a few people give Maddy a sympathetic glance, but nobody made a move towards her.

She didn't have a coat on, and Jack winced when he realized she was wearing one of his flannel shirts. She sat hunched over, her hair a disheveled mess, her shoulders heaving with the force of her muffled weeping.

How easy it would be to go to her. Draw her into his arms and let her pour out her grief onto his chest. Help each other get through this first Christmas apart and pray that by next Christmas this pain would be behind them. He really thought she would have been better than this by now, months into their separation, with the kids to support and encourage her.

He knew why she was here, in this church that was not her own, where there was no chance of anyone recognizing her. She had been driven from her home as he had been driven from his, by well-meaning people who only wanted to celebrate and offer cheer when she only wanted to grieve alone.

He wondered what SG-1 was doing now that Maddy had abandoned them. He had managed to screw up more than just Maddy's life and his own. He had thrown all of his friends' lives into turmoil. They would be worried about her, frustrated by her stubbornness, helpless to ease the pain he had caused.

Not a one of them had bothered to so much as call him, though. They were still mad at him. All five of them- even Teal'c- had managed to deliver that message loud and clear without having uttered a word.

It was no more than he deserved. But that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

He leaned back on the hard chair, stretched out his legs, and watched her.

When he tipped his wrist and touched the button to light his watch, it was almost midnight. No one had come through the doors in quite awhile now. He and Maddy had the sanctuary to themselves. Suffering alone together, and she didn't even know it.

As he sat there in the dark at the back of a sanctuary he'd never been inside before, watching the woman he loved more than anything else cry her heart out, he began to look inward. He tried to distract himself by counting how many times the lights blinked in a minute, how often the music looped, but he eventually succumbed to his mind's insistence that he pay attention.

Charlie. He still missed his son. Desperately. If only he had put a lock on that gun. If only he had kept it at the base. Or in a locked box.

Sarah. She had done nothing wrong, nothing to deserve losing both her son and her husband. Again, his fault. If only he _hadn't_ locked her in a box. A locked box at the bottom of his heart where she couldn't reach him.

Laira. Sweet, strong, gentle Laira who had loved him and let him go, asking only for the child he might have given her. He hadn't forgotten her, hadn't forgotten that he might have a child on another planet. But it had been too difficult, too complicated, too complex... too painful to revisit. Laira had understood and let him go. But the unanswered question dogged him, plagued him with guilt, made him feel like a heel. So he had put them both in a locked box at the back of his mind where he had to put effort into touching on their memory.

Maddy. Oh, God, Maddy! She knew about Charlie. She knew about Sarah and Laira and Carter and possibility of a child on another planet. She knew about everything except the Lucian execution- and his motorcycle- and she had accepted him in spite of it. Only Maddy didn't see it as an 'in spite of it' acceptance. Maddy just accepted him- warts and all. In his fear for her, he had tried to stuff her into a locked box. She had fought back- gently, patiently, stubbornly- and he had known she would continue fighting to be a part of his life and not be kept separate from anything that had to do with him. Fighting his need to lock her safely away. She had accepted the danger and physical pain and fear and uncertainty that was a part of loving him. He was the one who couldn't accept it. He was the one who had decided that she either went into that locked box or they wouldn't be together.

Jack had to face the fact that he was just a bit afraid of being loved the way Maddy loved him.

Charlie had loved him with all the sweet innocence of a child, and there were many things he would never have told him.

Sarah had loved him, but there was so much about his work that he wouldn't, couldn't, share with her. Partly to protect her, partly to keep from her a part of him he didn't want her to see, partly because of regualtions he had willingly hidden behind. Been one man at work and another at home. Had alternately locked parts of himself away each time he pulled in or out of the driveway.

Laira. She knew nothing about him and never would. He had been in the process of reinventing himself on Edora, locking away Jack O'Neill and becoming someone else who could live in that culture, could live within Laira's life, because it was the only choice he'd been given.

Carter. Carter knew the man he was at work, and he knew how she felt about him. It was the man at home he wondered if she could accept, could love. Carter with her brilliant mind and incredible nerve and impassive determination had fallen for Colonel O'Neill; leader, warrior, hero. He had locked much of his personality away from her, fearing the real man would somehow disappoint her, fall short of expectations he had been afraid to explore. He had been afraid she wouldn't respect the man the way she had respected the colonel.

But Maddy knew him inside-out, upside-down, and backwards. He had opened up all his locked boxes and allowed her unfettered access to every nook and cranny of his heart, mind, and soul. All of his secrets, all the people he'd loved, all of his dark, ugly past.

There hadn't been a lot of sunshine to escape when he had opened those boxes for her.

He had laid out for her all the parts of himself he had kept from Sarah, Laira, and Carter. Maddy hadn't judged, she had simply accepted. The way she had accepted her fate at the hands of that Lucian, the way she had accepted what Loki had done to her. The way she had accepted the perils of that planet with the spiders, and the way she had accepted death in order to be with him inside that cavern.

He knew that many aspects of his life didn't jive with hers. Maddy was a devout Christian, believing in God and His will for her life, striving every day to live as He would want her to live. Jack wasn't sure what he believed, but what her faith had done for her was hard to ignore. Maddy prayed- a lot. Not openly, and not that she tried to hide it from him, but it was an intimate relationship with a higher power that was simply a part of her. She trusted him to accept it and he knew it was something- perhaps the only thing- that wasn't open to negotiation any more than his past was. Unchangeable, written in stone, and unavoidable. A religious woman was the last type of woman he had ever imagined himself in love with, able to be so completely happy around. But Maddy's faith went beyond 'religion'. It was a spirituality that gave her depth and peace and courage. It was the calm assurance of a guiding hand that warrented blind trust. In over two years of marriage, and close to a year stranded on a deserted planet before that, the only time her beliefs had come between them was when Jack had wanted to make love to her. And her reasons for avoiding that had been far more complex than just religious ideals. It always surprised him when she could accept something he did, or said, or felt that was in conflict with what she would have done, or said, or felt, and not lecture him or offer censure, or even silent rebuke.

The way he had.

He sat up straight and frowned.

Maddy had never taken him to task over so much as leaving his underwear on the bathroom floor. Or leaving an empty beer bottle on the table when the garbage was right there. She never rebuked him for his language even though she sometimes winced at his choice of words. She teased him about golf and opera and hockey, yet she never got cranky or moody or surly when he forced them on her. She never fussed at him about the danger he waded into, or the decisions he made, or time he spent at work. She never seemed upset if he didn't want to do something, and she never pressed him beyond asking once. She just accepted it all as a part of loving him.

Yet the first time she had really crossed him- to save his life no less- he had divorced her for it.

Oh, there had been a lot of things building pressure inside him and the incident in the cavern had been what blew the valve. But if he pared it down to the core, he had to admit that he was scared of giving in to being loved the way Maddy loved him. No locked boxes, no recriminations, nothing in reserve, no aces up the sleeve. It was all or nothing with Maddy. She had chosen all.

And he had chosen nothing.

What a fool.

Jack stood for a moment to ease his back, bent over to stretch, then sat back down. Maddy had quieted some. She was gripping the pew in front of her with both hands, her head forward between them, her shoulders rounded in defeat and exhaustion. How badly he wanted to rub his hand over her back, take on her pain and ease her distress. How badly he wanted get down on his knees before her and God both, here in this place that was made for it, and beg her forgiveness, beg her to let him come back.

He had known for a long time, known even as he uttered the words, that he didn't want a divorce. It was a daily- hourly- battle to keep away from her. But if he went back, if she accepted him yet again, how long before she was permanently, violently, torn away from him? How long before a Lucian or a renegade Asgard or a giant spider or a mile of ice or an alien bounty hunter left her writhing in his arms as the life drained out of her?

His eyes drifted to the cross behind the nativity scene. Was this his penance and reward in the same agony? Giving up such a treasure in order to preserve it? Would this pain redeem him in any way for his past sins?

Maddy drew his gaze. She had straightened, let her head fall back, and was staring at the ceiling. He saw the soft glow around her that he had seen so often, yet there was no easily explained light source this time. No candles close enough, no recessed bulb, no sunlight or moonlight or firelight. It hit him in that instant that Maddy was loved. Cherished, protected, enveloped by the source of her faith. SG-1 adored her, he adored her, her animals adored her- it seemed like everyone who met her adored her- but He loved her the most. It was an unsettling revelation.

The wind rattled the doors beside him and freezing rain pelted the windows. An icy draft swept through the church, guttering the candle flames, fluttering decorations, and giving him a chill. Maddy didn't seem to notice. Why would she?

Angels didn't feel things like cold drafts.

What arrogance gave Jack O'Neill the right to cast this particular angel in to Hell? Then, as he thought about it, he couldn't decide if the Hell he was putting her through was living without him, or living _with_ him.

The roads would be getting worse, the lane to the lodge nearly impassable. Nearly, because Maddy could put that truck anywhere she wanted it to go. He should make her stay with him tonight, not allow her to try to drive home. At the very least talk her into beaming herself home, leave her truck where it was parked. But he knew he wouldn't. So he sat patiently, let her unknowingly tear his heart out because she would never do it knowingly, and waited until she finally got up to leave. She paused to light two candles, then spent some time on her knees at the alter. When she stood, it was to peer for a moment into the dimness, move into a darker corner, and beam herself away.

Jack started and stiffened, surprised that she'd be so bold in public, that she'd leave the truck behind. Maybe she had beamed it home, too, though that was even more risky than beaming out of the church. Oh, well, it was supposed to be a night for miracles, wasn't it? If anyone had seen a distressed woman in a flannel shirt disappear from a church, they would attribute it to having born witness to a spiritual wonder on Christmas Eve. He stood, stretched for a moment, then made his way outside.

Her truck was still sitting at the curb. He walked past it on his way to where he had parked, stopped, and turned around. He stared at the truck for a long moment, oblivious to the whipping wind and driving snow. He walked back to brush the snow from the window and peer inside. Then he walked around and looked at the licence plate.

It wasn't Maddy's truck.

**Chapter Seventeen**

"He wants to go back to her," Daniel muttered to Sam. "It's his damn, stubborn pride."

They were aboard a cargo ship, Teal'c was at the controls, and the planet they were headed for was but a tiny dot in the distance.

"It's beyond pride, Daniel," Sam countered as they broke down the weapons to clean them. "He's afraid."

"Afraid? _Jack_?" He paused with the oil to stare at her. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word."

"He's never loved somebody this much, except for his son. He lost Charlie and blames himself. He can't face being responsible for losing Maddy the same way. Or not being able to stop her from hurting herself... the way he couldn't stop Charlie. He's having trouble dealing with it."

"So he throws it away?" Daniel exclaimed. "Look how hard he fought for her when she was attacked. Look at the lengths he went to insure it wouldn't happen again. Where's that determination now?"

"It's the same determination, Daniel, which is why he's able to stay away when staying away is killing him. He's still fighting for her, just in his own, General O'Neill way."

"But he was right at her side when she needed him, doing things I never would have guessed he had it in him to do..."

"I think we all knew he was capable of killing in cold blood," Carter grimaced.

Teal'c turned his head slightly and cocked an eyebrow.

"That, yeah. I was referring to him washing her hair when she was in a coma. Painting her toenails. Giving up sex when the very idea sickened her..."

"She got over _that_," Sam snorted.

Daniel shot her a grin. "It just doens't make sense to me," he continued. "He got her through all that, but this device isn't really a threat to either of them- not like that Lucian was, or the consequences of what he did to her."

"It was something he could _do_," Sam explained. She gestured with her hands, a barrel in one and a stock in the other. "He could fight for her, defend her, be there for her when Maddy had nobody else." She exchanged the stock for the cleaning rod with a swatch on the end. "He could be her hero. It's what he does best. It might be all he knows how to do."

Daniel poured some oil on the swatch for her. "His _ego_ is keeping them apart?" he grimaced. "Well, I can buy that."

Sam shook her head. "It's not that. He feels helpless to do all those things he did when she needed him so much. He _killed_ for her, Daniel! Who is he gonna kill now to protect her?"

"They almost never argued about anything," Daniel mused.

"They argued all the time!" she snorted as she began swabbing the barrel.

"They _wrangled_, Sam. I'd never seen him actually angry with her before that business in Antarctica. Frustrated, yes. Befuddled, anxious, disconcerted- but never _angry_. The only time I ever saw Maddy really mad at him was over the lodge- and she got past that fast enough. One or the other always gave in- and were happy to do it for each other. They had such a perfect balance of give and take." He shook his head. "I guess he saw a lot of fighting in their future and couldn't face it."

"They're both pretty damned stubborn," Sam agreed.

"Up until now, they were stubborn _for_ each other. This was going to rip them apart eventually- neither one felt they could give in."

"I've never seen him as flat-out angry as he was after the incident in the cavern," Sam mused. "I didn't know he was capable of such intense fury, let alone towards Maddy. He made a rash, emotional decision. Now he's having second thoughts, but he thinks she'll be safer without him. Pass me that firing pin."

"They had such an incredible relationship," Daniel frowned. "I guess that level of passion goes both ways. It stands to reason that if the ups were out of sight, the downs were bound to be catastrophic. When emotion is that intense, all the time, it's either hot as hell or cold as ice- but luke warm is unattainable."

"Maybe the sex was getting stale," Carter said without looking at him. "A lot of relationships flounder once the honeymoon is over. If things were starting to cool off, he might have wanted to preserve what they had before they could ruin it."

This time Teal'c turned full around to give his wordless opinion.

Daniel dropped his hands in his lap and gaped at her.

Sam couldn't hold a straight face. "Yeah, I know," she laughed. "That was definitely _not_ a problem."

"Indeed," Teal'c muttered.

"See," Daniel shook a spring at her, "I _knew_ I shoulda beat Jack to that Ancient download!"

"Two doses," Sam shook her head. "They won't be able to shut the lid on his coffin when the time comes."

"O'Neill and his wife are well suited in that respect," Teal'c said as he turned back towards the controls.

"She's not considered his wife any longer, Teal'c," Daniel explained.

"I am aware of the Tau'ri ritual of divorce, DanielJackson. I am of the opinion that it will not be of a permanent nature."

Daniel and Carter raised their eyebrows at each other.

"You don't? You think they'll get back together?"

"I do. If O'Neill does not regain his senses soon, I will make my opinion known to him. I will be speaking quite loudly."

"You're gonna yell at the general?" Sam asked in surprise.

"I will not, Colonel Carter. I will be speaking loudly to assure that O'Neill can hear me. Over the rattling of his teeth as I shake into him the sense he somehow seems to have lost."

Daniel made a silent O with his mouth as Carter grimaced.

"What amazes me," Daniel said with another glance in Teal'c's direction, "Maddy _still_ isn't mad at him. She's broken, sick over him, isolating herself, losing weight, losing interest in everything- but she isn't mad." He shook his head. "She has every right to be. This is all Jack's fault."

"Is it?" Sam asked softly.

He glanced at her in surprise.

"The way she loves him, you think she'd relent to give him peace of mind."

"Relent to what, Sam? Risking brain damage to have that device removed just to please him?" he asked incredulously.

"This isn't solely about the device, Daniel." She began reassembling the weapons. "She went off hunting that mountain lion when he was fussing at her to wait for him. The way she drives, and rides. He comes home to find her on top of the barn roof, or alone in the woods with a chainsaw, cutting down trees. Have you seen her pop the clutch and stand that tractor on the back wheels? Or get up on the peak of the lodge roof and dive into the lake- she barely clears the deck. It's no wonder he doesn't want her getting a motorcycle."

"That's all part of what makes Maddy so exciting to him. She's good at the things she does- it's not like she goes off half-cocked."

"MadisonO'Neill possesses a wild heart," Teal'c agreed.

"You're both missing the point," Sam explained patiently. "He loves it and worries about it at the same time. It's that aspect of her personality that scares him silly when it comes to the device. He knows she has the potential to jump in with both feet regardless of her own safety. She proved it on that planet with the spiders, then again in the ice cavern."

"And you think she shouldn't?" Daniel asked carefully.

"I think," she said just as carefully, "That she could use a bit more discression when it comes to his feelings about it. His feelings for her."

"She should hold back on his behalf? When she hasn't asked him to hold back on a damned thing? Because she's a _woman_, Sam?" he asked pointedly.

"Not because she's a woman," she responded with a bit of irritation. "And I'm not saying she should hold back, per se. I just think she could be a tad more open to the fact that General O'Neill can't help but worry about her. It's his nature to be the protector, the defender- the hero. Instead of insisting he not have those instincts towards her, not act on them, she needs to learn how to appease them."

Daniel thought about it. "Okay, I see your point. But how would she go about doing that?"

"That," she said with a grimace, "Is what both of them are struggling with right now. If I had the answer, I'd sure as hell spell it out for both of them!" She hesitated, slapped a stock into place, smirked, then added, "General O'Neill's I'd print in block letters. No words with more than five letters. No compound sentences..."

Daniel grunted at that and shot her a knowing look over the top of his glasses. "Well, we've gotta do something. This just isn't right."

Sam gave him a sour look as she snapped an infra red sight into place. "Since when is _anything_ right when it involves the SGC?"

**Chapter Eighteen**

Maddy became so withdrawn and anti-social that she even stopped answering her phone. She tolerated visitors, but just barely. She went to work early and left late, hoping to avoid Jack in the elevators. She wouldn't go to Daniel's lab, refused invitations for a night out, began to pretend she wasn't home when they stopped by. Vala and Sam couldn't beg her to go shopping wth them. The refrigerator was uncharacteristically empty, and she never bothered to cook at home anymore.

Try as they might, SG-1 couldn't hide their disappointment from Jack. They were cooly civil to him, but nobody cared to go out of their way to include him. Not that Jack wanted to be included in anything, but he got the message loud and clear that the whole damned base thought he was a jerk. That he was the cruel, heartless villain who had wronged their beloved princess, and in the process he had destroyed Eden for all of them.

The truth was, he was beside himself. Life without Maddy was meaningless. Cold and empty. But it was for the best. When it got to him the most, when he was at his wit's end, he would remind himself that the further he was from her, the safer she stayed. Pain and heartache and loneliness were a small price to pay. The next time he found himself trapped with the world crashing down around his ears, or bullets flying around him, or aliens out to do him harm, he had the only consolation he needed. Maddy would be safely out of the picture. He kept reminding himself that he was going through this for her. That he loved her enough to do what was best for her.

But as the days, the weeks, the excruciating minutes, crept by Jack caught himself on the verge of calling her more often instead of less. He couldn't help lurking in the corridors to catch a glimpse of her. Found himself hovering outside her office just to hear her voice. Renting a plane on weekends to fly over the lodge. Sitting in his truck on a side street on the days she usually went to the feed store. Going to auctions just to see if she showed up.

He had known this wouldn't be easy, but he hadn't expected it to get harder as time passed. He knew he had given himself over to her, but he hadn't realized to what extent. Not in a helpless, take-care-of-me way, but a hopeless, I-can't-breathe-without-you way.

Lord, he missed the way she loved him. Missed her warmth, her tenderness, her fiery passion. Missed the way she completed him, made him feel powerful and weak in the same moment. His arms literally ached to hold her. He missed telling her about his day, and listening as she told him about hers. Maddy had a unique, introspective, intuitive way of seeing the world, of seeing others, that Jack had come to enjoy and rely upon. He missed sleeping beside her, listening to her breathe, listening to her snore, feeling her warm softness. The way she would come awake in an instant if he stirred, the way she held onto him when he dreamed.

He had been jealous of the time SG-1 spent with her. He had really fixed that. Now they had all her time and he had none.

Yep, he had really fixed things. For both of them.

**Chapter Nineteen**

SG-1 began to eagerly await the times when the Ori drew them into battle. Watching Jack and Maddy continue to wither and withdraw, each into their own world of misery, was more than their friends could bear.

"Maybe we should kidnap them," Vala suggested. "Strand them alone together on Nirrti's planet and let nature take its course."

"Oh, nature would take its course, alright," Daniel muttered. "But it wouldn't change a thing when they got back. He'd just come right back to where he is now. Jack's got to work through this in his own mind. Dark, dense, dismal place that it is."

"What about making him jealous?" Mitchell tossed out. "If he saw her with another man..."

Sam shook her head. "That'd backfire. It's what he wants, Cam. For her to move on so he can say, 'See, I did the right thing'."

"Not to mention I don't know of anybody with a death wish," Daniel muttered. "If it strikes him wrong..."

But Sam had a thoughful look on her face that made the rest of them eye her curiously.

"Nirrti's planet," she said with a nod at Vala.

Vala raised her eyebrows. "She had been pretty excited about selling enough gems to buy her own ship..."

"It might be a big enough distraction to shake her out of this depression."

"There's not a lot she's doing with the weather as nasty as it is."

"The guys can take care of the lodge."

"Whoa, wait... what?" Daniel asked. "What guys- us?"

"If it means I have access to that hot tub and Maddy's garage, I'm in," Mitchell responded. "What am I in?"

Vala was studying Sam with a bemused expression. "You actually want in on this?"

"Sure. Why not? Sounds like fun."

Daniel and Mitchell exchanged befuddled looks.

"What did I just agree to?" Mitchell asked suspiciously.

"I haven't agreed to anything yet," Daniel reminded.

Vala gave them a brassy smile. "Colonel Carter and I have a plan to distract Maddy. That makes General O'Neill your problem."

**Chapter Twenty**

Jack leaned against the tree and watched Maddy on the deck, across the lake. He felt like the stalker he was, but he couldn't stand not seeing her. He had to know that after a year, she was alright. That she was getting over him, and on with her life.

He needed to get the picture of her on Christmas Eve out of his mind.

There was a lot about that night that haunted him, but the image of her in such distress, so much pain, was vision he couldn't struggle with any longer. He needed something new. Something less bitter to have to see when he closed his eyes.

He expected to see her riding, or fishing, or gardening. Playing with Diamond and Bonnie. Shaking rugs and cleaning windows. Stacking hay. Mowing grass. Moving rocks around.

Fixing the barn roof.

He didn't expect to see her curled in a deck chair, sobbing.

She threw her head back and wailed his name, screamed it at the top of her lungs until it echoed across the lake and bounced off the mountains. She lunged to her feet and began clearing the deck, throwing everything in her path over the rail and into the water. Each heave was punctuated with an agonized '_No!'_.

Jack sank down at the base of the tree, put his head in his hands, and groaned.

A week later Jack was back in the same spot, hoping to catch another glimpse of her.

The last time had been so easy- in and out, nobody the wiser. Nobody to give him a sidelong look, no murmured comments behind his back, no coy grimaces to contend with. Just an uphill hike through the woods and he could check in on her.

He had seen no movement across the lake, no indication that she was even home. Keeping to heavy cover he worked his way south along the rim of the lake, hoping for a better view around the lodge. He checked the angle of the sun and raised his field glasses.

No sign of her anywhere. Diamond and Bonnie were chasing each other through Maddy's vegetable garden.

"Momma's gonna kill you," he murmured.

He was about to leave when he heard a sound behind him. A rock rolled down the slope, followed by several more. A rattling snort told Jack he was about to be caught. He faded back around the tree and slipped into more cover. Maddy wouldn't see him, but Taco might wind him. A few minutes later she came into view. Taco was drenched in sweat, his nostrils flaring from fighting the tough trail above Jack's position. And the day was incredibly hot. She must have left with the first light of morning, to be headed back down already. Maddy was riding bareback. Figures, she'd leave the saddle at the barn then tackle the roughest trail on this side of their mountains. When she disappeared around a curve in the hillside, Jack eased along in her wake. There was enough cover as far as the waterfall that he should be able find a vantage point where he could watch her ride all the way back to the barn. He had missed watching Maddy ride. It was a temptation he couldn't resist.

But Maddy wasn't headed back to the barn.

She had slipped off Taco, removed his bridle, and turned him loose. She was perched on a rock in the shade, deep in thought, idly flicking the reins. Jack sank down into some brush, carefully moved a couple of sharp rocks, and made himself comfortable. Even if he had wanted to leave, he probably couldn't get back around the curve in the trail unnoticed.

Maddy kicked off her shoes and fluttered her T shirt against the stifling heat.

"Aww, Jack," she muttered.

Jack started, thinking she had seen him.

But she let her head fall back, let the bridle drop to the ground. He could see one side of her face, see the tears that were rolling from the corner of her eye.

She sat forward again. "Dear _God_ will this ever get any easier?" She raised her eyes to the sky, searching, imploring, shaking her head in slow denial. "Just let _him_ be happy," she whispered to the heavens.

Jack cringed at her words. He cursed himself for intruding, and decided he had gotten what he deserved for spying on her. For leaving her. When she slipped down off the boulder, got down on her knees on the rocky ground, bowed her head and wept, Jack thought his heart was going to explode.

He would have left but she had him trapped. The sun was working its way west and his position was heating up. He shifted carefully, gingerly extending first one leg then the other to ease his aching knees. He was beginning to wonder if she had fallen asleep when Maddy sniffed a couple of times and stood. She stretched a cramp out of her back, picked up the bridle, slipped on her shoes, and headed towards the trail that crossed the creek in front of the waterfall.

When she reached the stream, she kicked her shoes across then waded into the knee-deep water. She was nearly across when Jack saw her eyeing the falls. He groaned inwardly. She tossed the bridle near her shoes, peeled off her T shirt, and unfastened her bra.

Jack bit his lip. Hard.

She took down her hair and shook it loose. The rest of her clothing landed in a heap and she slowly waded upstream to the falls.

Jack squirmed in the heat, his chest tightening with each breath.

Maddy stepped under cascading water, turned her back to him, and lifted her face so that her hair streamed down over her hips.

Jack took advantage of the opportunity to shift his aching body, but he didn't chance a dash to the tree line. He was too stiff and sore to move fast enough. So he stretched, got comfortable, and settled back down.

He cursed the driving need to lay eyes on her that had gotten him into this predicament. How would he ever explain it away if he were to get caught? Whoever said that love made you stupid was a genius.

Maddy raised her arms into the rush of water, turned a slow circle, stepped forward every so often for a breath.

Jack forgot to blink. He knew, because his eyes were stinging, getting hot. But they should have been dryer than they were. A hundred ideas surged through is head, ways, means, excuses he could use to join her.

When she faced him again and cupped her breasts as the water pounded on them, Jack about went through himself. He had to grit his teeth to keep from shouting his frustration.

He was wondering who would ultimately find his corpse, here in the brush at the base of the slope- nothing left of him but bones, teeth and a raging erection- when Maddy finally waded out of the waterfall. She gathered up her clothes and Taco's bridle, hesitated, then tossed them back on the ground. She waded into the lake and started swimming. A hundred yards from shore she turned over onto her back and made lazy progress in the general direction of the lodge.

When Jack could finally lever himself out of cover, he could barely see her white form in the dark water. She was about half way across the lake when Jack stripped down and stepped under the icy spray of the waterfall.

He wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. He had tried, he really had. Given it his all. It had taken rage to separate from her, then guilt over her safety to keep away. He wondered what it was going to take to get her back.

He looked up at the sky, wondering if God might still be listening since Maddy had just gotten His attention.

"I made You a promise," he said quietly. "I promised if You'd get her through that rape and torture, I'd leave so she'd be safe. I didn't make good on it right away, but You wouldn't let me forget. It wasn't the reason I left her, but it's the reason I'm staying away."

He hesitated, chewed on the inside of his cheek, then motioned helplessly.

"I'm trying. For her sake. But the other part of that bargain was that she'd fall in love with somebody else, be happy. You know she's a handful- You made her that way. And I had to break a promise to her in order to keep the one I made You. How's that work? She's not happy. I'm not happy. I don't know if You're happy or not. So here's the deal: I don't know how much longer I can hold out. If you're determined she's not meant for me, You gotta do something drastic because I'm not man enough to give her up. And if You let me get her back, nothing is gonna tear me away from her again. Whatever that means."

**Chapter Twenty One**

Maddy picked up the phone and dialed Jack's attorney. It had been over a year and she still had gotten no divorce decree. When she hung up, her head was spinning.

Jack had never filed the divorce papers.

**Chapter Twenty Two **

Jack knew the day would come. He had worked hard to avoid it, put it off, but he knew it was inevitable. He had dreaded it for so long, now that it was here... it wasn't so bad.

He eased the truck onto the berm and edged up behind Maddy's white diesel.

He knew for sure it her truck this time because she was standing beside it.

She paid him no mind, ignored that he had pulled off the road. The truck was jacked up, the flat tire nearly off. It seemed that one lug nut was giving her trouble. Jack took a deep breath and started shaking.

She looked up, startled, a range of emotion crossing her face. He saw her discomfort, felt her anxiety. Her greeting sounded strangled.

"Hey. Trouble?"

She grunted. "Stubborn nut."

"If you're gonna call me names..."

He enjoyed her blush. "If the shoe fits," she murmured under her breath.

Jack heard it, though, and chuckled. "Stand back, lemme see if I can break it loose."

Maddy rose, stepped back, and dusted her hands together. "Figures it'd go when I'm wearing white."

He glanced sideways at her. The white slacks and blouse brought out the red highlights in her hair, made her eyes stand out in her tanned face.

"Landry have you working Saturdays now?" He had just come from the base and hadn't seen her truck there.

"No, I was headed... out."

"Oh." A stolen glance showed him she was wearing her dancing boots. She never wore those heels to work. He mauled the inside of his lip as he kicked down on the tire iron. The nut screeched but didn't budge.

"I'll call road service. Don't strain anything." She headed for the door of the pickup.

Jack wasn't ready to give up. He could care less if she called for help- he would have done that without attempting to change it himself. But that was Maddy. Even wearing white, she just had to do it herself if she could.

It was one of the things he loved about her. Spunk.

He always took the easy way out- which was why they were in the position they were in.

She always met challenges head-on. Maybe that was why they were right here, right now.

"Didja try beaming it off?" he joked.

She gave him a dirty look as she snatched the phone off the seat. "I haven't got it that fine tuned yet." She frowned at the phone. "Do you still carry that card in your wallet? I didn't bring my purse."

"Sure." He dug out his wallet, wondering why her card wasn't with her registration and insurance cards in the ashtray. He handed her the card and she took it absently. Their fingers brushed, lingered as she fumbled for a grip, and Jack felt a tingle sweep over him. He hoped she didn't notice how he was shaking. But he noticed how her voice was quivering as she spoke, how her eyes kept drifting to his face, how she was trying not to make eye contact with him. She closed the phone and made a face.

"Twenty minutes." She opened the phone again and shot him an apologetic smile. "Sam? It's Maddy. I'm gonna be late. Flat. I can't get a nut loose, gotta wait for road service. Then I have to go back and change- I got crud all over me. You guys go on ahead and I'll meet you there." There was a pause. "Oh, probably all of an hour. Can you pick Cam up for me? Thanks. Bye." She turned to Jack and sighed. "Thanks for stopping." She was dismissing him. He frowned.

"I'll wait with you."

The look she gave him bordered on angry. "I'm a big girl. If anyone bothers me, I'll just beam them away."

He grimaced and looked over her shoulder. "Hot date?"

She snorted. "Just a night out. They've been pestering me non-stop. Seems giving in is the only way to make them quit."

"Mitchell's going?"

"And Sam, Vala, Daniel, Teal'c."

"Regular party. Why's Mitchell riding with you?"

Her eyes narrowed on him. "His Mustang is in the garage. We're doing a tune up and have to wait on parts." Her tone told him she was losing patience with the interrogation.

"He's there a lot then?"

"No more than the rest of them. Nothing's changed, Jack."

He watched her closely, wondering if there was a double meaning to her words.

She sighed. "I'm sure you have better things to do than stand here. Thanks for stopping."

"I could wait for road service while you take my truck and run home to change," he offered.

She searched his face, searched his eyes. "I wouldn't want to impose."

"I've got nothing else to do. Go on- get outta here."

She hesitated, and it seemed to Jack that she was weighing the alternative- trying to make polite conversation with him for twenty minutes. "I'll hurry..."

He jerked his chin towards his truck. She sidled past him, hesitating for a heartbeat as she breathed in deeply, then hurried on. He hid his grin. He still had that magnetic power over her. He braced a hip against the side of her truck and watched as she pulled onto the road. Jack grimaced as the truck moved away.

Too late it struck him that she could have beamed herself to the lodge instead of taking his truck. The thought made him smile grimly.

Road service left a few moments before Maddy returned. She nosed the truck off the road going the wrong way and stepped out. Jack's breath caught in his throat. She was wearing the slinky red blouse she had worn the night of their first date.

The red blouse he had vivid memories of removing the first time he made love to her.

One look at her face told him she had done it on purpose. He let his eyes travel over her lazily, then drift back to her face.

"You're all set," he said evenly.

"Thanks, Jack." She seemed ready to bolt. "See you."

"Yep."

Neither of them moved.

"We're... um... we're going to Dance Fever after dinner. Stop in." She made it sound off-hand but the way her eyes darted to his and away told another story.

"Bye, Maddy."

Her smile trembled. She nodded and climbed into the truck. Jack watched her pull away, watched until the truck was out of sight before getting into his own truck. Her perfume assailed his senses and he sat there a moment, drinking it in.

"Damn it." He started the truck, did a U turn, and pulled onto the road.

**Chapter Twenty Three**

Jack slipped into the popular dance club and found a seat in a dark corner. SG-1 and Maddy were grouped at a table, engrossed in one of Mitchell's tall tales. Sam and Maddy were laughing at him, trading rolled-eye looks. Vala seemed to be swallowing it hook, line, and sinker. Daniel topped off their glasses from a pitcher. Teal'c and Maddy were drinking what looked like ginger ale. The live band was playing a rock tune.

Jack ordered a pitcher of beer and sat back. He couldn't take his eyes off Maddy. Her hair was down, her eyes dancing. When the music slowed and the lights dimmed, Daniel stood and led Maddy onto the dance floor. Jack's stomach tightened. He knew how she felt in his friend's arms, knew how she smelled, how her eyes bored directly into the soul. When she moved against him, her thigh brushing his, her hands resting on his shoulders, her breasts touching his chest, Jack got a cramp in his heart that had him gritting his teeth. Daniel slipped his hand around to the small of her back and drew her closer, his expression intent as he looked into her face. They moved together so smoothly, so closely, and Jack couldn't swallow past the painful lump in his throat.

The waitress brought his beer. He paid her and took a long drink before looking back at the dance floor again. Daniel said something to Maddy and she dropped her eyes. He brought her chin up and she seemed uncomfortable. When Daniel stroked his hand over her head Jack had to battle back the urge to go on the attack. It was torture to watch, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away. The song finally ended, but Jack's torment didn't as Mitchell cut in for the next slow dance, handing Sam over to Daniel. Maddy seemed more relaxed with the colonel, far more familiar. They laughed, and she rested her forehead on his shoulder for a few moments. He put both arms around her and drew her against him, closing his eyes in a way that made Jack want to put a bullet between them.

He chuckled when Maddy dragged Teal'c out onto the floor and coaxed him into a slow dance. The big alien didn't do too badly, he had to admit, and Maddy was patiently gentle with him as she guided him through the steps. But Jack didn't care for the way Maddy seemed so small and frail next to Teal'c. She would appreciate, enjoy, those massive arms and wide shoulders that engulfed her. A chest big enough for her to curl up on. Maddy liked to feel a man's strength and Teal'c had that in spades.

A full pitcher of beer and having watched Maddy enjoy six slow dances with six different men later, Jack was in a blue funk. He stretched his legs across the booth and sat back, nursed the last dregs of beer and watched Maddy have the time of her life. He hadn't been able to stand it when she was so distressed and upset.

Now he didn't like it that she was acting so damned carefree.

Acting so damned single.

It was Vala who blew his cover. She and Maddy had been pumping bills into the jukebox between sets when the alien's eyes raked the crowd, passed over him, then came back. He narrowed his eyes and watched as Vala leaned down, said something to Maddy, and Maddy whirled around. Her eyes found him and it was like a lightning bolt raced back and forth between them. She hesitated, then started towards him. Jack downed the rest of his beer and stared at her.

"Hey," she greeted. She was twisting her fingers together like a nervous little girl.

"Hey. Looks like you're having a good time."

She shrugged. "Come join us."

He looked away. "I was just leaving."

"Do you have to?"

He knew his pain was in his eyes as he looked back up at her. "Maddy..."

She lifted a shoulder. "It's just an evening, Jack," she said quietly. "We're in public, among friends- _your_ friends. Your kids."

Jack sucked on his teeth and set the glass down. "For a few minutes."

Her smile nearly knocked him back off his feet. He resisted the urge to put his hand on her back as they maneuvered through the throng on the dance floor.

"Look what Vala found," Maddy announced.

"Hey, Jack." SG-1 greeted him easily and Daniel drew up a chair.

Maddy moved away and resumed her seat not quite across the table from him. Mitchell caught a waitress and ordered another pitcher of beer and another glass.

"So, what's the occasion?" Jack asked everyone in general.

"Just blowing off steam," Mitchell grinned. "The girls wanted to go dancing and being the gentlemen we are..." he trailed off as the women began throwing popcorn at him.

The music slowed again. Teal'c rose without a word and disappeared into the crowd. The other four paired off and headed for the dance floor, leaving Jack and Maddy alone.

"Well," she laughed self-consciously, "_That_ was contrived. I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't know they'd to that to you."

"To us," he corrected, making a fast decision. "Care to dance?"

Maddy caught her breath. "Oh, Jack, you don't have to..."

He stood and held his hand out. "Let's humor the kids."

She gave a short laugh then sobered. "I don't think I can."

"You'll embarrass me."

"You don't know the meaning of the word," she shot back.

"Pretend I do."

Maddy stared up at him then hesitantly took his hand and stood. Jack led her onto the dance floor and turned. Maddy stiffened and blinked back tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "This is so hard..."

"I know." He stepped into her and dipped her low. Maddy squealed in surprise. He laughed into her eyes and pulled her up. "Easier now?"

She was still laughing as he drew her head onto his shoulder. He sighed and folded himself around her, breathing her scent, feeling a light-headedness that had nothing to do with the beer.

"God you feel good, Maddy." He felt her sigh. She melted against him, fitting into him the way she always had, completing him. He began to tremble. Before the song was over he drew her head back and locked gazes with her. The world came to a grinding halt as they fell headlong into each other's eyes.

Neither of them noticed Daniel and Mitchell slip the band a wad of bills to continue playing romantic music.

They stopped pretending to dance. They simply stood and drank their fill of each other. When Jack's head dipped towards hers, Maddy pulled back. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Don't. Please, Jack, just... don't." She tried to move away, tried to turn, but he jerked her back.

"Why?" he demanded hoarsely.

"Damn you," she breathed. "Don't do this to me. Jack, you're drunk- I'm not."

"I'm not drunk. I want you, Maddy." His hand fisted in her hair. "I can't stand this. I need you. Now. Tonight."

"Once, for old times' sake?" she bit out. "Go to hell, Jack."

When she twisted away he let her go. He stood watching from under lowered brows as she threw some bills on the table and headed for the door. He started after her, only to find Teal'c blocking his path.

"Do not attempt to follow her, O'Neill," Teal'c said quietly.

Mitchell and Daniel were now flanking him. He looked towards the door in time to see Carter and Vala make a fast exit. Carter turned and stunned him with a glare of pure blue ice. Jack fisted both hands.

"If you feel the need to have the crap beat outta you," Daniel said softly, "Let's take it outside first."

Jack turned on him. "I just want to talk to her."

"She obviously doesn't want to hear what you have to say."

"Stay out of it, Daniel."

"I can't. Not tonight, Jack. Go home. Sleep it off."

"Why does everyone think I'm drunk?" he asked incredulously.

"Because you're acting that way?" Mitchell suggested.

Jack whirled to face him. "Planning a coup, Colonel?"

"A 'coup' implies taking something that belongs to someone else, O'Neill," Teal'c rumbled gently. "Madison is no longer your property to defend."

"We're still married," he informed them in a low growl.

The three men exchanged startled glances.

"It doesn't make any difference, Jack," Daniel reasoned. "She wanted to leave. Let her go."

"You know how, General," Mitchell taunted. "You've got experience in _letting her go._"

Jack lunged for him but Daniel and Teal'c each rode an arm and pulled him down.

"Go home, Jack," Daniel told him. "Sleep this off."

"I'm not friggin' drunk!"

"But your friggin' mad. Sleep that off."

Jack jerked away, gave each of them a hard look, and stalked out of the building. Mitchell raised his eyebrows and blew a soundless whistle.

"What do you think all that meant?"

"I think Jack is having second thoughts about the divorce he didn't go through with."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "Perhaps we should caution Madison not to stay at the lodge this night."

"The mood he's in, that might be a good idea, Teal'c," Daniel agreed. He dug in his pocket and handed Mitchell several bills. "I'm gonna tail him. See you guys Monday."

"Call us if you need bailed out."

Daniel shot Mitchell a sarcastic look and hurried out the door.

Jack drove straight to his apartment, then paced for hours trying to talk himself out of going to the lodge. He was still shaking, but it had nothing to do with anger. Daniel, Mitchell, and Teal'c were right. He had no business rattling Maddy that way. He had no business going to that club tonight. The lights were still out, and when he looked out the window, Daniel's car was still parked down the street. He shook his head. Daniel the hero. Rescuing the damsel in distress. Jack didn't like playing the part of the villain. If he wanted his wife back it was none of SG-1's business.

There was no question that he wanted her back. He had never wanted to leave her. A year hadn't eroded his reasons for leaving, but they showed him it was a decision he couldn't live with. The reason he hadn't filed the divorce papers.

But what did Maddy want? He had all but forced her into his life once. It wouldn't happen again. From what he'd seen, overheard, she was no happier with his decision than he was, but would she be willing to dance into the flames again?

"Shit."

No way was he going to sleep tonight. Well, neither was Daniel. With a grim smile he grabbed his keys and headed for the truck. If Daniel wanted to play hero, Jack would ante into that pot.

'_Have enough gas for a long game of tag, Daniel?' _He sneered into the rearview mirror as he started the truck and backed out of the parking spot.

When his phone rang at nine the next morning, Jack had just gotten to sleep.

He had to admit Daniel was determined. While he hadn't tried too awful hard to lose his friend, Daniel had stuck with it all night as Jack ran him in loops and circles around Colorado Springs. He had made frequent passes by the lane to the lodge just to keep him guessing.

He had used the time to do a lot of soul searching. He'd known for a long time now that he would try to win her back, he had just put off deciding when and how. He felt terrible about having hurt her so badly, and he was reluctant to step back into the scenario that had driven him away in the first place. But as he drove around Colorado Springs with Daniel dogging his tail lights, the realization hit him that he had been waiting on Maddy. For three years she had made everything right for him, picked the stones out of his path, quietly and patiently been the anchor he'd never in his life had. He had exploded their lives apart, and he had been waiting all this time for her to show him how to pick up the pieces.

Down deep, maybe he was waiting to see if she wanted him back at all. If once the pain and shock of his brutal desertion wore off, maybe she would decide it had been for the best. She hadn't wanted him in the first place, had known no one here, was as dependent on him as Maddy ever allowed herself to be. He had been her world. Then that world had filled with friends and excitement, a job she loved. The tenuous upper hand he had held was gone, and he began to wonder how much of him she really wanted. He had been jealous of their time- but she hadn't. It had always been him waiting outside her office, never her waiting for a chance to see him. It had been him bitching about someone walking in on them- she had just laughed about it. He had been the one to say no and she went along with it- but she never set boundaries that included only the two of them. When everyone tactfully came down on her side of the separation, he had begun to wonder if he was necessary in her life.

He had insisted and argued and drew lines in the sand about her involvement at the SGC because he was insanely afraid for her. She had bravely kept a stiff upper lip and not harassed him about dangerous situations. Maybe he needed her to show him, somehow, that she was just as afraid of losing him.

Maybe, down deep, he was trying to give her a taste of what he had been feeling for so long. What he had felt from the very beginning.

Punishing her for not needing him the way he needed her.

Maybe it was his stubborn ego that had kept them apart for so long. A childish, obstinate determination for her to prove she needed him.

He hadn't anticipated that her love would be strong enough to let him go if he really wanted to go. He hadn't been that strong when she tried to avoid a relationship with him. He wasn't strong enough now to let her go when she had made no move to pull him back. He really did want her to fight for him, chase him- but a year had passed and she hadn't stepped up to the plate.

Jack O'Neill would never have believed he was capable of such soap opera drivel. That something as elusive as love could force him to stoop to such theatrics. He'd had one too many zat blasts, had let the stargate rearrange his molecules one too many times.

These were the thoughts fresh in his mind when her voice woke him from a deep slumber.

"Jack? It's Maddy. ...I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"Umm, s'okay." He battled through the sleepy fog in his head and wiped at his eyes. "I should be up anyway."

"I wanted to apologize. For the way I reacted last night. I shouldn't have made a scene like that."

"You didn't. I think I made the scene, Maddy."

"Well, I acted foolishly and I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. We're bound to cross paths and well, it shouldn't still be an issue after this long."

"Shouldn't it?" He sat up and pushed a pillow behind his back.

"No. Just... I wanted to apologize."

"Just... what?" When she didn't answer he said, "Maddy? Just what?"

"Just don't play with me like that, Jack. It still hurts too much. Okay?"

Jack waited a beat. "Who was playing?" He heard her quick intake of breath and his lips quirked.

"Don't. Okay?"

"Don't what? Say what you mean, Maddy."

She sighed into his ear. Even across the phone it sent shivers up his spine. Jack held his hand out and watched it tremble. She was a drug he would never get out of his system.

"We tried and it didn't work for you. I warned you about this. Men can never stay in love with me for very long."

"I never stopped loving you."

"You just couldn't deal with me. Same difference."

"No, Maddy, I was stupid. I was mad and I was scared and I reacted like a fool. There'd been a lot building up."

"Like what?"

It was his turn to sigh. "Like SG-1 constantly interrupting my time with you. Like being insanely jealous of every minute you spend with anybody but me. Like wanting all your attention all the time and trying to hold back so I wouldn't smother you. Like getting mad at you instead of them for not letting us alone for a friggin' minute."

"I'm not blameless, Jack. I should learn to say 'no'."

"That's not it, Babe. It's me. You're allowed to have friends, go riding with Sam and..."

"I'm _allowed_?" she repeated ominously.

"You know what I mean."

"Say what you mean, Jack."

He grunted. "Alright. There's no good reason for you not to spend time with SG-1. They see what I see in you. They're all in love with you. I have a problem sharing you with them. I have a problem seeing anyone else adoring you anywhere close to the way I do. I want to give you everything, _be_ everything to you, for you. Anything you get from them I don't get to give you."

"So you divorced me over it?"

Jack bit his tongue. It wasn't time to bring up the unfiled papers. "I think I was punishing myself. I was afraid of disappointing you."

"You only did that when you left."

"It doesn't feel that way. I started to feel like you needed them more than you needed me."

"I'm sorry. It wasn't that way. I know you mentioned it, but I didn't realize how much it bothered you."

"I got too used to you making everything right for me, Maddy. My jealousy was my problem- I shouldn't have expected you to fix it for me... like you do everything else."

There was a long pause. As it lengthened Jack grimaced.

"Well, go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

"You're kidding."

"Nooo..."

"Maddy, talk to me. Tell me I didn't screw us up."

"Oh, I was pretty screwed up before you met me," she tried to laugh but it sounded sour.

"Tell me it's not too late. Tell me you still love me."

"I never stopped loving you, Jack."

"Then..."

"Don't," she said quickly. "Just... have a good day."

"_Maddy!_ Don't hang up! Please?"

"Damn it, Jack, all I wanted was to apologize for making a scene the first time we crossed paths in over a year! Don't get all mushy and nostalgic on me, for cryin' out loud!"

He swallowed hard. "I want to see you."

She was mad now. "You've had a friggin' _year_ to contact me, Jack. You didn't so much as step foot inside the commissary! Now, all of a sudden, we meet along the road and you're _love-sick_? Gimme a break. Go buy yourself a whore, work it off." She hung up on him.

Jack stared at the phone. "How the hell did that happen?" he wondered out loud. Then he blew a long breath. "Guess I asked for that." He slid back down into the covers, but sleep wouldn't come.

**Chapter Twenty Four**

Two hours later, when Jack pulled into the driveway at the lodge, Maddy was bent over the engine of Mitchell's Mustang. The car was backed into the garage, the doors open to the sunshine. She looked around without raising up. When she saw it was him, she planted both hands on the car and dropped her head forward.

Jack got out and walked over. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Don't do this."

"Haven't done anything... yet."

"You showed up here. There had better be something you forgot to take with you."

"There is. You."

She clicked her tongue, picked up a wrench, and bent back into the engine.

"Just talk to me," he asked quietly. "Better yet, listen. Maddy, I battled with myself every damned day not come crawling back to you."

That brought her out from under the hood with fire in her eyes. "Didn't take my advice on the whore, didja?"

"Damn it, Maddy! You told me if I ever had second thoughts..."

"It just strikes me wrong that those second thoughts didn't surface until I got a flat practically in front of you! Out of sight, out of mind, Jack, so go away and forget about me _again._"

"I didn't forget about you! I was trying like hell to keep away from you! It was a daily battle!"

"And something has changed that?"

"I can't do it anymore."

"Suddenly. Conveniently, after not seeing each other for a year. 'Oh, there's that woman I used to be married to'," she mocked. "Gosh, lemme rip her heart out and see if it's still beating!"

"I was pretty damned mad at you!"

"No kidding. Glad you mentioned it or I might have missed the signs!"

Cameron Mitchell chose that moment to walk out of the lodge from the back of the garage, his feet bare and wearing nothing but jeans, toweling his hair dry.

"Maddy, I'm sorry I slept in. You didn't have to start that without..." He looked up, saw Jack, and froze.

Jack's face went completely blank.

"Hi, General," Mitchell said uneasily. He looked at Maddy. "Everything alright... under there?" he added after a beat.

"The plugs are fouled again. We've got an oil leak somewhere, but I don't smell gas on them."

"I'd like to have a private conversation with my wife," Jack said coldly.

"_Ex_ wife," Maddy corrected. Jack ignored her.

"General, respectfully, I don't think Maddy is interested."

"I didn't ask her. I'm _asking_ you to go away."

Mitchell looked at Maddy. Her face was pinched, her lips pressed in a tight line. Finally, she nodded. Mitchell gave Jack a long look before he turned and walked back into the lodge.

"Cradle robbing now?" Jack asked pointedly.

Maddy grabbed a rag off her tool chest and studiously wiped her hands before she answered. "Daniel and Cam were concerned about me last night. Cam was going to have to rent a car to come out here today, to work on his car. Nobody wanted me to stay here alone after the scene at the club. I asked Cam to stay over. He slept on the couch."

She started towards him.

"The only reason I'm bothering to tell you this is I don't want you busting Cam's nose over nothing."

She got close enough to lay her hand on his chest- and push him backwards towards his truck.

"What I do, and with whom I do it, is no longer any of your concern, O'Neill."

She kept him backing until he was up against the truck.

"My mistake was offering a civil apology for acting silly last night. Rest assured, General O'Neill, it won't happen again. I'm gonna make a decided effort to keep outta your path from now on, so these little micro-bursts of emotion won't be a problem for either of us." She opened the door for him. "Goodbye, Jack." She turned to leave.

Jack grabbed her arm and spun her back around. Before she could snap at him he jerked her against him, caught the back of her head, and locked his mouth over hers. His kiss wasn't angry, it wasn't harsh. He kissed her like a drowning man gasping for breath. Maddy didn't respond, but she didn't fight him either. When he let her go she blinked up at him for a full minute.

Then she slapped him.

Jack watched her walk away with a cynical twist playing along his lips. He got into the truck, started the engine, and headed down the lane. He stopped for a moment and considered going back, then decided a confrontation with Mitchell wouldn't be in anyone's best interest. He let off the brake and continued down the lane.

Maddy heard the truck stop for a moment then move on. She smiled.

**Chapter Twenty Five**

Jack started eating in the commissary again, and it didn't escape his notice that many of his favorite dishes began appearing. He made an effort to be on time for work, and was frustrated when he still couldn't catch her alone in the elevator. It took him a week to discover she was coming in an hour early. When he hit the elevators at the same time as she did, she changed-up her arrival times to thwart him. It became a subtle game between them and it was nearly two weeks before he got her alone again for the long ride.

He had waited at the secondary elevators on Eleven, and when the doors opened he walked her right up against the back wall. He had kissed her all the way to Twenty Eight, where he left without a word. From then on Maddy had doubled her efforts to avoid him, and some days he allowed her to think she had. But it was becoming harder and harder for him to get through the day without his morning fix of his wife.

He laughed when she started eating garlic on the way to work to put him off. When that didn't work she tried biting his lip. That earned her a mouth full of probing tongue for seventeen levels and it was a long time before she tried it again.

But occasionally she did, and Jack took it as a good sign.

He also took it as a good sign that she played the game with him instead of simply beaming into her office.

He knew she liked to grocery shop on Thursday evenings- when the specials and sales started- so he began haunting the aisles of her favorite store so he could pretend to accidently bump into her. She would pretend to ignore him, play a subtle game of tag through the aisles, until he would corner her and ask her opinion on a cut of meat, or the ripeness of the melons. She would answer his question politely, point out that he didn't cook, then quickly finish her shopping and leave. One day, after hounding her through the aisles and getting her to banter with him, he actually bought two nice steaks. He followed her through the check out then caught up to her at her pickup.

"Why don't you take these home and cook them for us? I'll light the grill for you."

"You'll want yours raw. For the black eye I'm gonna give you if you don't stop hounding me."

"Then let me take you out to dinner."

"For what possible reason?"

"We're hungry? So we can talk? Because you love me and miss me?"

She shook her head and left, but he saw her smiling. So he followed her home and traded her the steaks for the bags of groceries she was carrying inside.

"Jack, leave me alone? Please?"

"Should I light the grill now, or are we gonna make love before we eat?" The shock on her face delighted him.

"Tell you what. I'll cook the steaks and share them with Bonnie while you go home and _make love_ to yourself."

He laughed at her and held the door open.

"You're gonna piss me off,"she warned.

He sobered. "Good. Once you blow up at me and get it off your chest, we'll be able to talk. Making you mad was the only way I ever could get you to open up."

"Get _what_ off my chest?"

"You're mad at me."

"For hounding me!"

"I love you."

"You walked out on me."

"I said I'm sorry."

"Oh, that makes it alright," she shot back sarcastically. "Jack, just go."

"You can talk to me here, or you can talk to me on Nirrti's planet." His threat was all too clear. Maddy stalked through the door.

Going into the lodge for the first time in so long hit Jack harder than he thought it would. Bonnie and Diamond greeted him as if he had never left. He set the grocery bags on the counter and started putting things away. She stood and stared at him.

"What are we gonna have with the steaks? You have any noodles?"

She shook her head in disbelief. "You divorce me. I don't see or hear from you in a year. Then all of a sudden I'm supposed to _ignore_ a year of pain and heartache and trying to pick up the pieces of my life and just cook dinner for you? Are you on drugs?"

"I've been trying to talk to you about it. You won't listen."

"You said it all with those papers I signed."

"You signed them. I didn't file them."

"It's not too late."

"I don't want a divorce, Maddy. I flipped out. I needed time to get my head straight."

"A _year_?"

"It didn't take a week to realize what a royal jackass I am, what a major disaster I made of what we had. More than anything I regret hurting you."

"A _year_?"

He winced and picked up a jar of peanut butter. "I knew a divorce was the only thing that would get your attention..."

"Like a bullet in the brain," she agreed.

He winced again. "...and I knew right off it was a mistake. But my stubborn was up and I had the papers drawn before I could chicken out. If I weren't in your life, Maddy, you'd be a hellava lot safer. That business with the Lucians..." he shuddered. "I told myself then, made promises to God, that I'd leave to keep you safe. But I didn't have the guts."

He put the peanut butter away and leaned his butt against the counter. "Then SG-1 fell in love with you, and I was so damned jealous. When Loki came looking for me and took you instead, it was more than I could handle. I was convinced there'd be a next time and you'd die because of me. I woke up on the Odyssey and found out Mitchell was way overdue from picking you up. It was my fault you were down on that God-awful planet. I about took that ship apart, and was ready to take Mitchell apart. I wasn't over that when you threw yourself on top of me in that cavern."

He studied the floor. "Maddy, I don't deserve what it took for you to stand there with that cavern collapsing in on us until you were sure I'd eliminated the Replicators. I didn't know you were there until..." He stopped again and swallowed. "I knew I was going to die, and it was okay. Everyone was safe, _you_ were safe, and if I was gone the shit that always seems to miss me and hit you would be gone, too. I love you enough to accept death if that's what will keep you safe. Not that I'm out looking for it, but the opportunity arose and I accepted it. It would have been an honorable death, as Teal'c would say. You could have been proud of me. I'd be your hero again- forever this time. I kept hoping you wouldn't beam me outta there before I got the job done, and you didn't. But you got me outta there."

"Did it ever occur to you that I was just as at peace with dying with you, dying trying to save you, as you were?"

"That's what pissed me off so much. What scared me into this separation."

She shook her head and started unwrapping the steaks. "Those drugs are messing with your head. You're not making any sense."

"Tell me about it," he grumbled. "I couldn't live another day with your life on the line, your life hinged on what I do, or don't do. Hinged on my past. Now multiply that by five."

She shot him a frown.

"Daniel, Teal'c, Carter, Vala, Mitchell. You'd do the same for them. And it's my fault for introducing you to them. Dragging you into all of this."

"Oh, for pities sake, Jack! Take off the sack cloth and ashes already!"

"You just don't understand what you mean to me, Maddy."

"A _year_, Jack.? You always said you're a man of action. Well actions do speak louder than words."

"I spent that year trying to talk myself into filing those papers. I couldn't do it."

"But you sure as hell could erase yourself from my life. You couldn't live without me that much."

"I can't do alive what I could have done dead."

"So being in love with me makes you willing to die." She pressed her lips together thoughtfully. "Yep, it's all clear to me now."

"God, Maddy, how do I explain to you that it goes so far beyond 'love'."

"Nothing says 'I love you' like divorce papers."

"I lost my head! I flipped out! Went wacko! Berzerk! Off the deep end! You have that effect on me, damn it! Never just _to_ the edge- all the way over and then some! Whether I'm making love to you or being proud of you or laughing with you- or getting mad at you! The most I've ever felt with anyone else all my life is only the starting point with you! It was like riding a high at first, but when I realized it was only getting stronger and expanding... I wasn't sure I could handle it."

"And it took you a year to decide you could?"

"I still don't know if I can handle it. It scares me silly. But I know I need to try. I know now more than ever that I can't _not_ try. I can't live without you. I don't want to."

She grimaced and massaged her temples.

"Getting a headache?" he asked worriedly.

"Yeah, but it's not from that device growing in my brain. Go light the grill, wouldja?" She opened her spice cabinet and began selecting seasonings.

Jack stroked a hand down over her hair. "You compared me to a wild roller coaster once. Now I understand what you meant. Even if you love roller coasters, you gotta step off once in a while."

"Well, Jack, you stepped off for a year. How long will that do you? How long before you gotta step off again?"

He turned her head so she'd look at him. "This roller coaster isn't your fault, Maddy. Maybe it isn't mine, either. It's just our life. Understand there's nothing you can do, or change, or fix. It just _is._ Some people are like mixing oil and water. Others go together like guns and bullets. You and I... we're like combining a nuclear bomb with naquada. The explosion is awesome, but fallout is inevitable."

"You've been probing that depth so many people don't believe you have," she said softly.

"I knew the minute I laid eyes on you again I'd be doing exactly what I'm doing right now. It's only ever been a matter of time."

"I've always tried to give you the space you need, Jack. You didn't have to take it as far as you did. You didn't trust me with it."

"You make too much sense, Maddy. I didn't want your rational common sense- I needed to _do_ something."

"Well you sure as hell did." Holding a spice bottle in each hand she weighted one against the other. "Vacation. Divorce. Vacation. Divorce."

He grimaced at her. "I _know_." He drew a finger down over her cheek, elated that she didn't pull away. "It was never you, Maddy. It was all the circumstances, the churning vortex our life had become. I still don't know how you handle it the way you do. I just want it all to go away and just be us again. You and me and nobody else on the entire planet."

"It was me you got mad enough at to divorce. Here's a news flash for you: There's no _us_ in divorce."

"There's no divorce."

She gave him a look that chilled his heart. "Go start the grill."

He watched her for a moment as she seasoned the steaks. She was deep in thought, he could tell by the absent, disjointed way she worked. He lounged off the counter and went out onto the deck. When he raised the lid on the grill, the remains of the last use were sitting there, black and strung with cobwebs. Two petrified hamburgers lay beside a moldy, curled-up bun. He gathered it all up and threw it into the trash, turned on the gas, lit the burners and closed the lid. He went back inside and worked at getting the black soot off his hands.

"We need to let that grill burn off," he told her over his shoulder.

"Yeah, it hasn't been used in awhile. The whole place would have gone to hell if it weren't for your kids coming around, doing stuff." She set a pot beside the sink. "Fill that when you're done."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Jack couldn't stand it.

"So catch me up on what you've been doing."

She didn't look at him. "You say that as if you think you can just step back into my life like nothing's happened."

"Not like it didn't happen..."

"Not like you can step back into my life, either."

"I don't have to step. I can jump. Dive. Slam?"

She shook her head.

"I made you want me the first time. I'll do it again."

"Wanting you isn't the problem."

"Tell me the problem. So I can work on it."

"You've been working on the problem for a year now. You've been away from it so it doesn't look so bad. How long before you get mad enough to divorce me again?"

"I didn't divorce you."

"For all intents and purposes, you did."

He gestured impatiently. "I've done a lot of soul searching. I won't tell you I'll handle every damned thing that comes down the pike, but I sure as hell won't ever leave again. I feel like I jumped off the lifeboat in the middle of the ocean and it floated outta sight."

"You're not gonna get a chance to leave me again, Jack," she said evenly. "You blew the first one."

"Has it been that nice not having me around?" he grumbled.

"Nothing has been nice since you left. But this past year is not something I ever want to go through again. It's behind me now, and I'm not about to set myself up to do it again. If you don't come back, I don't have it hanging over my head."

"I'll make it _so_ worth your while."

"_Nothing_ is worth what this past year was like."

He moved up behind her and put both hands on her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Maddy," he said into her hair. "I put us both through hell."

"A hell you must have enjoyed for you to endure it for a year. How much longer would it have been, Jack, if you hadn't stumbled across me along the road?"

"I didn't _stumble_ across you," he said quietly. He felt her shoulders stiffen. "That tow truck driver didn't change the tire. He filled it with air and put the valve stem cover back on. The one you left laying on the ground." She caught a breath. "And that lug nut you couldn't get off? When I walked up, you were _tightening_ it, Maddy. Didn't you think I'd notice that?" Her shoulders sagged, and he could feel the heat rising in her neck. He leaned down and kissed her ear. "Spraying your perfume in my truck was a nice touch, Babe. I'd go sit in there for hours, just to be close to you. The red blouse was obvious as hell."

She shrugged away and wouldn't look at him.

"I always did want you to chase me," he taunted. "Maybe that was part of why it took me a year."

She still wouldn't look at him. "Is that what you were waiting for?"

"More or less. It drove me nuts that you didn't put up more of a fight. It seemed like you were pretty okay with a divorce. Everything that's happened to you was tied to me, you've got the kids... I guess I needed to know I was worth it to you."

"_I_ didn't ask for a divorce."

"You never would have, either. You'd just bend your shoulder into it and keep going. You're stubborn that way. Don't know when to quit."

"You're telling me you staged this divorce to see if I really wanted to be married to you?" she asked incredulously.

"No. I got so mad, so frustrated with you and everything else that I made a stupid decision in the heat of the moment. But once I had- and you accepted it so rationally and sensibly- I decided to ride it out and give you a chance to do the same soul searching I was doing. All I needed was one, itsy bitsy little sign from you."

"And if I hadn't staged that meeting?"

He sighed. "I don't know how much longer I would have lasted, but for damn sure I was coming after you again. Staying apart was never an option."

"If I had searched my soul and found I liked being divorced?"

"I'd find a way around it. I guess just _knowing_ was what I needed. If you were as frustrated and angry with everything as I was, we'd work together to find a solution. If you weren't... I'd have to find my own way around it. A permanent separation was never an option."

She shook her head and finally turned to look at him. "You're not a patient man, Jack. This is way outta character. I might have bought that excuse after a week, maybe a month."

"Your influence has drawn out the best and the worst in me, Maddy. I _talk_ to you. I _feel_ because of you. You've taught me so much about myself, and you've changed me some too..."

"Into a man who can divorce a wife he loves," she said bitterly. "I seem to have a knack for that."

"_That_ has been hanging over our heads since we first met!" he said with a little heat. "Maybe this _was_ for the best! I left but I couldn't stay away. Does that prove anything to you?"

She studied him sullenly. "You've had a year to come up with a pat story. But so far this conversation has been all about you. Care to probe the depths of what it's done to _me_?"

"Proved once and for all that nothing can keep me away from you?"

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Hate to break this to you, Jack, but your already gone."

"I'm ba-ack."

"You're standing in my kitchen. That's _all_."

"You're hurt and disappointed. I'll never forgive myself for that. But I'll live with it because I have to. Down the road, Maddy, this might have done us both some good."

"I could have lived without it," she said dryly. "You always bitched at _me_ for trying to fix things before they broke."

"We _were_ breaking, Maddy. Not our love for each other, but our life together. It was getting outta hand."

"I knew you were getting frustrated," she admitted. "But I didn't realize to what extent."

"I didn't either until it hit me like a staff blast. We need to make some decisions. Set some guidelines for what will work for us both."

"Let's start by defining our situation," she threw his long ago words back at him. "You're out of my life. Gee, that sorta sums it all up, doesn't it? Let's put these steaks on so we can eat and you can go on home. If that water is boiling dump the noodles in." She picked up the plate of steaks and reached for the aluminum foil. "Oh! There _is_ one more thing!" She rounded on him. "Stop accosting me in the elevator. I'll have Landry assign a SF to escort me to and from work if you persist."

"You mean like this?" He caught the back of her head and seared a scorching kiss across her mouth. He drew back and watched her eyes.

"Yeah, like that," she said breathlessly.

"Remember how I used to take you right here on the kitchen floor?" he asked softly. "Tell me you forgot so I can remind you."

"I didn't forget, Jack, but apparently your memories aren't as good as mine. Yours weren't enough to keep you from leaving me."

He let his fingers tangle in her hair. "They were so good, Maddy, that I couldn't stand the thought of losing you to the next crisis you felt the need to jump into the middle of."

"So much better to throw it all away just in case," she shot back. "Remember lecturing me on living and loving today because tomorrow either of us could die in a car wreck? I misunderstood. I thought it applied to both of us, not just me." She pulled away and he let her go.

Jack dumped the noodles into the water and idly stirred them. She'd take him back. She was just making him work for it. Atone for hurting her. That was alright- he owed it to her. Maddy didn't hold grudges and she forgave easily. But she wounded deeply and took a long time to heal. He had his work cut out for him. He set the spoon down and went out onto the deck. She was fiddling with the steaks, buying time away from him. It was a good sign. He moved up behind her and put his hands on her hips.

"Marry me, Maddy," he breathed into her ear.

"Maddy? Everything okay?"

They both jumped at the sound of Daniel's voice. Jack hissed an unprintable oath. Maddy shot him a wide-eyed look.

"Hi, Daniel," she said nervously, elbowing Jack back so she could move away from the grill.

Their friend was searching her face, looking for some sign of distress. Maddy gave him a reassuring smile that she wore uncomfortably.

"We were just talking."

"Well, that's... good. Isn't it?" He glanced at Jack, who was standing at the rail looking out over the lake.

Maddy shrugged as Jack turned on him. "What do you want, Daniel?"

"I was just checking in on Maddy."

"You couldn't miss my truck. But you interrupted anyway."

Daniel's eyes flashed angrily. "I saw it, Jack, but I came in to make sure Maddy was okay with you being here."

Jack gave Maddy a 'see what I mean?' look as he shouldered through the door past Daniel. He paused long enough to say, "Enjoy my steak, Daniel."

Maddy and Daniel stared at each other as Jack's truck roared to life and sped down the lane.

**Chapter Twenty Six**

Jack picked up the phone and glanced at the time. She probably wasn't in bed yet. He dialed the lodge. It rang a long time. He pictured her looking at the caller ID and debating.

"Hello, Jack," she answered on a sigh.

"Hey. Didja do the crossword in today's paper yet?"

Long silence. "No."

"Have it handy?"

"Hang on a minute."

"You and Daniel have a nice talk?"

"I guess."

"Didja talk about me?"

"What other topic is there?" she asked dryly.

"Did he line out your life for you?"

"No, but we lined yours out for you." He heard the paper rattling. "What clue are you working on?"

"Fourteen down."

"Contraband."

"Hmm. Then what is fifty-three across?"

"Umm... absolve."

"I had abstain."

"Is that all, Jack?"

"Talk to me, Maddy. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Dum dum de dum dum?"

He laughed. "Not what's in _my_ head, what's in yours!"

There was a long pause.

"Not tonight, Jack, I have a headache."

"I wasn't asking you to make love."

"Funny. More so because you never _asked_."

"Was that a problem?"

She sighed. "No. I loved that about you."

"It won't change. I want you so much, Maddy."

"Hmm, I don't remember seeing a clause about that in the _divorce_ papers."

"You were willing to give me anything else I wanted- including Bonnie and Diamond. That really stunned me, Babe. You would have done it, wouldn't you?" When she didn't answer he added, "Was it because you knew I'd be back? You'd just be lending them to me?"

"You're confidence in my generosity is astounding," she said sarcastically. "Good night, Jack."

"Don't go."

"Why? You did."

"I want to come back."

"Good night, Jack." The connection went dead.

She hadn't said 'no'. Jack sat thinking for a long time. He glanced at his watch again then picked up the phone and ordered a pizza.

The lodge was dark when he pulled into the drive. He let the headlights sweep the bedroom window as he parked. Maddy answered his knock immediately.

"Jack, it's past midnight." She didn't invite him in. He hadn't expected her to.

"Come for a drive with me. I brought pizza."

"I was in bed."

"Or we could eat it there..."

She clicked her tongue at him. "I don't want to go for a drive. I don't want pizza."

"That _was_ a big steak," he teased.

"Daniel ate them both. I lost my appetite."

"Then pizza is just what the doctor ordered."

"Apparently you have something on your mind and I won't get any peace until you say it. So spit it out and go away." There was no anger in her tone.

He grabbed her wrist and tugged her through the door.

"Jack! I'm not dressed!"

He ran his eye over the oversized T-shirt she had been sleeping in. "You look great. I like it better when you sleep naked though. Come on."

She pulled back. "No!"

He turned back and planted his hands on either side of the doorframe. "If I come in, I won't guarantee I'll be able to stop myself from seducing you. In fact, I doubt I'll make it through one slice of pizza before I start gnawing on you instead."

"Go see whoever it was that got you through an entire year without me, Jack."

"You're the only woman I've wanted- or had- since you wrecked the horse trailer on my lane that night."

She hadn't budged from the doorway, and he was so close she had to tilt her head back slightly to look up at him. Her nipples were brushing his chest. She was sending signals that didn't jive with her words. Jack started to tremble.

"Gonna make for some damn frustrating nights if you don't get past it." Her tone was softly seductive.

"Get in the truck, Maddy. Before I lose it."

Her eyes dared him as she stepped back and tried to close the door. Jack bent and levered her over his shoulder. When she squealed and kicked, he slapped her on the rear.

"Damn it, O'Neill! Put me down! Now!" She pounded on his back but Jack ignored her. He opened the truck door and deposited her on the seat. Her hair was a wild tangle, her eyes glittering in the moonlight. He leaned in and kissed her, then locked the door and slammed it shut. To open it, she would have to crawl across the pizza and hit the button on his side. He was there before she made it and he raised a warning finger at her.

"Just a drive and a pizza, Maddy. Unless you keep fighting me. You know how I love it when you fight me."

She slammed back into the seat petulantly, planted her bare feet on the dash, and tried to tug her shirt down. Jack started the truck and headed down the lane.

"You just can't keep from manipulating me, can you?" she seethed.

"What good is all the stubborn and determination and guts and battle savvy I'm accused of having if I don't use it to get what I want?"

"A _year_, Jack!" she shouted. "Divorce?"

"I explained that to you."

"That's your story and you're sticking to it?"

"It's the truth, Maddy."

They rode in silence. Brilliant moonlight bathed the mountains, making high snow peaks sparkle and glimmer.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked a bit nervously.

He glanced sideways at her. "Wherever we end up. Have a piece of pizza."

"I don't want one."

"Well, I do." He dug one-handed in the box and drew out a slice. Maddy stared at him.

Finally she said, "What's left to hash out, Jack?"

"You tell me."

"This is your party. I'm just along for the ride."

"Can't talk- mouth full," he mumbled. "Your turn."

It was a long while before she spoke. "You made all my wildest dreams and all my worst nightmares come true," she said quietly. "Too bad you got the order reversed."

Jack winced and made a turn onto a forestry access road. Their pace slowed as they bumped along the gravel washboard. The canopy of trees mottled the moonlight. Jack took a piece of pizza, handed it to her, then took another for himself. When he glance at her, she was nibbling at it.

"Maybe I'm not done yet," he suggested.

She snorted. "I think maybe you are."

"Don't say that, Maddy. Yell at me, scream at me, beat on me, make me pay however you need to. Then give me the chance to make it up to you."

"I'm not sure I want to go through all that."

"Was it so awful having me in love with you?"

"It was awful losing you."

"You didn't. Can't happen. I proved that to both of us."

"Not yet you haven't."

"I'm trying."

"Well I'm not gonna help you."

"Why, Maddy? You really don't want us back together?"

"The only thing I'm sure of is I don't ever want to repeat the emotional hell you put me through. A _year's_ worth, no less. If it hadn't been for the kids..." She broke off and stared out the side window. "You destroyed me, Jack. They put me back together, held me together, tried to distract me, kept me going. What bothers you about them coming around all the time, it would be five times worse now because _you_ forced us to bond even more."

"We'll figure something out."

"What, we'll set aside Tuesdays for sex?"

"Hell no! I'll have you when, and as often, as I want you. If that's not enough for you, I'm open for business twenty-four seven, three-sixty-five. They're the ones who are gonna have to learn to compensate."

"I won't hurt their feelings, Jack."

"But you'll hurt mine? Over theirs?" He said it before he thought, and he could have kicked himself.

She bit her lip and stared out the window. He could see her tears. She toyed with the pizza but didn't eat it. "I don't want to hurt you, Jack. I've worked so hard to never hurt you or let you be unhappy for even a minute." Her voice caught. "But it wasn't enough, was it?"

He stepped on the brake and jammed the truck into park. "Yes, Maddy, it was always enough! More than enough! More than I deserved! This is what I've been trying to make you understand- it was never _you_."

"It was _me_ you were so damned mad at in Antarctica! Mad enough to tell me in front of the whole damned base that you wanted a divorce! We get back together, and the next time you get pissed off at me, you divorce me again? What, we gonna put a lawyer on retainer to manage our revolving divorce decree?"

He didn't have a good answer for that. He threw the remains of his pizza back into the box.

"Maybe if we both quit the SGC situations like that won't jab us in the ass."

"We both love our jobs. We both thrive on the excitement..."

"_You_ thrive on it, Maddy. I'm over it. The excitement I thrive on is _you_."

"You did quite well without it for a _year_!"

"God! I'll be glad when I don't have to hear that word ever again!"

"I hate that you gave me the opportunity to use it at all, damn you!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You said the last thing I ever needed to hear from you in Antarctica!"

"_I'm sorry_!" he shouted. "I regret blurting that out, I regret going to the lawyer, I regret wrestling with my conscience for a friggin' _year_! I regret that I'm not man enough to stay away from you when that's what it's gonna take to keep you safe!"

He took a breath and tried to tame his anger.

"More than anything I regret hurting you. I really thought, Maddy, that I could protect you by staying away. I even hoped you'd pick up and run. That way I could follow you and get you back and we'd be away from all this without _me_ taking it all off you."

"You thought I'd sell the lodge and disappear?"

"Not like I don't have a basis for it," he shot back.

"What do you mean, 'taking it all off ' me?"

"Sometimes the only way I can see you safe and me less frustrated is for us to go far, far away. Keep you away from situations where you can risk your life."

"Maybe I don't want to be away from those situations."

He sighed. "I know, Babe. I spent the last year coming to terms with that, too."

"And what terms did you come up with?"

He looked away. "Any you want. I figured out it doesn't matter in the bigger picture. I want you happy, Maddy. Whatever that includes."

"I used to think the only thing it took was you. All the other stuff was just bows on the package. Nice to have, but not crucial."

He caught a flitting hand and kissed her knuckles. "That's changed?"

She sighed. "We can't go back."

"We can go forward."

"Not from here, Jack."

"From where? Tell me and I'll get us there somehow."

"I don't know. Right now I'm numb. Like having a wicked, miserable toothache. For just a moment it stops hurting and you tense up, knowing, waiting for it to start again."

"I'm a toothache," he grumbled. "What happened to sliders and fastballs? Maddy, I'm not going to leave you again. Technically, I didn't really leave you this time... I just took some time off to think."

"A _year_? Time off to think is sitting on the deck all night! Serving me with divorce papers and not a peep from you in a year is pretty cut and dried- you left me!"

He motioned helplessly with his hands.

"What if I had fallen for somebody else? What if I had remarried?"

"You were- you a_re_- still married to me. And if you fell in love with somebody else... I'd just have to kill him."

"Not a good time to crack a joke, Jackass."

"Who's joking?" He gave her a hard look. "Maybe I did want to see if Daniel or Mitchell could turn your head."

"_You were testing me?_" Now she was mad.

"Damn it, Maddy, it wasn't just that! Get it through your head- it was a whole bunch of different things that were piling up on me! You know I get edgy when Daniel hangs around you. Now it's Mitchell, too! They see in you what I see in you and it wouldn't take much for either of them to make a move on you. The _only_ reason neither of them have is _me_. Respect or fear, I don't know, but if something happens to me, mark my words, Babe, the two of them will be after you in a snap!"

"You make that sound like two male dogs snarling and fighting over a bitch in heat! I don't appreciate it, Jack! And you should know by now that I don't need a man in my life. I want _you._ I _need_ you. Daniel and Cam are friends. _Get over it_."

"You want me?" he asked brightly.

She clicked her tongue in irritation and sat sideways on the seat. "I have never lied to you and I won't start now. I love you as much right now as I ever have. I can't imagine a life without you. I don't want to face a life without you. But I'm hurting, Jack. And I'm still reeling over being served divorce papers because I saved your life. Understand, O'Neill, that if I knew in that cavern that you'd divorce me for it, I'd still do what I did, the way I did it. And if the situation arises again, I'll do what I see fit to do whether or not you approve. Punishing me like you did will only cause us both grief."

"I didn't do it to punish you," he said heavily.

"Sure you did. It was the harshest thing you could come up with to make me understand how damned mad you were."

She was right. But he had to argue his way around it. "How damned important you are to me! I don't want to control you, I want to protect you! I couldn't wrap my mind around it when you threw yourself across me! I was helpless to do a damned thing to keep you from dying with me and it made me nuts, Maddy! I've never been that mad, that insanely frustrated, in my life."

"You didn't trust me to get us outta there!"

"I didn't trust that damned implant to _work_! It's gone berzerk on you before- don't you understand the chance you took? You had been using it all damned day- we know from experience you can't do that because it quits on you. How many times had you already blacked-out from it that day? You had a gash on your head, Maddy. What if that chunk of ice had knocked you cold before you could beam us out? Didja _think_ about all the ways that could have turned out _wrong_?"

"The only way it could have turned out wrong was if I didn't try! It didn't matter if it didn't work- it only mattered that I was your one chance to make it out alive. That I was there, with you, trying. Together, however it turned out."

"You don't understand what you mean to me," he said tiredly.

She stared at him incredulously. "Lemme see, you got pissed enough to divorce me over risking my neck the way I did, but I don't understand what it's like to love somebody that much? What, I've got the wrong plumbing to have the right to lay my life on the line for you? We make a hellava team, Jack. In bed, in the kitchen, fishing, on that planet with the spiders... We did it again to save Atlantis and everybody there, to save Sam and Daniel. The whole thing wouldn't have turned out the way it did without _both_ of us, working as a team. Or is that what bothers you? That I'm not needy and weak and helplessly dependent on your protection? If Cam or Daniel or Teal'c- or even Sam- had this implant, you would have _expected _them to be there covering your ass! _Trusted_ them to bail you out!"

He thought about that, and it irked him that she was right. Again.

"Since I met you, I've had this driving need to live up to you. I always fall short somehow. You give and give and give, and I..." he paused to stare out the window. "You forgive, and I want revenge. I get mad, and you magically take it away for me. I was lonely, and you filled my life even though you didn't need me. I crave your attention, and you patiently put up with mine. I want to be making love to you all the time, and you've never once told me no."

He hesitated, trying hard not to blab her the one horrible secret he'd kept from her while he was baring his soul: That he'd killed for her. In cold blood, premeditated, without remorse. It was something he didn't think she would forgive. An act he could never atone for in her eyes, in her heart. It put him so far below her on a goodness scale that it made her love for him, the love he couldn't live without, a lie. She thought he was a hero. That he was noble and honorable and honest. He hadn't given those Lucians so much as a running start. There was no way to know which had so viciously, so brutally assaulted her, so he had killed them all. Three of them had been on their knees, bound hand and foot. He had executed them with SG-1 standing there, shocked, appalled, disappointed in him. Their reaction would be nothing compared to Maddy's. For himself, his conscience was clear; they had deserved to die. He had saved some other innocent soul from what they had done to Maddy. And to Carter. But his actions, on her behalf no less, would torment her if she knew. He couldn't tell her, but he had to atone for it in his own mind, somehow balance it out so that her love for him, her opinion of him, wasn't so much of a lie. It was why he didn't deserve to have her risk her life for his.

She was sitting quietly, offering him the patience that never seemed to run dry.

"There's so much inside me that I can't explain to you, Maddy. You don't understand."

"Well I understand now," she said pointedly. "I've had a whole friggin' year with divorce papers hanging over my head to drill it in deep."

"I probably could have handled it a bit better," he conceded.

"A bit."

"Where do we go from here?"

"Don't know where you're going, but I want to go home and sleep."

"Tell me how to fix this first."

"You figured out how to break us, Jack. It's your baby."

"I can't do it without you."

She shrugged.

"You're willing to just let us go?" he asked incredulously.

"You were."

"_No I wasn't_! Damn, Maddy! Have you heard a word I've said?"

"I think you're just horny."

"There's one way to prove you wrong," he warned, reaching for her.

"Wouldn't that prove me right?"she demanded, moving away from him.

"Not when I reopen this conversation again tomorrow. Consider it laying the groundwork."

"Jack, I can't just jump back to the way we were. I don't know how to get us there."

"But you're willing to try?"

"I wasn't willing to let you go in the first place! _That_ wasn't up to me, this shouldn't be up to me either!"

"When you came to the cabin you said 'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you..." He caught her hand and slipped her wedding band on her finger. "You let me go and I came back."

She shook her head at him, but he felt her fingers trembling.

"You said if I changed my mind, I could come talk to you and you'd listen."

"I have."

"Maddy..."

She removed the ring and dropped it in the ashtray. "I'm not that easy, O'Neill."

"You've never been easy to catch, but it's always been worth the chase."

"Did it occur to you, even once, that there's enough turmoil and angst in our life without this? We were a team, Jack. It was us against the world. You skewed that dynamic and I don't know if it'll ever get back where it was. How can I trust you not to do this the next time I piss you off? And I'll be headed for a nervous break down trying to second guess what will set you off and what won't, so it doesn't happen again."

He draped an arm across the steering wheel and drummed his fingers on the dash. "I know, Maddy. I can kick myself from here to the moon and back and it won't change what I did. I'm not going to ask anything of you from this point on, because you have too many valid reasons to tell me no. So I'm serving notice: I'll have you back. If you plan to fight me, load for bear. I'll wear you down. I'll take whatever you throw at me and come back for more."

"I've heard this song before."

"Getting tired of it?"

"A little."

"But you know I mean it, don't you? Here's the first gauntlet to be thrown down: The next time that ring goes on your finger, it'll be because you asked me for it back." He shoved the pizza box onto the floor and levered himself across the seat.

Maddy cringed back against the door. "Jack, don't."

"Gloves are off, Babe. You're mine."

When she swung at him he caught her wrist and drew her arm around his neck. She turned her face away but he splayed his fingers in her hair and brought her back around.

His kiss fell on thin air as she beamed herself away.

Jack slammed both palms against the glass and swore. He slid back over and started the truck. As he headed back for the main road he fished out his phone and dialed her number. He was surprised when she answered.

"Hello, Jack."

"You still don't play fair!" he growled.

"Deal with it." There was laughter in her voice.

"My first instinct is to come after you for that."

"Go ahead. You can't catch light."

"Let me sleep at the lodge tonight. On the couch. Cook me blueberry pancakes in the morning."

"Go home and finish that pizza."

"It's all over the floor."

"Three second rule- dust it off and eat it. You know, bachelor-style."

"I have a wife."

"I'd like to meet her someday. When I come to your house for pancakes."

"I've missed this Maddy."

She sighed. "Me too. Good night, Jack."

**Chapter Twenty Seven**

The next morning Jack waited in his truck for Maddy to come to work. He got out when she did and fell into step with her as they walked to the elevator.

"Good morning," he said casually.

"You too," she returned on a yawn.

"Sleep well?"

"No, actually, I didn't. Had a lot on my mind."

"Can you still feel that thing in there?" he asked.

"Not over the axe in my heart... or the knife in my back."

Jack winced. "Tell me how to make it better."

She turned to him as they stepped onto the elevator. "I want the divorce."

Jack stepped back against the wall and stared at her. "Maddy..."

"What?" she asked evenly.

"Don't... You can't be serious!"

"I am, Jack. If they have to draw up new papers, bring them to my office and I'll sign them."

"Why?"

"So they can be filed?"

"Why do you want a divorce? I thought..."

"Thinking isn't your strong suit, Jack. Go easy."

"Damn it, Maddy! I thought we were working through this! Don't do this to us?"

"You did. It's just my turn."

"No."

"Do it, Jack, or I'll fly to Mexico and take care of it myself."

He stared at her, stunned, hurt, trying to breathe. When the elevator stopped she got off without a word. Jack stayed on and ended up riding back up to Sixteen. Two lab techs got on and he rode back down to Twenty-seven and went to his office. He slammed into his chair and stared at the ceiling.

What was she doing? _"Talk about knocking the props out from under me!"_ he thought in a daze. _"I have to talk her out of this!"_

He waited a couple hours then headed for the commissary. Maddy was busy so he got a cup of coffee and sat down where he could watch her. Carter and Daniel came in a bit later, got breakfast, and joined him.

"Morning, Jack," Daniel said easily. "Not used to seeing you in here."

"Good morning, Sir," Carter said with a hard look at Daniel.

"Yeah," was all Jack said, barely taking his eyes off Maddy.

Daniel and Sam exchanged looks.

"Have you tried these breakfast burritos?" Daniel asked. "Wow."

"I know," Carter replied. "Had two yesterday. But these blueberry pancakes are to die for."

That got Jack's attention and he glanced at her plate.

"I don't remember her making those for the commissary before. I've had them at the lodge," Daniel replied.

They rambled on about the upcoming mission and Jack lost interest. When Maddy headed for the serving line he got up and met her at the counter.

"Since when do you make blueberry pancakes for here?" he asked.

She shrugged. "You asked for them."

"At home, Maddy. Tell me I heard you wrong."

"Nope, you were hungry for them, I made them. It's my _job_."

"I meant about the divorce."

"Oh, I was serious about that."

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight. We'll talk about it."

"I don't wanna talk about it. Just do it, Jack. Don't make this hard for either of us."

"I won't let you go."

"I let you go."

"You're better than I am. Maybe I love you more."

"Yeah, _that_ tracks." She looked him straight in the eye. "You started this. I'm just finishing it. File the papers, Jack."

"I _don't_ want a divorce." Then his eyes narrowed. "_Is_ there someone else?"

She clicked her tongue. "Not a chance, O'Neill."

"Then just let it ride. Give us a chance to work this out."

"Like you did?"

"For cryin' out loud!" he growled. "My head was up my ass. I wasn't thinking straight." He had to step out of the way for two people to pass him. "I'm the bastard, Maddy. I make stupid mistakes like that. You don't."

"It's not a mistake, Jack, and this isn't the time or place." She walked away.

Jack rounded the counter and followed her. "Tell me why."

She sighed at him. "How about I tell you one more time I won't discuss it here. Are you gonna leave or do I have to ask an SF to escort you out?"

He drilled an angry look at her, turned on his heel, and stalked away.

"Don't forget your pancakes," she called cheerily.

Jack spent the day running new recruits through staged scenarios. He knew he was being harder than usual on them. By the time he headed home he was in a royal snit. He made a U turn and headed for the lodge.

The door was standing open and Maddy was sleeping on the couch. He dropped into a chair and sat watching her, his mind frantically searching for a solution, for some way around finalizing the biggest screw-up he'd ever made. He got up and moved over to sit on the edge of the couch. She came awake with a little scream.

"Damn you, O'Neill, you scared the hell outta me!" She rolled onto her back and knuckled at her eyes. "Damn you. We didn't sleep all night, we worked all day..."

He leaned down and kissed her. She didn't respond, but she didn't pull away either. He smoothed her hair back from her face and studied her eyes. Those beautiful eyes with the golden stargates that stripped him clean.

"Tell me you don't love me," he challenged softly.

"I can't. I do love you."

"Then tell me you want me."

"I want you... to file those papers."

"Don't do this." His fingers traced over her features. "Let me come home, give it a month. I'll change your mind."

"I didn't get that option."

"I'm not the person you are. You saved my life but you won't save our marriage?"

"The marriage we had is gone, Jack. I'm just burying the body."

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Is this revenge, spite? I can't tell, Maddy, because I've never seen you indulge."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I can't do this. I won't let you go."

"You already did. I spent how many months thinking we were already divorced. I had no idea you hadn't filed until it dawned on me one day that I hadn't gotten the final decree. So for all intents and purposes, you finished our marriage. Just cross the T's and dot the I's. It's only a formality."

"No it's not!" he barked. "We can salvage..."

"I don't want to salvage the shreds of what we had!" she shot back. "I need closure. I can't go forward with this hanging fire! You wanted this and I didn't, but that didn't matter to you. You bulled through with it. I tried to talk, tried to negotiate, offered to do whatever it took, but you shot me down without any consideration for how it was tearing me apart. Now you're having second thoughts and I'm just supposed to pick up the pieces, put them back together for both of us, and be happy about it? Screw you, O'Neill. You wanted a divorce, by damn you'll have one!"

She tried to sit up but he pushed her back. When she struggled he pinned her arms above her head and held her down with his body. He kissed her hard, angrily, driven by frustration and pain. His mouth moved to her neck, her ear, his touch gentling, his urgency building. He knew she could take herself away from him if she wanted to. That she didn't told him volumes. He kissed her again, coaxed her tongue into sparring with his. Her body relaxed, her fingers seeking his as he drew her into answering his kiss. He couldn't stop, was afraid to look into her eyes, afraid to give her a chance to speak. A chance to say no. He risked letting go of her arms and when she wound them around his neck he groaned softly and moved his lips to her ear.

"I love you, Maddy. I need you. Don't give this up, don't end us." He kissed her again and finally looked into her eyes. "Please, give me a chance?"

Her eyes were so steady. There were no tears. No panic, no regret, no hesitation. Dread welled in his chest.

"It has to be this way, Jack." She splayed her fingers through is hair and stroked his temples with her thumbs. "I can't live with a fractured marriage, no matter how well we patch it up. The trust will drain through the cracks." When he closed his eyes, his heart, against her words she said, "Listen to me. You can't un-fire a gun. You already pulled the trigger. Let the bullet hit and if we're lucky the wound won't be fatal."

"What are you saying?"

She shook her head. "I trusted you when I signed those papers. I trusted our love. Now trust me. File them, Jack. Finish what you started and figure out how you want to live with it."

He stared hard at her, his mind whirling. She was too calm, too sure of herself. She was up to something, he just couldn't think straight enough to decipher her code.

"Go home, Jack."

"I _am_ home."

"Not anymore. You gave up the lodge when you gave me up. If you want to change that before you file, do whatever makes you happy. But I want you to leave before you convince me to make love to you. It will only make matters worse, make it more heart wrenching when we end it. Don't turn that into a tool, or a weapon, Jack. It's too good between us to abuse it that way."

"God, Maddy, don't do this!" He clenched his fingers in her hair. "We can't end it! We can't not be together- it just isn't possible!" His kiss was desperate. "All we've been for each other, all we've been through together..."

"Carried no weight when you gave me no choice in the matter," she reminded gently. "You are capable of anger so intense you could discard everything you're throwing up to me now. You are capable of stubbornness that kept us apart for so long with no regard for how I felt about it. Jack, you're not responsible for my life, for every damned thing that happens to me. I was in this with you for better or for worse and you had no right to make this big a decision about my life without bothering to give me an option. Or an ultimatum. You manipulated me into your life and you manipulated me out of it again. After you promised me that would never happen. I won't live with that. I can live with aliens and life-threatening situations and the kids driving us nuts. But I can't live with a man who is capable of murdering a marriage as incredible and awesome as ours was, for whatever reason."

Jack rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. His hands relaxed in her hair and he cradled her head tenderly. "Can you ever forgive me, Maddy? For breaking so many promises to you? For leaving you? For hurting you?" He rose up and stared at her. "Is that it? I haven't asked you to forgive me?"

"You're grasping at straws Jack. Still trying to make it my responsibility to fix what you broke."

Damn it, she had him on that one, too. "I can't live without you. I don't want to."

"I'm not going anywhere. File the papers, Jack, and we'll see what happens."

"What does that mean?"

She shook her head with a little half-smile. "Go home. If I have to beam you to your truck, you're gonna get there in this position and it won't be pretty. Your head sticking out through the windshield, your feet through the seat, the steering wheel..."

"I'm not leaving until I've talked you out of this divorce."

"I didn't do that to you," she pouted.

"Maybe you should have!" he snapped.

Her eyebrows climbed her forehead. "Really? I should have threatened and kicked dirt, bawled my eyes out, got down on my knees and begged? Given you something to throw up to me every time you got pissed? Let you continue our marriage, questioning yourself whether or not you should have gone through with it? I should have taken responsibility for your decision that I didn't agree with? Huh-uh, Jack. I would have done or changed whatever you wanted to make it right for you, but no way was I gonna try to hold you to something you didn't want anymore."

"It was never a question of wanting you, Maddy, or loving you..."

"Aw, bullshit. You told me you wanted a divorce while I was still covered in ice, then you told me it had to be this way when I went to the cabin. I didn't see or talk to you in between. I had no say, no options, there was no discussion before you coldly crushed my heart, shattered my dreams, and ruined my life."

"And now you're doing that to me."

"I'm sorry? Forgive me? Does that cut it for _you_ Jack?"she asked pointedly.

"God, you're ruthless!"

"I've had a great teacher. If I don't get a call from your lawyer by Friday, I'm flying to Mexico on Saturday."

**Chapter Twenty Eight**

Jack filed the papers and the uncontested divorce went through fairly quickly.

He still waited for her at the elevators before and after work, but he would only stare at her in stony silence, not even answering a simple 'Good morning'. He stopped calling, stopped hounding her.

It irritated him that she seemed to have brightened, seemed more cheerful and pleasant than she had been since he first dropped the 'D' bomb that exploded their lives apart. The changes that pain and heartache had made were gone. She was wearing a little makeup, taking care of her hair again, walking with a bounce in her step.

Bra'tac had warned him once that she would weather any storm but his betrayal. He hadn't mentioned how glad she'd be when he was gone.

Jack reached back in his mind and relived the fury and despair he had felt in that cavern and wondered now how he could have reacted the way he had then. He tried to tack on all the frustration that had been building when SG-1 hadn't left them alone. Tried to add in the insane terror he had felt when he learned she and Cam hadn't returned from that planet full of giant spiders. Even the helplessness at what Loki had done to her didn't seem to add up to shattering their lives the way he had. The issue riding him over the Lucian rebels was harder to reconcile, but still didn't justify his stupidity.

And for the first time he was able to step into her shoes and feel what she felt when he had forced her away from him. It had been horrible enough when he was in the driver's seat, with his attention riveted on his own emotions. But this helpless feeling, this awful knowledge that he could do absolutely nothing to change the outcome of her decision, was devastating. He knew the only thing fragile about Maddy was her confidence in love. It had been the crux of their arguments when they first started out. She hadn't believed in love. He had proved her wrong, earned her trust, then jerked the rug out from under her. In the throes of his mental turmoil, his insatiable drive to keep her safe, his impotence to stop her from risking life and limb, he hadn't considered how cruel and sadistic his decision had been. He had been centered on his own loss, his own feelings, on soothing himself with ideas about what was best for her. On being the ultimate hero. The gallant, martyred lover. He hadn't considered what it would do to her.

He knew now, and wondered how he was going to live with himself.

No wonder she wanted rid of him.

Jack sat back in the shabby lounge chair and stared into nothing. That was what his life was now- nothing. It started at nothing and stretched out into nothing times infinity. The emptiness settled on him like the incoming flow of that mile's worth of ice in the cavern.

It was all about control. He had been in control right up until she wrested it from him by forcing the divorce. He had been hurting, in turmoil, guilty and alone, but he had the knowledge that he could change it, file or not file, keep his options open. He had callously taken all the time he had needed to get his head screwed on straight again. And he had forced Maddy into a helpless, agonizing limbo while he took his own sweet time doing it. She had turned the tables on him, and now he understood how awful it was not to have any control whatsoever.

He had cut the cords of her parachute, let her spiral into a free-fall, knowing he would grab onto her before it was too late, but not offering her an inkling of his intention. When he had finally reached out to her, instead of clinging to him she had cut away his chute and now they were both in a free-fall.

Trust and control. Not enough of the first led to an irrational need for the second. Two alpha personalities, both liberally afflicted by stubbornness.

The divorce had been final for a month now, and each day was harder than the last. It had been incredibly hard when they first separated, but he had the knowledge that he was master of his own punishment, guardian of his own private hell. He could hold onto the papers while he got his head straightened out. He could take his time, put Maddy and his life on hold, and convince himself it was the right thing to do. It had never been a matter of trying to talk himself out of the divorce- he had been trying to talk himself into going through with it.

And he couldn't.

She had been right- as usual. He had been punishing her for not listening to him. Pare away all the excuses and satellite problems and it came down to his selfish desire to punish her. Punish her for loving so damned intensely, punish her for loving him every bit as much as he loved her. Punish her for being strong when he was weak. And she was right again in forcing the divorce. How could she ever love him at all, much less the way she had before he ruined it? No wonder she didn't want to be tied to such an ogre, such a heartless, ungrateful fool. She was so much stronger than he ever would be. She astounded him. She amazed him. And now she was punishing him.

He closed his eyes and sighed, courting sleep that would deliver him from his tortured thoughts if for only a few hours.

The persistent ringing of his cell phone dragged him away from a delightful dream of making love to Maddy. He cursed the caller and nearly didn't answer until he saw the lodge number on the ID. His heart skipped two beats and he sucked in a breath.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Jack." Maddy's voice melted his boots. "I hope I didn't disturb you?"

"Hello, Maddy."

"Umm, the kids and I are going to Dance Fever tonight. We're gonna have dinner at Seven's first, about six. We'd like for you to join us, if you don't already have plans."

"_Plans,"_ Jack thought. _"Plans to sleep the evening away in the recliner because it was too painful to sleep in a bed without her."_

"Thanks," is what he said. "I'll think about it."

"Okay. Maybe I'll see you later, then. Bye."

She waited for him to respond, and Jack waited as long as he could just to keep the connection with her.

"Bye."

He closed the phone and stared at it. What was that all about? SG-1 hadn't bothered to include him in anything for a whole friggin' year. Now that _Maddy_ had divorced _him_ everything was hunky-dory? Because it had been _her_ decision, they could accept it?

"For cryin' out loud!"

He'd go. If only to see what was going on. Then he snorted at himself. Who was he kidding? He'd go, alright, but it was to be with Maddy.

When he arrived at Seven's, Maddy's truck was the only vehicle he recognized in the lot. He walked in and found her at a large table, alone. He stood and watched her for a moment. She was reading the menu, sipping a glass of ginger ale. The black blouse she wore was new to him and it fit her beautifully.

He spent a moment salivating over the inviting cleavage he knew so intimately.

He knew she would have her dancing boots on, those cute, high-heeled boots with the little leather ankle decoration. He knew those boots would bring her to nearly eye-level with him, that she would fit against him so perfectly. The thought made him shiver. Her hair was down, a reddish-gold cloud that made his hands ache with the need to dive deep and swim through the softness. He thought there might have been a few more gray hairs than she used to have, and he knew he had put them there. She was wearing the peridot earrings he had gotten her the day they were married, and the thought sent a vicious pang through his chest.

He saw that subtle glow that almost wasn't there, and he didn't bother trying to justify it with an external source. But somehow it didn't seem to square with the mean-spirited taunt he got from those earrings.

He almost left. But he couldn't tear his gaze away from her and his feet automatically took him in her direction. She looked up and smiled.

"Hi! SG-1 got held up. Sam said they'll be here in a half hour or so."

Jack took a seat across the table from her so he would have an uninterrupted view. The waitress came up and he ordered a beer, accepted the menu.

"I've always wanted to try their scallops," Maddy chatted as if her heart wasn't beating as fast as his. "But I'd rather have it on a sampler. In case I don't like them. I'm starved."

"How can you be starved when you cook like you do?"

She smiled at that. "I get tired of my own cooking. Especially commissary food. And every time there's a get-together I get to eat more of my own cooking."

"Tell them to do it for a change."

Her smile was self-conscious. "You know they expect me to do it. Each one has to drop a little hint of what they'd like. Except Cam. He comes right out and tells me what to make for him." She laughed softly. "He even brings the groceries."

"Kids," Jack joked.

She met his eyes. "Yeah, _kids_. Gotta love 'em."

He couldn't look away, couldn't find his voice. Maddy finally looked down and blinked a few times.

"What are you hungry for?"

'_Did she do that on purpose?'_ he wondered._ 'Is she baiting me?'_ He let it pass and said, "I like their scallops. I'll order them and you can try a couple."

"Oh, don't do that on my account."

He shrugged. "They sound good anyway. Maybe with raw oysters."

He watched for her reaction, and he wasn't disappointed. Their eyes met and locked. It was a long, pregnant moment before she responded.

"Was that your secret for two years? Raw oysters?"

"I never needed them with you around."

"Have a date meeting us at Dance Fever?" she asked.

"I'm with my date."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Then lay off the raw oysters because your date has no intention of putting out."

"You know I love a challenge."

She dropped her eyes. "I'm starving. Shall we split an appetizer?"

Was she changing the subject, or was she starving for him?

"Sure."

They ordered a sampler platter and Jack sipped at his beer.

"How's Diamond?" he asked.

"Being a little brat. She's decided the bed is hers, and she kicks in her sleep. I have bruises all over the backs of my thighs."

Jack nearly choked. Her words brought an image to his mind that sent his heart racing. He tried to change the subject.

"Did you ever find the male Aussie you wanted?"

She nodded without looking up from the menu. "I found a beautiful tri. He's been field qualified, but I'm not into competing. Got three of the four bloodlines I wanted, and the rest are respectable. Champion herding dogs all over his pedigree. I really like his build and his head is perfect. More like Scarlet's than Moon's. They're both bred- due anytime now." She set the menu down and smiled at him. "I converted those two end stalls on the outside wall to whelping pens, and put kennel runs off them so they can get outside. Funny thing is, Bonnie is making milk."

"Bonnie? She's bred too?"

Maddy shook her head. "She's not. She just wants puppies. She's nesting. Every time I go to bed, not only do I have to fight Diamond for a spot, but I have to move all of Bonnie's stuffed toys. She gets all hyper and drags the blankets into a nest and places them in it just so. She pants all night and the whole bed jiggles. I think I'm gonna have to move into the spare bedroom."

Jack swallowed hard and tried not to snap the handle off his beer mug as he raised it for another drink. Their appetizer came and they ate in companionable silence.

"Oww!" she yelped after taking a bite of deep fried mushroom.

"Hot?" he asked with a wince.

She nodded and worried her lip with her tongue. He couldn't take his eyes off her mouth. It was all he could do to keep himself from crawling across the table and drawing that lip into his mouth for her. He could almost taste her lipstick, could almost feel her lip under his tongue.

He should have stayed home. This was sheer agony.

He was relieved when SG-1 began filtering into the restaurant. Vala and Teal'c were off-world, so it was only Carter, Mitchell, and Daniel. They didn't seem surprised to see him there. Dinner went smoothly and he was grateful to all of them for not making him feel like an outsider among his best friends... his only friends. He was aware of their knowing looks when he couldn't tear his eyes off Maddy but he didn't care. He couldn't wait to have her in his arms on the dance floor.

Dance Fever wasn't overly crowded and the live band wasn't half bad. It wasn't a very young crowd and the band played mostly slow songs to accommodate the atmosphere. Daniel claimed Maddy first, and Carter asked Jack to dance. He did, and was grateful to her for not being insulted when his attention kept wandering to Maddy. As soon as the music paused he claimed Maddy from Daniel and drew her into his arms before the next song began. She smiled at him and rested her hands lightly on his shoulders.

Jack cursed his body for the shaking he knew she could feel.

As they danced he slowly maneuvered her closer, held her tighter, tried not to press himself right through her. She carefully kept her face averted, sparing him only brief glances, gave him no opportunity to trap her gaze or steal a kiss.

But she was trembling, too. She drew back self-consciously.

"I miss my flying lessons," she told him with a shaky smile. "Any chance of starting them up again?"

He couldn't think when he was looking into her eyes.

"Sure."

"Don't suppose you'd teach me to fly an F-302?"

"I don't suppose," he returned dryly. "Why a 302?"

She shrugged. "The Osprey would be harder to get your hands on?"

"What do you know about The Osprey?"

"You know stuff like that interests me."

He shook his head affectionately. "Would you settle for a helicopter?"

The way her eyes lit up made him warm all over.

The music stopped but he wouldn't let go of her. Her eyes darted to his face. Just for an instant the bland mask slipped and he saw the torment that matched his own. The opening strains of a bittersweet love ballad drove through them both like a hot spear and he saw her eyes glisten. He drew her head to his shoulder and sighed into her hair. Her arms came around him, warm, comforting, hungry. He folded her tightly against him and savored every moment, every movement. He wanted to kiss her, wanted to nestle his face into the hair at her neck, pour out his heart into her ear. She turned her head and her breath feathered his neck. He could feel her eyelashes tickling his ear, her lips brushing his skin. He knew his fingertips were probably leaving bruises on her back but he couldn't loosen his hold. His mouth moved along her shoulder, gently biting its way to her neck. The grip on his control was slowly slipping. His lips touched the warmth of her skin, found the hollow behind her ear, and he reveled in the shiver that raced through her body. She pressed her hips into his, dug her nails into his back. When her lips touched his neck, tentatively at first then with growing boldness, Jack growled softly and used her hair to draw her head back. Their eyes locked and he lowered his head. Their kiss was an explosion of raw passion reduced to its sweetest form then ignited by a hunger neither of them could deny.

They didn't realize they had stopped dancing, didn't know the music had stopped and the band was taking a break.

SG-1 sat watching them, looks of smug satisfaction on their faces.

"I think he's going to eat her alive," Daniel mused. "Do you think he suspects she asked us to show up late for dinner?"

"I don't think he'd care," Sam answered.

"I hope he doesn't take her right there on the dance floor," Cam added.

"Anybody bring a zat?" Sam asked.

"No, but I could get a bucket of ice water from the bar," Mitchell suggested.

"Think bigger," Sam snickered. "Like a firehose."

"He's still wearing his wedding band," Daniel said. "Come to think of it, he never did take it off."

"Maddy's not wearing hers," Sam replied. "They have to work this out. Those two can't be apart. It just isn't right."

"Throws the entire universe off balance," Cam added. "Everything seems outta wack since they split."

"Jack's an ass," Daniel muttered.

"Maddy's the one who forced the divorce," Cam defended his idol.

"Maybe she was just teaching him a lesson," Sam suggested.

"Or maybe he hurt her so damn badly she couldn't take him back," Daniel argued. "Remember what we all went through to get them together?"

Sam shrugged.

"She say anything to either of you?" Cam asked. "Because I can't get a word out of her about it."

Daniel and Sam both shook their heads.

"She's as stubborn as he is," Daniel said. "It'll either get them back together more solidly than ever, or keep them apart regardless of _that_," he indicated the pair still locked in a fevered embrace.

"They're generating enough energy to power the gate," Sam mused.

"I swear I can see heat rising off them," Cam said in awe.

"I think I just saw a light bulb pop," Sam laughed.

Jack lifted his head and stared down at her. Her eyes opened slowly. He felt her grasp loosening and panic set in. He started to kiss her again but she gently, firmly, pushed him away.

"Maddy..."

She pressed her fingers against his lips to quiet him. "Don't, Jack. I... I think I'd better go."

He wouldn't release her. "No. Stay. At least another set."

She shook her head. "This is too hard. It hurts too much." She slid her hands along his arms and pried herself out of his grasp.

"It doesn't have to hurt," he argued. "Come home with me. Dance with me at the apartment. Make love to me, Maddy."

She shook her head, but her eyes were filled with tears. "Stop that, Jack."

"I can't. I won't. You belong to me. We belong..."

"Jack!" Her voice was like a whip-crack, her expression hard. "This was a mistake. I'm sorry."

When she started away he jerked her back. She struggled.

"Don't make me slap you in public," she warned. "Don't do this, Jack."

He let her go and watched as she paused briefly to speak to their friends before hurrying out of the club. He went after her. At the door he saw she wasn't yet to her truck. He knew the kids would be watching, that they'd run interference. He turned and held up a warning finger for them to stay put, stay out of it, then he bolted outside.

He caught her elbow just as she was opening the truck door. She spun with sharp slap across his face. He ignored it and slammed the door closed, then drove her against it and pinned her there. He let his kiss do the talking for him and she put up a valiant effort to resist him. But he wore her down and knew he'd won when she once again gave as good as she got. They were both gasping when Jack finally raised his head.

"Don't do this to me!" she cried softly, her face stricken.

"Stop fighting it!" he raged. "You know we have to be together!"

"It hurts too much!"

"We'll fix it!"

"We can't!"

"_We_ can do anything!"

"We're _divorced_, Jack! It isn't _we _anymore!"

"It can be again! It _has_ to be! I can't go on like this! Without you!"

She gave him a hard push and twisted away. "Let me go home, Jack." She was crying now, shaking as badly as he was. "Please..."

He didn't move, forced her to brush up against him as she struggled with the handle. He knew she couldn't see through her tears. He put his hand over hers and guided her fingers to the latch. Her shoulders drooped as the door opened. She sent him a last, tortured look then climbed into the truck. As she started the engine Jack laid his hand on the window as if touching her face. Maddy's eyes were wide and overflowing with tears when she met his gaze through the glass. She ground the gears as she fought the transmission and that was a sure sign to Jack that she was as emotional as he was.

He didn't move his hand until she drove out from under it.


End file.
